Could you forgive this?

[sleepy18]

DH has just thrown my bowl of cereal all over me, he then threw the baby's bowl of breakfast over me too. It was over a petty argument, I didn't raise my voice at all and he just completely lost it.
It's the first time he's done something physical like that, but he does have a bad temper on him and has often flown into a verbal rage.
Could you forgive this? He did it in front of our baby. I'm worried it might be the start of something if I do forgive it. His Dad used to hit his Mum.

Gosh, that's awful! It can only get worse I'm afraid. Sorry you've experienced this, like others have said I'd be making plans to end it.

Please call 101. I did and they were really helpful. They will log this and either come out to you, or make an appointment to come and see you when he isn't there if you can get away. This needs to be logged so that he can see the extent of his anger and get some help. As PP said he could manage this with long term therapy. Otherwise, I am afraid that there is not much hope for him. Your baby girl is vulnerable and should NOT be witheld from you

Unforgivable. This would be the end of the road.

It sounds like you can’t talk to him and he won’t let you have space / leave / let you leave.
Is there any one you can go to? Friend/ family?
Quietly and discreetly pack a few things for you and the baby in a bag. Pop the bag in the bottom of the park and take the baby down to the shops “to get milk”.

Call a taxi and get them to pick you up down the road and get the hell out of there.

If he takes your baby off you and won't hand her back, you call the police. No question.

Why are you asking this and not packing his bags?!

No I would not forgive this

If he takes your baby off you and won't hand her back, you call the police. No question

The police won’t be interested. If he’s the father he has as much right to the baby as the mother. They won’t do anything

No. I would be leaving with baby as soon as possible. I’d cal 101 now - he threw some bowls of cereal at you is abuse and you are afraid. Can you call a friend to come over?

Get out. They don't change, except to get worse.

"Thanks, he's making out I'm being dramatic so needed to hear it from someone else."

So he doesn't even see anything wrong with his behaviour? No, I wouldn't be able to forgive or forget.

No. His behaviour isn't normal. It isn't acceptable and now he is minimising what he has done.

Do you get on well with his cousin, if so can you ring them and ask them to come and pick you and baby up, he won't play up and show off in front of someone else, he is a bully and a coward.

The police won’t be interested. If he’s the father he has as much right to the baby as the mother. They won’t do anything

They will be interested that he is also a perpetrator of domestic violence.

I agree about calling the police.

Go to the shop for something, call the police on the way. Depending what they say, plan your next step or come back here for advice.

Make it seem normal, if you do go out. Let him think it's done for now.

Don't ever trust him again.

Seriously call 101. I did for escalating emotional abuse and screaming in my face - calling me a cunt etc. They told me I did absolutely the right thing when I was apologetic to them and they have all his abusive behaviour logged...although I now have children's sevices involved, but we are going through a very acrimonious split. The 'going to the shops' thing is a great ruse

How are you op

How scary, I really hope you are okay.

I know we are just internet strangers but please update if you have the chance. Reading what he did was really worrying, especially the remorseless way he was acting afterwards; he seems to be really intent on intimidating you and making you feel like you have no options and no control over how he treats you (which you don’t) - this is how abusers act.

I hope you leave him quickly, your DD deserves a better home than one with a man like that in it

No not had that in 25 yrs of marriage...sounds like assault to me 💐

Jesus, I'm divorced and I never had to put up with anything like that. I would leave for far less.

I wouldnt forgive it. It will escalate, you know it will. Start looking for an escape route. Being on your own with your lovely little one is better than being with him, and waiting on tenterhooks for him to start on you again.

Hope you and baby is okay OP

Thinking of you OP, this is a rough, tough time for you

You've got me worried, Sleepy18. I'll be waiting for your update.

Run!

I can’t advise getting out of that situation strongly enough. You need to safeguard yourself and your daughter.

At worst it may shake some sense into him, if he believes you’re isolated and he has control over you he’ll continue to treat you this way. I think it’s unlikely he’ll change though so I really would just get out of that situation, for your daughters sake.

Good luck x

Please call womens aid. If he is like this with you there us a good chance he will be like this with your daughter. You should consider reporting it to the police as domestic violence (its battery to throw a bowl of cereal over someone like that) so that you have a paper trail but consider the possibility the thus may encourage him to escalate further. In your position I would start getting ready to leave so when you feel you should you can.

Thanks everyone. I ended up going with him to his Cousins as couldn't see another option.
We then both got a really bad case of Novovirus within a few hours of arriving and have been severely unwell since! Cousin has been looking after baby for us, just starting to feel better now so will speak to my parents and come up with a plan on what to do next. Haven't eaten in 2 days and barely drank so not enough energy to do anything at the moment, really bad timing!