Partner moving in, what do I charge?!

[WhatToDo00]

I own my own little house and have a 15yo DC, small mortgage of £300 pm plus the usual bills.

My partner doesn't own but has a largish inheritance.

I find talking about money really awkward and have no idea what I should expect/ask them to contribute towards the house once they move in but want to get this discussion done ASAP

I don't expect them to pay for my DC obviously so would splitting things three ways and me paying two thirds seem reasonable do you think?

We both work full time.

im on the other side of this right now im moving into my partners house this weekend with my 2 children and he has his two children every other weekend and 1 night a week.

He has got a big 5 bed house and runs his own company, works from home and i work as a part time receptionist so as you can imagine that he earns a lot more than me. and i had to sit him down more than once and ask how we do the bills because i want to keep separate bank accounts and he said because i lose my tax credits because of his earnings dont worry about it but i would not let the matter drop so what we agreed on is that his mortgage is paid by him alone and the rest of the bills we split in 2 and if his sums are right i only need to £200 a month if i can afford it (his words).

Have you asked her how much she's expecting to pay?

Tax credits being lost can be a lot of money a month...
Ask him what his bills are now...
And work from there.

The thing is that if there are no shared finances, then the OP's partner (who seems to be female, now) is arriving on the scene paying very low rent and with a big inheritance.

Now let's say she invests that inheritance and gains interest on it. If they're not sharing finances then the OP won't be entitled to any of that. So the girlfriend would be living almost rent free (and £150 pm is almost rent free) and saving her own money. That is very, very unfair.

Now let's say she invests that inheritance and gains interest on it. If they're not sharing finances then the OP won't be entitled to any of that. So the girlfriend would be living almost rent free (and £150 pm is almost rent free) and saving her own money. That is very, very unfair.

But surely that's the same on both sides because if they split the costs 50/50 so OP is paying £150 as well (for argument's sake) then OP is benefiting from her partner paying off part of her house, no?

So DP gets to keep their inheritance and interest, and OP gets to keep her house and gets some assistance in paying the mortgage.

If anything, OP is probably benefiting most as she won't be paying into her partner's inheritance (obviously) but her partner will be contributing towards paying off the house - which is likely a far more valuable asset than the inheritance anyway.

I don't know... I just think on those days when things aren't going well I'd get very, very resentful that I was subsidising her to such an extent. Think about it - if we were talking about the OP's grown up child living at home we'd expect a bigger contribution than that.

I don't know... I just think on those days when things aren't going well I'd get very, very resentful that I was subsidising her to such an extent. Think about it - if we were talking about the OP's grown up child living at home we'd expect a bigger contribution than that.

I don't think I'd expect more than half the household expenses from an adult child living at home, BUT if I did then it would be in the interests of teaching them about budgeting and prepare them for managing on their own when they eventually did move out. I'm guessing OP's partner already learnt these lessons!

I would potentially agree with you if OP herself was paying, say, £500, and then her new partner moved in and was paying only £150, but as they both work full time and the expense of the house is fairly low for OP as it is, I would say 50/50 is very fair. Particularly as the house is actually in OP's name rather than rented.

The normal response on other threads I've read here is that you don't contribute to someone else's mortgage if you don't have a stake in their house. So I'd change half the bills with them taking their turn/buying half the shopping.

I think what she is paying is irrelevant, if I wanted to rent a room, no stake in house and was a house of multiple occupancy paying between 80 -100 per week is normal, With all house repairs and bills included.
What she actually pays out does not matter unless they are changing the ownership of the house.
I would have a tenant agreement drawn up as you clearly are not sure as otherwise you would not be asking and also split food three ways.

Split bills/mortgage cost then take turns on food shop surely

Read some of the posts about cocklodgers...
If you only take food and bills your going to end up with her having loads of savings and you having nothing at the end of each month.
Is this a relationship or your taking on a lodger?
Ring fence her inheritance and your profit in the house...
Then look to see if you can still claim child maintenance or tax credits....
If you can then see how much that is and maybe both put that much into the pot each.... Unless it's not much. In which case both adults add more... £600 each a month for bills and foods would mean you are going to have a nice lifestyle..
The mortgage comes out of this all the bills and the food....
What is left can be used for a holiday at the end of the year...

Within the conversation I'd ask them how much they had thought they would be contributing. You may find it will be higher than your figure. If it is lower then it opens up the discussion on your amount 're. Household bills etc.