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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

First date cancelled twice, what to do?!

58 replies

Emmap9 · 27/08/2018 10:38

So I met a guy on tinder and arranged our first date, as a single parent that’s quite a hard job in itself finding a babysitter etc but I had it all arranged. The day of the date came and got a text in the afternoon saying he was going to have to cancel as he’d hurt his back. I was gutted, he apologised. He had hurt his back the day before but then also told me that he’d been out cycling the next morning (the day of our date) and hurt it further. So I said he had one final chance to make another date. So we arranged another date for the following week. Prior to the original date he’d been texting me every (5 secs telling me how awesome I was etc etc) but then the next day I barely get a text from him other than the one to cancel the date. And after that his texts weren’t the same. But I was giving him the benefit of the doubt. So yesterday after firming up the details for our next date, I get another text saying - “you’re not going to be believe this but my friend has just said they are coming for a visit from the day we were supposed to be having our date on to two days after that, so could you possibly do the day before? Really sorry, if they had been coming for longer I would have told them I had plans.” I was like well you do have plans - to see me and as you’ve already cancelled once it doesn’t exactly show me that you value me or as much as you say you do.

Should I give him another chance to rearrange the date? My issue is that if he doesn’t really value me now will that just keep happening? He knows I’m a single parent yet thinks I can just drop everything to rearrange times or worse he’s like we can meet with your daughter and go for a meal. I’m like that’s not happening on a first date.

Should I just say forget it?

OP posts:
PotteringAlong · 27/08/2018 10:40

I don’t think this one is a goer.

RatRolyPoly · 27/08/2018 10:43

He's just one guy, I'd totally sack it off to be honest. Plenty of fish and all that.

Milomonster · 27/08/2018 10:44

Nope forget it. It’s a sign of things to come.

Spudina · 27/08/2018 10:44

Forget this one

bengalcat · 27/08/2018 10:46

Forget him and move on .

fiercelikefrida · 27/08/2018 10:46

No definitely don't bother rearranging.

PrincessScarlett · 27/08/2018 10:46

Sounds like he's playing the field. If he's messing you about before you've even met him this would ring alarm bells for me. You need to draw a line under this one.

Emmap9 · 27/08/2018 10:46

Thanks all. Confirms what I thought!

OP posts:
ScabbyBabby · 27/08/2018 10:47

Absolutely no way! Tell him no thank you and block.

SparklyMagpie · 27/08/2018 10:47

I wouldn't bother OP

Twistandshoutmyway · 27/08/2018 10:49

Actions speak louder than words.

He has his own priorities, it shouldn’t be this hard already. Sorry.

Flyingpompom · 27/08/2018 10:50

Nope. Tell him to forget it.

over50andfab · 27/08/2018 10:51

I’ve had that happen....after he rearranged the 3rd time I didn’t even bother answering. Suggest you do the same and find someone better.

Buffythevampireslayerr · 27/08/2018 10:52

Block and move on.

Basta · 27/08/2018 11:04

Forget him. And to be honest, bombarding you with messages saying how awesome you are before you've even met is just as much of a red flag as cancelling your dates.

PunxsutawneyHogwash · 27/08/2018 11:08

Move on.

I would be concerned that he has already suggested you just go along with your daughter. Is all this messing around so that you grab any chance he offers even if you can't arrange a babysitter and take your DD with you?

Chocolatecoffeeaddict · 27/08/2018 11:13

He's either shitting himself about meeting you, already has a partner/ married, not interested enough to commit to meeting you in person or he's not who he says he is. But I personally would move on and not wait to find out the reason.

twilightcafe · 27/08/2018 11:14

Do not give him a chance to cancel a third time.

FlorencesHunger · 27/08/2018 13:10

I made that mistake. Actually got stood up on first date, he was night shift and slept in.
Gave him benefit of the doubt, he was a total waste of my time and a negger to boot.

I was new to old then but now my bullshit dar is finely tuned.

You don't owe anyone anything at this or any stage in the dating game.
Smile

delphguelph · 27/08/2018 13:15

Next.

villainousbroodmare · 27/08/2018 13:15

Forget about him.

ThunderInMyHeart · 27/08/2018 13:21

After one cancellation I’d have sacked him
off

funnylittlefloozie · 27/08/2018 13:22

Your gut reaction is spot-on. Don't even bother replying to this idiot. His suggestion of bringing your daughter along is just plain creepy.

ForeverJung · 27/08/2018 13:22

Do not give him another chance. He is j7ggling

zippey · 27/08/2018 13:27

If he was cancelling, especially the 2nd time, better to call you rather than text.

Why don’t you cleave a cooling off period, and see if it takes off again. Just play the field a little.

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