Ex accused me of giving him a STI

[Electrascoffee]

We've been on and off. He hasn't treated me very well. He's moving out of the area. Stupidly I had sex with him the other night. It was all very nice and intense and then the next day he contacts me asking if I've slept with someone else because he's got abdominal pain and burning when weeing. I said no of course not. I also pointed out that he would be unlikely to get severe chlamydia symptoms within 6 hours of having sex with me even if I did have it. Which I don't think o do.

I feel as if he is accusing me of something even though I've done nothing. It's confusing. He said 'oh well you're more promiscuous than me' just because I've had more partners than him!!

He has acute pain in kidney area and keeps running for a wee. To me this sounds like cystitis, but oh no he's convinced I've given him a STI.

He is your ex. It doesn't matter what he thinks, the reasons for his thinking or whether he has chlamydia or any other medical condition.

All this STI nonsense is just more proof that finishing with him was the right decision.

Don't contact him. Block and move on.

*Send him a this message

'Thank you for letting me know of your STI, which according to the NHS becomes symptomatic 1-3 weeks after exposure. I shall be tested to see if you have infected me. I hope you have informed the person you had sex with in the 7-21 days when infection must have been passed to you.*

This is perfect.

Send this OP and then no further messaging.

STIs don't develop overnight. What a twat. Get yourself tested in a week or so.

NRTFT. Block and delete. Don't entertain him at all. But get yourself tested just to make sure. NHS testing takes a few days as we swan or use a urine test. It's not instant and those symptoms aren't absolute for chlamydia so in light of antibiotic resistance they would g treat blindly. He's talking bollocks.

I'm not going to stoop to his level by accusing him. I'm just not going to see him again. Basically, he's convinced that I cheated on him in the time between the World Cup finishing and last Monday (because those are the only two times we've had sex recently). He thinks that I infected him last Monday and he woke up with symptoms on Tuesday which, as you say is just not how it works.

He told me the doctor said he could have developed severe symptoms of chlamydia within 7 hours of infection I highly doubt it.

What a fruit loop. You are well shot of him.

There is no arguing with crazy. Just ignore, block and move on.

He's moved now and is 90 minutes away from me.

I should have seen he was like this before. One evening when I was out with him I was a bit tearful (this is rare for me) because a traumatic experience I had was playing on my mind. He berated me and said I was coming across as selfish and self absorbed and that he didn't need to hear it because he's an empath and other people's upset makes him feel bad.

He can just turn.

Guess what? All his tests came back clear 😡 there was never anything wrong with him

Tell him not to worry about infecting you again. From now on he can just go fuck himself.

Then BLOCK HIM!!!!

Tell him to go fuck himself, at least that way he won’t get an STD

There was never anything wrong with him but that wasn’t the point was it? He made you dance around stressing about it and trying to prove to him that you didn’t do anything wrong. It’s like an extreme form of negging. Whatever you do now, please resist the urge to go back to him saying ‘see, I told you I would never cheat on you!’ That’s exactly what he wants.

Have you seen the test results?
Maybe he’s trying to deny he is infected now you think he has deliberately infected you, because that it is illegal.

I've seen the test results. I knew in my heart that neither of us had anything.

Yes Lisa that is the point. If I stay with him I will end up ill. Literally.

He got a “good-bye” shag and he messed with your head at the same time.

Flippin' 'eck.
Is he a narcissist?
He sounds deranged.
I'm glad he's moved away.
Now block, ignore, delete.

I think his behaviour has definitely been narcissistic.

I can see why his family keeps him at arms length. None of them have any time for him - they left him to move house all on his own.

Looking back, he's been ramping up different dramas since the beginning.