Could you forgive this?

[sleepy18]

DH has just thrown my bowl of cereal all over me, he then threw the baby's bowl of breakfast over me too. It was over a petty argument, I didn't raise my voice at all and he just completely lost it.
It's the first time he's done something physical like that, but he does have a bad temper on him and has often flown into a verbal rage.
Could you forgive this? He did it in front of our baby. I'm worried it might be the start of something if I do forgive it. His Dad used to hit his Mum.

Leave.

When you are over the virus, make plans to leave. Anything other than leaving is the wrong choice.

I plan to leave when I can think straight again. We are still at his Cousin's who doesn't work so is at home with us, so me and baby are safe for the moment x

If you do not report the incident, withholding your child, and his threats to the police, there is no record that it ever happened. This WILL escalate, and if you are to protect yourself & the baby, there needs to be a paper trail of his abuse in order to assess his risk & suitability to co-parent. Don't ignore the advice given by others here - these women have walked in your shoes, and they know how it ends.

I'm sorry to hear this. This will escalate and get worse, he will gas light u to convince u that u are over reacting and therefore training u to under react as his behaviour escalates. He is using your kid against u to make u stay, u will begin to worry that if u left u wud lose the baby etc. Go see women's aid xx

Can your parents pick you up from there on the quiet? He is unlikely to do anything in front of his cousin surely?

I'm so sorry. Another one adding to the voices saying leave. This will only get worse, stay safe and good luck. And yes to reporting to the police. PLEASE do this. I am so so glad I reported my ex when he first attacked me, it made getting him out of the house much easier some years later (because, inevitably, it had got worse).

Ccelia with respect this woman does not need counselling or any other encouragement to stay with this man. He threw cereal all over her, twice, which also means it wasn’t a completely spontaneous and instantly regretted act. She has also stated that he frequently flies into verbal rages. The OP needs to leave this man until he seeks his own long term treatment to deal with his angry and abusive behaviour. There is a baby in the middle of all this.

@Ccelia your post breaches Mumsnet guidelines and is entirely inappropriate. I've reported you.

No. Get out. Now.

My ex DP used to fly into verbal rages with me too. This escalated into physical anger when he threw his dinner at me one night.

He said it was because he loved me so much that i made him crazy. I forgave him.

It was the worst thing I ever did.

I managed to escape after 3.5 years of daily violence when he beat me so badly that I needed to be put into an induced coma and spent 3 weeks in intensive care.

Take your baby and run. It only gets worse from now on.

You must get out now. Take your baby and run.
There is no coming back from this.
My father was physically violent and abusive towards my mum, my childhood is littered with incidents like this. Please leave.
Call the police as well, log this, it will help you protect yourself and you baby.

What a pig. Leave.

This is just horrible behaviour from your husband. Disgusting in fact.

I’m so sorry, I have been with someone like this too. I fear it will escalate as it did with me.

I made the mistake of staying with this kind of man for a short few years. It got worse and worse.

I just hope you’re ok and have good family and friends to talk to. Don’t put up with this kind of behaviour like I stupidly did xx

Stay strong op. Get well soon

What @bluetrampolines said gave me the chills. That is a terrifying thought.

Lots of posters recommend women's aid who can advise you of where to turn and help you will be entitled too.

Such an awful experience for you. I hope you access some help.

NO WAY! What an arsehole

This is how things started with me, throwing things, eventually it escalated. Get out while you can and please don’t pass it off as ‘not that bad’ or ‘he didn’t actually hit me’ because it will be and he will do. X

My auntie always says the time she should have left her ex, was when he threw a cup of tea over her. It was a petty argument about where to go for a day out, his defence “it wasn’t even hot”.
She didn’t go then and things got a lot worse before she fell finally did.
But that’s the moment she thinks something switched and although he’d always been ‘angry’ and they argued, that was when he realised she’d wouldn’t leave or tell anyone and it paved the way for the violence to increase.

Please record with police. Make plans to leave.
The fact he is minimising what he did (twice) is absolutely a dead give away of his entrenched attitude /delusion/denial.
It won't get better.
When I read threads like this I sometimes wish there was a magic phrase that I could say that would make it all clear. We don't have a crystal ball to see the future but the masses of experienced women (myself included) on here know with almost absolute certainty it will escalate. This website is a good resource. www.abuseandrelationships.org/Content/Basics/escalation.html

How are you op?