How to handle a disappearing reappearing man?

[NoraJonesss]

Here I am back with a depressing update.

I thought things were going great with New Man of 2 months. Went out on a fantastic date last Friday, I genuinely thought we were both really into each other and yada yada.

Think again

Haven't heard from him since Saturday morning. Nothing. No calls, no texts, no nothing. To be fair I did not reach out either, as after our date I felt a bit exposed and wanted to gauge if his interest was still there. In the past he tended to initiate contact more often than me, but lately it had been 50/50. So he reappeared this morning, when he texted me a breezy "how has your week been and what are your plans for the weekend".

Wtf?! How am I even supposed to handle such a treatment? Should I meet him and talk to him and explain why this is not acceptable ? Is it even worth doing that? Or just ignore his text and disappear myself? What is the etiquette in these situations?

Hope the bloke knows what he's letting himself in for... If it's only been two months and you've already been on MN moaning about it... Look at the language you used in your OP - "depressing" "wtf? how am I even supposed to handle such a treatment?" "should I explain why this is not acceptable"

I'm glad it seems to have resolved itself but seriously, it's a bit OTT for two months in.

I dont understand why people do the not texting back thing. I find it a bit false of people. At some point youre going to sink into your normal habbits. Ive never made a secret of the fact i can be an absolite text pest.

Im not some weird obsessed stalker. Just how some people are naturally more talkative.

Id sooner be honest about it than find out months in that they communicate way more or less than im comfortable with.

Have a good talk with him.

I can't believe you didn't even text him? Why one rule for one another rule for another?

It works both ways,maybe after your date this weekend YOU can text him to arrange the next one?

Hate when people think men should do all the chasing

Another who agrees with the OP.

I get where the “I feel sorry for the bloke” brigade are coming from but I am guessing they haven’t experienced the headfuck joys of online dating in recent years.

Two months in I’d be thinking WTAF?
Are you actually exclusive/dating or just going on dates? By two months you should be dating/ off dating platforms. If you don’t want anything serious it doesn’t matter but if you do and you haven’t “had the chat” you are wasting your time.

Go see him on Sunday by all means but proceed with extreme caution and def don’t sleep with him.]

I get where the “I feel sorry for the bloke” brigade are coming from but I am guessing they haven’t experienced the headfuck joys of online dating in recent years.

Indeed trojan

It works both ways,maybe after your date this weekend YOU can text him to arrange the next one?

Absolutely Magpie

I get where the “I feel sorry for the bloke” brigade are coming from but I am guessing they haven’t experienced the headfuck joys of online dating in recent years

Yes, I have. And women can be just as bad as men, believe me.

@trojanpony - yes I have also and I'm exclusive and very happy after 3 months, we've always communicated equally though, none of this "I'll sit and wait for him to text first" shit.

So you can take me out of the 'not having a clue' camp, thanks

Oh and I have also had a lot of experience with the head fucks on OLD

Shatnerswig I’m not saying women are wonderful flowers and men are turds...
Believe me I am in no doubt both sexes can be utter headwreckers...

The point i am making is people who haven’t been engaged in online dating in the last 3-4 years often don’t fully understand it.
Normal behavioural rules I.e. “how would a normal human behave in this situation” just don’t seem to apply.

It’s like upside down land half the time, with seemingly very nice, functioning members of society treating people horribly - leaving the other party bewildered and full of anxiety and self doubt thinking WTAF is wrong with me? And pondering thoughts like “When I die will I be eaten by my cat before they find my body? ”