I've just found a kik account on my husbands phone

[Mammyofonlyone]

Help, I feel sick.
I heard on here about kik and how it was used by people having affairs so I looked at my husbands phone to see if he had it. I was not expecting him too, the only reason I looked is because he is being uncharacteristically nice (as in reeeaallly nice, most of the time he is just normal nice).
Anyhow, I found he had the account. There was one thread from a person, called Sophia in April and May. All the conversation was one sided and there was no response showing. There were maybe eight comments. It was a fairly 'filth' sexual conversation, not suggesting that they'd had sex but a very sexual conversation nonetheless.
I don't know what to do

This was me 2 years ago. I found Kik on my DHs phone, did a bit of digging, found he was chatting to other women. I never found what about (but I’m not that stupid). He wouldn’t let me look-so that answered a lot of questions.
We stayed together, because like you I didn’t want to end my marriage/break my family.
Honestly-it eats at me regularly.
I can go weeks and be fine then out of the blue it hits me again. I snoop periodically, but never find anything (because he’s probably just better at hiding it). Other times I tell myself I chose to stay so stick my head in the sand. Can’t say I recommend it, but it’s what I have chosen to do and there is no right or wrong way if dealing with it-just do it your way

Thank you everyone for your support, I was honestly expecting more people to tell me I was doing the wrong thing and that I should leave him.
I know choosing to stay isn't ideal, but for me it's the best thing to do. Obviously I will remain aware and keep checking up on him. He has offered to install that app that allows us to track each other's phones so that I can know where he is at at any time so that's a start, and I know he will let me look at his phone again when I ask. I'm just so sad it's come to this, I don't want to be a paranoid wife.
Milkshake, that you for your message. I wouldn't wish this on anyone but at the same time I appreciate you letting me know I'm not the only one who this has happened to and who chose to stay. It is so horrid, I'm sorry for your experience too.

Without trust, there is no relationship. If you need to install surveilance tech on each other’s phones, it really is a grim state of affairs. Go find yourself a nicd bloke OP who doesnt send sordid messages to strangers. They do exist you know.

I'm so sorry you are going through this OP. I think it's easy for others to tell you to leave. They don't have the emotional ties with your DH or the otherwise happy lifestyle that you would feel like you are ending.
Having said that will it still feel the same knowing what you know now? I think only time will tell. Sometimes people think they have to make a decision straight away. You don't. Give it time if you choose to stay for now it doesn't mean you can't end it further down the line.
One thing I do hope is if you stay together you can rebuild the trust. As I do think lack of trust can be toxic in a relationship.

I chose to stay after finding messages like this. A few months later I found he’d carried on. I chose to stay. A few months later I found he’d been actually meeting women too as well as his messages. For the kids, I chose to stay. A few months later I found he’d been having affairs all over the place. With hindsight, I would have left at finding the first messages.

Btw Omegle (in my experience) is a website not an app, so he could be finding his women there, or any chat site really. It’s easy enough.

Most married guys on sites like fab swingers use kik.

Doesn't look good Op

If you want to try to keep your marriage going then don’t talk to any friends or family about it. You have to be able to draw a line under it and both start as you mean to go on.
I don’t think you should end your marriage without at least trying to salvage it.

Thanks choca, good advice. Will be easier said than done I think but that's my plan

Remember that he broke the trust and he needs to rebuild it. If he thinks he can slide back into old patterns or that it’s your job then you should reconsider your decision. You also need to be able to talk about it when you need- that’s part of the cost to him of his actions. You could phrase it as you need to talk to someone, would he rather it be your mum / friends?

It doesn't sound like he got very far or used it much by what you've said. Hopefully the shock of you catching him has made him realise what he was doing

He might let you check his phone - but be aware he might get a second one and stash it away somewhere (like his car).

That's what I'm hoping for myself. And it would feel wrong to give up on my marriage if there is hope.
I've considered him using another phone, it's in my radar going forwards

Girl RUN!!
Trust me when I say I get that you don't want to end the marriage and a;; that.
It never gets better, they just get better at hiding it.
I have spent 6 years with my darling husband. I had no idea what kik was, when I saw an email about his account getting a message, he told me that his account had gotten hacked. Of course I believed him, why not, right? Only those messages kept coming, so one night I grabbed his phone to look. Oh Boy!! Funny how his hacked account appeared on his phone. Even better was all the pictures being sent to and from. While you want to saw well maybe they were just "talking", the profile pictures of most of these women are topless boobs. I am sure meaningful conversations was the first thought on his mind when he started chatting them up. The crazy amount of dick pictures he was sending out... it was unreal.
Sure he will tell you that he will never ever do it again... mine did. And it was true, he never ever used that kik username again, he moved to a new one. He was also on Tagged, and Craigslist. He was every where looking for women. I know what you are asking, how did such a great husband find time to cheat so much. Well I found out that he wasnt working, he was lying to me about not getting paid for painting jobs, he would start it up as soon as I left for work, he would disappear for long periods of time in the bathroom, or he would be so sweet and make me a bath while he watched the kids.
I wish it would have just stopped with the cheating, it moved onto drugs. Oh yeah KiK is great if you have a meth problem and need a new dealer, or need to find other junkies who are willing to trade sex for meth. I didn't believe it until I saw the video he made with one of the junkies he found on kik.
Again I was believing him, letting him gaslight me about how I didn't trust him, how he was very hurt by me not willing to take his word.
I went along with him believing I was a terrible wife, that if we had more sex, he wouldnt be cheating... that if I spent more time with him, he wouldnt be cheating. I started sneaking his phone at night, like the crazy person he told all these women I was. I found out that he was telling them he was divorced, had a great job, has a home and a car. Funny, he was married, had no job, it was my home and my car.
I found a pink hoodie in my car, he told me it must be one of my kid's friends... nah, it was the kids' daycare teachers hoodie, he was sleeping with her too. Oh yeah, he was even lying to the women who cared for our young kids, the embarrassment once you find out. Even better when you learn that the sexy nudes you had taken for your loving husband who just begged you to send them to him... oh yeah he was posting them online in a nude selfie kik group. It was only later when I really looked at the images that I found some that I questioned if the girls were anywhere near 16 years old.
What was the final push for me?? Because yes, I would keep kicking him out and taking him back- cause you know he "loved" me. It was when I started getting phone calls and facebook messages from his girlfriends. They started looking me up, many were enraged that I had "ruined" his life and taken his kids from him. One woman screamed at me for keeping him trapped in a loveless marriage and she hoped I would just die so they could finally get married. I had a couple threaten to harm me and my family. The two that stand out? Just happened recently as in the past 30 days, again my ex has been kicked to the curb for awhile as in over 6 months, but I had a actual drug dealer felon who has had a large number of weapons charges blow up my facebook and my cell with messages telling me how it doesnt matter that I took him back, cause he is never going to change, that he loved her. The worse? The drugged out meth tweaker who showed up at my home, banging the hell out of my door demanding to see the darling husband because he will always hook her up when she "hooks" him up. My teenage son was home babysitting when that trainwreck showed up and he had to call the cops to get her to leave.
KIK isn't for married people, its for people who was easy access to sex, drugs and other illegal things. People do make mistakes, but after the first osp gee sorry, it is now a lifestyle choice.

Kik is for people who don’t want to be traceable via their phone

Simple as that

I’m really sorry OP

Is kik always for cheating? My husband had it on his phone last year and i believed it to be a sex app. His phone just buzzed on the side. I cant open phone because he has a fingerprint on it. But on the main screen are messages from a kik group popping up. Is he up to no good again too?

I don’t think you should end your marriage without at least trying to salvage it

^ Really?

It's no problem if you decide OP that you are okay with your husband cheating on you and lying to you. Either that's as much as you think you deserve, or you're just very broad-minded about sex with other people as part of marriage. But please don't kid yourself that you don't really know what he's done because you have seen the proof and I'm sure you know he will do it again. He, presumably, will make a little effort not to get caught so easily in future. Is this as much as you think you are worth?

Fucking hell, August!

thecatsarecrazy

Can I suggest you start your own thread. This one is old and posters will just reply to the original post x