I've just found a kik account on my husbands phone

[Mammyofonlyone]

Help, I feel sick.
I heard on here about kik and how it was used by people having affairs so I looked at my husbands phone to see if he had it. I was not expecting him too, the only reason I looked is because he is being uncharacteristically nice (as in reeeaallly nice, most of the time he is just normal nice).
Anyhow, I found he had the account. There was one thread from a person, called Sophia in April and May. All the conversation was one sided and there was no response showing. There were maybe eight comments. It was a fairly 'filth' sexual conversation, not suggesting that they'd had sex but a very sexual conversation nonetheless.
I don't know what to do

I wouldn't trust him but keep at him don't let it lie you deserve the truth .he'll cave in if the pressures on .much as you love him don't let him get away with it even if no sex was involved the thought was there and that's enough .

Kik goes hand in hand with a website called omegle, omegle is a random chat generating website, you can get paired with anyone, its generally used for sex chat. Most people give kik usernames and continue chatting on kik
Nothing good comes from kik. Its a cheats dream, an app that can be deleted and reinstalled when needed, no phone number, totally anonymous.
But chances are whoever he is talking to will be a stranger who he was paired with on omegle
Easier than leaving a trace on dating sites etc

If you can get his phone check his skype if he has it. I had an ex partner who was finding random people on chat rooms then using kik to talk to
them initially then going on webcam with them via skype!

Kik is very different to WhatsApp

WhatsApp you have to swap numbers, kik is just a user name and untraceable (sign up with an email address)

I've checked for Omegle and Skype and he doesn't have either of those so that's a good thing.
I really don't want this to end our marriage but I'm unsure how to move forward

Set up your own cheating account

Get rid of the cheat

Brush it under the carpet and book yourself in for that lobotomy

Those are your options

Everything that AF says above
and get an STI check

You said he isn’t normally nice in your first post. That doesn’t sound like the happy Home you are trying to reclaim in later posts. Be realistic. I’m sorry you are going through this.

Omegle is a website that can be cleared from internet history, and Skype is an app that can be deleted from phone also.
This man has been talking inappropriately to someone on a secret app
He has ended the marriage not you

Faerie op said her h is being 'extra nice' as opposed to 'normally nice'.

To me this is cheating, so any repercussions are 100% something he chose when doing it. In choosing to message this woman he was also choosing to end his marriage or whatever does happen with you two. Not one iota of blame is on you op.

Did the dates match with him being away OP? Has he agreed to free access of his phone from now on?

It’s the lying that would have made me boot him out if I’m honest. I don’t see how you can come back from that.

Sorry to read this.

How are you?

I am so sorry that this has shattered your normally happy home OP. Having no experience of this type of thing I have no nuggets of advice to give but want you to know you have my sympathy

Thanks cheggars, I appreciate that. It's funny, I had been thinking recently how lucky I was to have such a nice life and half telling myself it was too good t be true.

I feel confused and sad and a bit angry that him having done something so stupid that has now caused such a big problem in our marriage. I mainly just want to cry

I am trying to extract myself from a horrible, abusive relationship so I really love to hear about people who are genuinely happy and love each other. Maybe it's not too good to be true? He could've been tempted and not gone any further. The lying is unforgivable though. I hope you can get to the bottom of this and salvage your happiness - with him or without

I think you have to get tougher op or he'll walk all over you.

I don't know how to get tougher. I don't want my marriage to end. He says it was nothing more than messaging so I guess I have to choose to believe him if I want to remain in the marriage. I may well be being a fool. I'm just so sad and hurt and confused that I don't know what to do for the best.
I feel too embarrassed to talk to any of my friends in real life, I'm wondering about talking to his mother about it though. I think she could be a good sounding board as she herself was cheated on but also knows her son better than anyone

I think you need some time alone to think OP. Coukd he move out for a couple of days so that you can clear your head? It’s going to be very hard to sort out how you feel if here’s there with you. He’s already proved that he has no problem lying to you and may just keep on lying if he thinks it means that’ll you’ll stick around.

I think you need to summon up some courage to protect yourself. Ask him to leave for at least 2 nights, if he wants to go to his DM, you may need to tell her why he’s there if he won’t.

Op can you remember her username? If you can, type it into google, she may have an Instagram account or something with the same username which may help you figure out who she is. That could be really bad advice but it's just what I would do. Sorry you are going through this x

Has he given you access to his phone OP? I know it would be upsetting but could you reinstall the app and do some screenshots then send them to yourself?

Have you got him on Findmyfriends?

Your DH says it’s just messaging. Ask him how he would feel if you had sent those messages to another man. 🌺🌺

I have been on a few dating or FWB sites and a very high percentage of men who wanted to chat via Kik rather than WhatsApp were married. They didn't want to share a phone number because they were obviously hiding contact. A phone number can often be linked to FB profiles too so he may not want to be found on social media.

Even though I had made it clear in my profile that I would not a married man, so many conversations went like this.

Some chatting (if I liked them)
Him: Want to chat on Kik
Me: I don't use Kik only WhatsApp. Can we chat on there
Him: I can't /don't want to share mobile etc
Me: You aren't married or in a relationship are you?
Him: Actually I am
And that would be the end of my conversation with them. I've never heard of the site a PP mentioned earlier

Please note I am not saying all men who use Kik are cheaters because maybe some don't want to give out their number early on. However there's a very high percentage of cheaters who do use Kik for reasons mentioned above.

Sophia sounds like the name an Eastern Europe’s escort would use.

Almost certainly the tip of the ice berg this. But, if you’re resigned to staying, best get used to it.