Feel so low, should I leave DH

[itsme18]

For the past couple of months I have been feeling so low, crying all the time for no reason, feeling sad.
Bit if background; married with 3 children aged 9,7,4. Lovely husband who does so much for the children and words full time.

I feel like I can't cope anymore and I feel awful saying this but the children are making my life a misery. I feel like I want to leave my husband so we can have share the children just so I can get a break.
Not sure why I'm writing on here but honestly don't know what to do. Should I leave husband, but I don't even have a reason, everything was fine before we had children

Do you think you are depressed? Could you have a chat with your GP about how you have been feeling? Ending your marriage because you feel you need a break from the children doesn’t seem like the right solution. If you felt better able to cope with the children, would you still want to end your marriage?

You have all the hallmarks of depression, you aren’t as trapped as you feel and you should make no rash decisions just now.

Make an appointment with your gp first thing tomorrow.

Tell them what you’ve just told us and they will help you

I agree you sound depressed. Possibly PPD? I don’t think leaving will help. A single parent has more on their shoulders, not less. Please consider seeing your GP.

Thanks so much for replying.
Yes I think I am depressed but not sure about taking medication. Just don't know what to do, don't see an end to feeling like this. I don't even think I would be happy if I ended my marriage.

You sound depressed so why not see your GP and talk through symptons.

Depression can happen to anyone at any time. It could be that your life is not in balance and talking therapies will help.

I am going to make an appointment with gp tomorrow. I never used to feel like this it only started around 4 months ago and I can't even work out a trigger. Just can't stop crying and feel so hopeless.
Thank you all for replying.

I think you should see your gp and have a full physical with blood panels done. You are definitely depressed and it could be the result of many different things. You could have hormonal problems, severe vitamin deficiency, thyroid problems, etc, all of which can make you feel completely out of sorts. I truly hope you start feeling better very soon.

Talk to your GP and don't rule out medication off hand. I went on it for a while and can honestly say it changed my life. I wouldn't hesitate to go on it again if I fell back into that awful pit of despair. I know its hard to see the light when you're like this but I was like you and it definitely can get better. I got some counselling too. Look after yourself and reach out to those who can help you.

Oh, and don't make any life changing decisions when you feel like this.

Sounds like depression to me, you should book in and see your gp. Be really honest with how you're feeling to them. Even write it down and pass it to him/her if you don't feel able to say it or say it.

You also need to be totally honest with your husband about how overwhelmed you feel.

Good luck op, you are not the first woman to have these feelings and you won't be the last. There is no shame in feeling low. 💐💐💐

Be proud of yourself for seeing help. I think it’s a brave and wonderful thing to do for yourself and your family.

I used to feel like that, OP, crying all the time for 'no reason' and just unable to feel the love I had for others, seeing no point in anything ...

I now take a low dose of antidepressant. It has changed my life for the better. Took about 3 weeks to take effect. Don't be scared of medication when you're depressed: one of the symptoms is often a belief that nothing will help, there is no point, blah blah... but don't listen to yourself! It will help, there IS a point, you can and will lose this terrible bleak hopelessness about yourself.

Good luck. The sun will come out again for you.

Thank you so much for all of your lovely replies. I feel a little hopeful after reading that medication can help. I will definitely make an appointment tomorrow with my gp

Op if you broke a bone you would get it set, fixed and take pain relief, or if you were a diabetic you would have insulin injections. Depression is a chemical imbalance, antidepressants are formulated to correct that imbalance. You have nothing to feel embarrassed about. Talk to your gp, get the correct medication and maybe ask for a counselling referral.

I’m so glad you’ve made the appointment. Do try to explain to your DH how you feel, not as a stick to beat him with, but because you’re a partnership he he needs to know you need extra love and reassurance x

If your down because your life sucks -that is not depression.If you have a good life but are still feeling empty and miserable-that is depression

If you dont want to take medication as such speak to your doc about herbal remedies such as St John's worths, and make sure your getting a break everyday, some you time, you have to recharge the batteries or they go flat. All the best hun xx

Can I add that parenting is very hard and some bits of it are more enjoyable. The middle bit really dragged for me. When your oldest gets more towards the teen years you may well enjoy it more. My teens are very hard work. They are also very funny and very loving (when not throwing strops). Also you kind of see big steps at a later age. My oldest just passed her driving test and bought her own car...am so proud. But...ashamed to say I found pre-teens less rewarding. Always loved them but I did not find them as great company as I do now. Parenting is tough...do be forgiving of yourself.

I don't get it because I do have the 'perfect' life. Lovely husband, house, part time job that fits around everything, supportive friends and parents. I have nothing to be depressed about.

Honestly today has been a bad day, not stopped crying, so hard trying to not let the children see me )-:

I said that too years ago when I was depressed. Remember that depression isn’t caused by being sad about your life, it’s the other way around as it’s an imbalance that affects the way you feel. The link below has a great explaination.

www.psychiatry.org/patients-families/depression/what-is-depression

Thann you so much joysmum for that link. It was really helpful. I really hope I can start medication and it will work

I've been depressed with the perfect life. Lovely DH, lovely DC, lovely everything. Depression is a bastard.

My GP said depression is one of the cruelest illnesses because it's the only one that makes you think it's your fault for having it.

Write it down if you don't think you'll be able to talk. Bullet points is fine. GPs see it all the time. Be gentle with yourself. This too will pass.

I understand how you feel. On my lowest days, I feel like calling it a day with my marriage.
Do you have anyone in rl to talk too? I also agree about seeing gp. It maybe, you just need some antidepressants for a short time.

I've woke up today and the thought of the day ahead has me in tears. I really don't know why. I think I'm going to go to my mums and tell her how I feel and then to the doctors. Really hope I start to feel better but right now can't see that happening. I never used to be like this

One of the symptoms of depression is that the morning is the worst. I used to feel completely unable to face the day. It gradually improved over the day. Not that I was ok by bedtime, but it wasn't quite so bad. So maybe it's depression.

Good luck, OP. Get yourself to the GP.