I just don't love you anymore??

[Rachyb87]

Hi everyone. I'm soo new to this but kind of want to share my story...I'm struggling.

So 2 weeks ago out of the blue,my partner of 13 years told me he no longer loves me anymore and basicly over. Absolutely shocked and distraught I begged to work things out,suggested counselling or a break. He accepted the break bit 1 week later said it was over for him and that's that. We have 2 girls together,11 &4,a beautiful home (only rented),he works and pays majority of things and I'm a student.

I just can't accept that he doesn't love me anymore,I don't understand it....there has to be a reason why. He said it's nothing I have done,I'm amazing,he will always love me bla bla bla just not in that way anymore. Everything is a blur at the minute. One min I am getting my head around it and the next it just doesnt seem real and i make up.scenarios in my head of him coming back declaring he's made a mistake when in fact he hasn't said anything that has made me doubt his decision. The pain I feel is unbearable. People keep telling me il get through this and times a healer but I just don't see how when I love him soo much. I feel like my whole world has been tipped up side down. Any advice from a ln impartial party would be greatly appreciated.

Oh dear.
He's not being kind.
He's got what (he thinks ) he wants but is not showing you one ounce of respect.
If it was the other way round would you treat him like this ?
No you wouldn't.
Get him to take the fb message down. Non of any ones business .
My ex tried the old mutual split story and please keep him out the house.
He will mess you about for as long as you let him.
In the end I had to set solid boundaries - took a while.
He was as good as gold after that.

Get him to take it down. Start being assertive with him from today. Stop him swanning in and out whenever he fancies.

Give him a day when you are out of the house to come and get his shit then ask for his keys.

Iv had a massive wake up call tonight from talking to friends and 're reading these comments. I figured out he is at ow house tonight I asked him he said yes,told me he's booked the day of work so he can be there...never once did that for us. So obviously I got abit arsey. He then said I am picking an argument for no reason...really,I have every reason. Any way it's clear now all through our relationship it's been his way,and through this it's been his way. No more. I'm not Heart broke anymore I'm angry. He's done all this to his family and expects me to lay down and take it all coz let's be honest I normally would. I'm contacting his parents tomorow and I'm informing then of what he has actually done...He's told me he's doing it himself on Saturday.not a chance so he can just sugar coat it all. He's told me he will answer all my questions next week then iv decided it's done. No more texts to him,no more questions I don't want anything else from him only to be a good dad to our kids. My head is about to explode right now 😂

You sound incredibly strong. Glad you've found your anger. Change locks and no further admittance to your home. (No bed time stories and baths at your house from him anymore.)

I appreciate your dignity in not wanting to wash your dirty linen over FB, but a simple response to his tell all post saying 'Actually X has left me for another woman.' Would be all it would need to burst his bubble till he world what a shit he really is. If he thought you would like down and take it, he's got another thing coming!

I have been there and feel your pain

'What a fucking bastard plastering your personal business over Facebook.'

Quite

Immature little prick

And when he feels the wrath of the novelty wearing off and three more dc to sort out and comes back crawling

Do laugh in his face

'He's told me he will answer all my questions next week then iv decided it's done.'

Op if you can muster up the strength when her decides to give you a scrap of time to answer those questions....

"Oh, it's ok I've changed my mind, slightly bored of it all. Nothing to ask, really....oh and I've bagged up the rest of your bits, here you go"

Big well done.
You're really got your big girl pants on.
And as for 'answering' your questions next week he's just stalling for time (and to get his story straight).
It sounds a bit controlling.
And I assure you it won't help while he's in the 'affair' fog.
Hugs- you're doing great x

Anger is good as it gives energy. If possible, minimise your contact. Don’t let him in the house, he can take the kids. Get legal advice ASAP. Get your support network around you. Reconsider asking more questions. It gives him power and won’t help you feel better.

Hold on to that strength. Take control of your situation. Moving forward the only things you need to talk about are the kids. The house and money.

I know you want to try and understand it and make sense of it. There is no sense. In his head this is all for the best. And he is a great man for seeing it and letting you go and be free to have a happy life. It's all twisted.

Don't engage. You need to know nothing of ow. Cut him off if he tries to have a discussion with you. Show him you are done. Him and his life is no longer your concern.

He want you to be patting him on the back for being so clever.

As for his family. I am very close to ex family. They are good people. I have backed off from them as it isn't for me to slag him off to them. He is their son. And their loyalty is to him. As much as they are supportive of the children and I. They have had him and ow in their Home. And although I do not expect them for one moment to disown him. It hurts. I have been replaced. And our relationship had to change.