BF relationship with DM

[IThinkILoveAI]

My boyfriend of a few years has a very close relationship with his mother. I’m mostly fine with this but I sometimes feel like she competes with me for his attention. I don’t dislike her but nor have I ever felt like she has accepted me. We have a cordial but not warm relationship.

We all went on a spa day yesterday and the spa had an outdoor pool with day bed lounger type things which would fit three/four people.

I was in the pool and he was on the day bed snuggling/cuddling with his DM. He is in his 40s.

I thought this was a bit weird but he told me that he loved his mother and anyone who had a problem with his relationship with his mother could ‘fuck off’.

I admit I have a completely different relationship with my mother. We don’t hug or kiss and never have done really. So my views might be a bit skewed. I certainly wouldn’t cuddle my mother whilst lying on a day bed in public, wearing swimwear and a dressing gown.

I’m not sure what I’m asking really. Is this a normal mother/son relationship or is there always going to be another person in our relationship?

Tells you all you need to know.

Oh sweetheart - you are so much better than this.

You are very lucky that you do not have children with this character. Do you have any property ties?

Where do you want to be and how do you want to feel this time next year?

You do realise that his silent treatment now is yet another form of emotional abuse.

How old are you now?.

Why are you with him at all?. Can you actually answer that question?. And what Another20 wrote as well, how did this character manage to hook you into his life with his mad as a box of cut snakes mother?.

His relationship history is indeed appalling. Why do you think these other women left him?. What makes you any different from them now?.

And why do you want to discuss anything with him?. Its a complete waste of time. He is in a codependent relationship with his mother.

I’m mid thirties and he is mid forties.

I’m not really sure anymore why I’m with him. We used to have such a good time together but now I just find him a bit repulsive.

I think your last sentence tells you everything you need to know.

Run ...run for the hills

I married a man who had mother warning flags in neon ...it was horrendous

I don't regret it because I wouldn't have my two DC but I promise you it's not something to get into if you can walk away now

Run lovely

His mother has clearly nurtured him as a golden child, and it sounds as though there is an Oedipus complex thrown in as well. Bitty definitely comes to mind.

😱
Super weirdo!!! Yukk

I feel sad/worried when I read these sort of threads!
My ds is 14, I was a lone parent for some years and as his Dad is largely absent, he is very close to me. I'm a very loving, cuddly mum by nature but my older dd eventually became less physically attached to me and we now are close but not necessary overly affectionate!
Ds shows no signs of this, he openly adores me, loves snuggling up and is very sweet with me, never a day goes by without him telling me how much he loves me etc
To me he's still my baby but I'm acutely aware he's a young man (and I treat him like one!) and do wonder if I should be encouraging him to be less attached to me?! Will he become one of 'those men'? I want him to be happy and to be a great partner (and not drive his dp to pouring their heart out on here!)

Are you Sam Faires?!

I’m not Sam Faires. I actually had to google the reference. I’m assuming she is going out with someone who is close to his mother?

Are you Sam Faires?!

You've been with him for "a few years" and he's never said he loves you? Sweetie, that is dreadful, and indicative of something broken at the core of him. Walk away, lovely, and find a real man who cares about you.