Hi ladies. Pleased to meet you all. I'm new to mumsnet andI am so glad I am on here as I am virtually alone.
I am finally pregnant after many years of trying and thousands of pounds leaving my account (my husband did not contribute). My husband is, as I am finding out a narcassist.
I was carrying twins. In week 8 I sat on the loo almost 2 hours bleeding heavily and after various A&E visits and EPU it was confirmed I lost one and the other remains. I am now 11 weeks today.
On week 9 (exactly 7 days after the miscarriage) my husband was due to fly to Sydney to see his parents with his 13 and a half year old daughter from his ex. He had a massive arguement with me because I asked him to tell his parents and familyy the truth as to why i wasn't flying with him (he booked the flights 7 months earlier for him and his kid, and if I didn't pay for my flight again (I pay for 90% of al hols) i wasn't invited and in 4 years of marriage, non of his family had ever called me or spoken to me). Anway, as he left the house, ranting and raving, he told me to get out, to move back west with my parents and that half the house was his.
He was out there 2 and a half weeks. He did no call me once to see how i was or if his baby was doing well. I spent that time with horrendus morning sickness and didn't go out to drive to supermarket as I had fainted out of nowhere in the street 2 weeks before.
So, he arrived back to the UK on Sunday. I had cooked a meal and the house was spottless and all washing and ironing done. He ate the food but did not utter a word. It is now Friday and he has still not spoken to me. I am beyond despair. How can aman behave like that towards his wife and unborn child? He has cooked meals for himsef in the evenings and there is nothing for me when I get in from work at 8pm. He washes his own dishes but is petty enough to leave a spoon or plate I used in the sink.
All I do is cry. This is my first baby and will probably be my only child if God willing I carry my little bean full term. I live all the way out in east kent away from my family just so he could live near his daughter. My family live 60 miles away west London. I told the mid-wife of his emotional abuse. She said that if I need ti transfer my care I will need to start all of the process again with a new mid-wife in west london. I am loathed to burden my 70 year olf parents, I have no one going to appointments with me, no one asking how I am. Part of me thinks I should pack a bag and leave for good. Part of me is waiting for him to see sense and apologise but I know he never will as he is a narcisist.
His 13 year old was a mistake (and I know that sounds horrid, I don't mean it like that) - he got his ex pregnant and they had to marry to legitamise it. She then threw him out due to his anger issues when the daughter was 3. In my case, we have tried for a baby for 4 years, been to every clinic together. ... and now that I am pregnant, as his wife, he treats my like dirt on his shoe.
Has anyone else been through something like this?
xxxx Thank you for reading. Just needed to get this out even though it is over the airwaves. x