Hi mumsnet
I'll get straight in, met this guy at work he seemed nice we went on a couple of dates didn't speak for ages. Meet up again round a year later another few dates sleep together, I fall pregnant and in this time find out he has two other kids (he admits this after we sleep together, although I did suspect from before and kept asking him). I then have a missed miscarriage and lose my job. He offers to take me away to make up for the fact that he left me alone whilst going through the miscarriage, to take my mind off not having a job and all the stress basically. Whilst away we argue, end up having our first physical altercation in the hotel room and he kicks me out literally knowing I have no where to go. There has been so much that has happened between now and then but I'm trying to create the picture of how things were in the relationship. Basically this weekend everything came to a head, we had moved out together a couple of months ago and to cut a long story short I now don't live at the flat I took out for us and have left my home city that's how bad things have gotten. I really thought I was being strong but I'd be lying if I said I didn't miss him. Or at least the nice him or the him I thought I knew. I miss his voice, his smell, his laugh, just everything. I feel so lost & I'm trying really hard not to contact him, I know everyone will be disappointed in me if I do, he probably won't want to speak to me anyway. I don't even know what to say the whole thing is embarrassing.