Please help - I really think my marriage is being destroyed by snoring

[Zwars]

I don’t know what else I can do. I’ve tried:

Sprays
Lozenges
Nose clips
Mouth guards
Diet experimentation
Acupuncture
Gp (who was very dismissive - just looked at me and said “well you don’t have a thick neck”)
Some horrible contraption that made me look like a medieval peasant with toothache

What can I do? I haven’t always snored and I haven’t put on any significant amount of weight (and am a normal height/weight/bmi). Is there some sort of surgery I can have? Dh has the patience of a saint but it’s not fair on him.

Is separate rooms an option ?

See another GP within your GP practice. Hopefully that person will not be so dismissive of you. This needs to be investigated properly.

My dh snores and he's tried bugger all, so bless you OP for trying.

I wear earplugs. Since I learned the best way to put them in (reach round with your opposite hand pull your ear away from your head slightly then push in earplug) it's been much better.

Get an epap machine. They aren't cheap but make all the difference. I don't know if you can get them on the NHS.

An old boyfriend had one after going to a sleep clinic and went from walrus deafening snoring to nothing. Bliss.

Have you investigated as to the possibility that you might have a sinus issue? See the gp as soon as you can. Snoring is very hard on your heart.

Have you altered your sleeping position? More/less pillows, sleep in stomach, that kind of thing? No alcohol diet?

Earplugs are the marriage saver here.

Get a new mattress. We just splashed out on a new bed, had to get a very firm mattress to help with my back pain. Bizarrely the very first night, dp stopped snoring and has rarely snored since. He says it's like sleeping on a wooden door but honestly, it's bliss. No snoring, reduced back pain.

Please have a sleep study done, my dh isn't a natural candidate for sleep apnea of you look at him, but his internal physiology means he has it. Now that it's been treated it's made such a difference to both of us!

You need to ask for a second opinion and a referral to a sleep clinic. My DH is a terrible snorer and I was at the end of my tether with it. We were referred to our local hospital and, after an initial consultation, he was was put under with general anaesthetic to check he does snore (some people make it up so that they can sleep in separate rooms from their partner). They also checked what type of snoring it was - there are two types. The first one is where the soft palate vibrates and this can be helped by it being scarred with a laser. This scarring stops the vibration of the soft tissue. The second type is where the jaw falls back and this is corrected by having a snoring device made (which looks like a gumshield) that you wear at night. My DH was the second type and had a gumshield made that was specifically fitted to him. It is brilliant and works really well.

Hello yes we've tried all of those...! Is worse with alcohol. Ear plugs (for me) have worked well as I'm a light sleeper

And a Simba mattress

wax earplugs and a fan in your room which is quite loud - but background noise.

I'm a very light sleeper, but with these measures, I often don't wake even with a really loud thunderstorm overhead.

Also make sure you are asleep before partner comes to bed.

Ask your partner if they have noticed a particular position that makes it worse. My wife says I snore if I sleep on my back or my right but not on my left, so I try to fall asleep on my left, and if I move she wakes me and asks me to turn over.

Thank you very much for all your suggestions. I’ve only had a quick scan so far as just waiting to board a flight (long haul - will do my best not to fall asleep!).

You need to see another GP. One that bothers to take some seriously. It’s an evidenced fact that women get worse medical care overall so we have to be prepared to kick up a stink just to be heard.

Second - is it just snoring or has DH noticed ‘pauses’ in your breathing? The latter really really needs investigating as sleep apnea.

Finally, have you tried different sleep positions? My DH snores on his back, but not his side. You might need to use wedges to ‘train’ your body to stay in the right position for a while.

We had this problem. Husband was referred to sleep clinic by
GP. He now has a machine with a mask he wears at night which completely stops the snoring. This has made the biggest difference EVER. I can’t tell you how wonderful it is not to want to stab him because of the snoring. It was embarrassing going anywhere too as mere walls and doors didn’t stop the noise. But now all of that is over!!

Go to a different GP and get a referral.

I split up with my partner of six years when I was 27 and my snoring was definitely part of the problem, because we ended up in separate rooms (not to worry, it was a long time ago and he wasn't the one for me!)

I was referred to a sleep clinic by the GP. At the sleep clinic they put me under light GA and put a camera down my throat to see what was happening. I had too much soft tissue and so the treatment was a radical tonsillectomy with the removal of other bits and bobs too (I don't have much of a uvula - dangly bit - left). This was good as I was also suffering from recurrent tonsillitis every couple of months.

The recovery was two weeks off work and a scratchy throat for a while after that. But my snoring has improved a lot and is only terrible now if I have a heavy cold. It helps if I sleep on my side too - I got into the habit of sleeping on my left side during pregnancy and that has stuck.

I have been with my current partner five years and he hasn't kicked me out of bed yet...

Do you think he will leave you soon? Doesnt sound like it..

My dh has had a Procedure done UPPP procedure I think it’s called.

en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Uvulopalatopharyngoplasty

It’s absolutely turned his sleeping and snoring around. Very painful tho

CPAP machine definitely worth a try. Just ask for a sleep study. They may give a questionnaire to see how tired you get during a typical day. Sleep apnea is a common cause of snoring whether a person is overweight or a smoker or whatever. CPAP has changed our lives!

Have a look at this website, it will help you identify if it's sleep apnoea in which case a CPAP is magic, but it won't work if it isn't.
britishsnoring.co.uk/snoring_&_sleep_apnoea/what_is_sleep_apnoea.php

Yes the UPPP sounds like what I had done - I guess it was painful but I had a whole bag of medicine to take home after the operation including tramadol and diazepam (Valium), so I was pretty out of it and didn't seem to mind...

Have you tried a custom-fit oral device? My DH snores and is fine using a self-fit one. But the company who make his (Snoreeze) have just launched a custom-fit oral device so it fits in your mouth perfectly. They send you a kit to make your dental impressions etc and then make it from that, it's called the LabFit.

Generally oral devices are really great for snoring - the NHS recommends them. It might be a case that you didn't mould/adjust your first oral device properly? Have a look on their website www.snoreezeoraldevice.com

You need to get referred to a sleep clinic.
Theres a good possibly you have sleep apnea. Most likely youll get the CPAP and itll be a life changer for you!