Ex accused me of giving him a STI

[Electrascoffee]

We've been on and off. He hasn't treated me very well. He's moving out of the area. Stupidly I had sex with him the other night. It was all very nice and intense and then the next day he contacts me asking if I've slept with someone else because he's got abdominal pain and burning when weeing. I said no of course not. I also pointed out that he would be unlikely to get severe chlamydia symptoms within 6 hours of having sex with me even if I did have it. Which I don't think o do.

I feel as if he is accusing me of something even though I've done nothing. It's confusing. He said 'oh well you're more promiscuous than me' just because I've had more partners than him!!

He has acute pain in kidney area and keeps running for a wee. To me this sounds like cystitis, but oh no he's convinced I've given him a STI.

I never was in your situation but, in your place, the first thing I'd do is to test myself for any shit HE could have given you (since you didn't use the condom), and second - just get him out of your life.

He's now saying the doctor has told him he's definitely got chlamydia even though he can't have been tested and got the results yet. What do you make of this?

He's a cunt and is creating drama. Tell him good luck with the antibiotics and delete him.

That he slept with you unprotected despite knowing bloody well he had somehow contracted chlamydia. Twat.

gave it to you deliberately by the sounds of it.

I would get yourself tested and just ignore him going forwards. You admit yourself he hasn't treated you well, so don't give him the time of day.

It's a good thing he's moving out of area so you can move on from him.

I think you should stop having sex with him and block him from your life!

If he has gone to the doctor and there's any truth in his story then sometimes they treat before they get results. Which isn't quite the same as saying "Yes you have chlamydia".

Other option are:
He has it and already knew and had been tested!
He doesn't. He's lying because he's a fucking weirdo.

I assumed he was waaaay younger. What an odd man.

Sounds like he already knew he had it before he slept with you, and he’s trying to pre-emptively place the blame on you.

Don’t fall into the trap of trying to defend yourself against something so ridiculous. Just keep repeating ‘I am 100% certain that I do not have and have never had chlamydia. Whoever you got it from, it was not from me. Now please take your antibiotics and leave me alone.’

This guy sounds like very, very bad news. My friend had an ex like this, constantly accusing her of cheating on him based on completely random ‘evidence’ that didn’t even make sense. It’s a form of abuse and you should run like the wind.

He's a twat. An ex of mine accused me of this and when I got tested I was completely clean so he either got it from someone else or was lying to make me look bad.

Get tested and get him out your life.

He's now saying I owe him an apology for giving this to him. I told him to do one.

In the meantime I have had some unpleasant symptoms on Thursday and bleeding which the doctor has given me preemptive antibiotics for when I told her about this chlamydia situation.

Other weird things that don't add up;

He told me he had got tested for everything at a GUM clinic on Friday which actually doesn't open on Fridays at all.

He's been prescribed an antibiotic which I myself took a course of about a month ago for sinusitis. So in theory I can't have had it then.

I will be getting all the tests done tomorrow.

Just block him, why are you giving him headspace?!

Tell him youve been tested and are clear which means he is a lying dick face who tried to give you an sti and failed so go fuck off and then fuck off some more.

Or just block him.

Why am I giving him headspace? I don't know. It frustrates me that I am. I can't understand why anyone would act like this.

Isn’t knowingly exposing someone to an std, without telling them before sex, a crime?

I guess if you tell him you are considering going to the police he will leap in and get there first and it will be your word against his.

Isn’t it easier to get yourself fully checked out, then block him for good. He sounds like a twisted, nasty man, not someone to keep in your life.

No doctor would tell a patient they ‘definitely’ had something without test results. AFAIK, those results take a few working days to come through too. He’s talking out of his arse, probably has a urine infection if he has anything at all...

Why on earth would I go to the police? Tbh at this point there is no proof that either of us has anything. He's confused the hell out of me. Basically he's insecure about the fact that I've slept with more people than him before I met him. He thinks I'll go and sleep with someone else if we have problems. I do agreed that he's twisted.

He's convinced that he definitely has chlamydia because 'the pendulum says so'

He knew he had chlamydia and gave it to you. He's turned it around on you so he doesn't get the blame. Sounds like gaslighting is something he's done to you frequently.

Does he even have chlamydia though? Whilst I can see where you're coming from his pattern of behaviour is constantly ramping up dramas so we can kiss & make up later. I do think he is abusive but I don't think (although I can't be sure) that he has caught chlamydia from someone and knew about it. I've had some unpleasant symptoms too but the doctor said that might not be chlamydia. He has been in pain because I could tell. But I think he probably has prostatitis or something. And he's using this as an excuse to turn on me.

Is he a hypochondriac/anxious person generally? That’s the only reason I can think of for someone adding up those symptoms and diagnosing themselves with an STI so quickly. Unless he knows he has an STI, is worried he may have passed it to you, and is doing this to try to make you think you’ve given it to him rather than the other way around. I’d take it as a hint to get tested.

Well, you'll know if you have Chlamydia. You've been tested, yes?

It all sounds very suspicious to me, especially him actually saying chlamydia, not any old STD.

Oh yes, I've been tested for everything. The reason he thinks he has chlamydia is because I've had it years ago so he's seized upon it as the reason for the pains he's having.

Whether he has chlamydia or not, he sounds incredibly controlling. block him.

Send him a this message

'Thank you for letting me know of your STI, which according to the NHS becomes symptomatic 1-3 weeks after exposure. I shall be tested to see if you have infected me. I hope you have informed the person you had sex with in the 7-21 days when infection must have been passed to you.