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Original poster

New in guy in my life and scared, worried etc

45 replies

mpeters82 · 10/08/2018 09:11

Hi,

I was on a dating site for 4-5 yrs and I recently decided to just start dating. I use to chat to guys but then felt scared to meet them. I have a condition which makes it hard to date. So would say this and say sorry don't want to waste your time.
Anyway I met this guy everything changed I deleted the account feel so much better.. Because of another reason too.
I just can't believe when I met him I was so nervous. Not felt like that since a long time. Then met him the other night and things went further between. I was trying to take it slow but stayed with him. Things got a bit messy think he did wrong and so did I by not telling him my condition.
Yesterday we had a good chat he seems understanding. He knows I like him but so scared if I fall for him then feel I be ***. I have held my feelings in. Yes still early and told him this and he said he will take it slow with me.
This morning feeling scared to lose him and that he going to change towards. Although he has not my doubts are scaring me.
We just had a talk about my son which has freaked me out more.
My son don't see his dad and just said he needs a father figure and he worried about him. I told him my son been saying stuff.
So I said I wanted to talk him about that in person.
I like this guy a lot and I think he likes me too. I can see us being together.
I've always said any guy that comes in my life don't expect them to play dad to my son. I just want some to support me.
My son once said to a friend of mine she said something stupid to him. I don't need a new dad I have one already.
Just feel that it's happened so fast and probably worrying over nothing. I'm happy and I am shocked how understanding he is. But I am still holding back being early days.
I'm just like thinking in my heart this seems meant to be. No other guy made me shut the dating site lol. A bit mad how all this has happened.

OP posts:
Agentornika · 10/08/2018 10:14

That was really hard to read and I still don't understand most of it. How long have you been seeing this guy?

LellyMcKelly · 10/08/2018 10:21

You’ve been on how many dates?

crimsonlake · 10/08/2018 10:24

2 dates? You need to slow down with all this drama.

lindyhopy · 10/08/2018 10:24

I don't understand this post. Can you clarify?

SparklyMagpie · 10/08/2018 10:27

I'm really struggling to understand,especially about the parts about your son and this guy.

But one thing...have you really only been on 2 dates and you're thinking and talking about things like this??

SparklyMagpie · 10/08/2018 10:29

And hang on,you say when you met him the other night things got messy and you stayed with him and he did wrong??

Did he try it on with you?

birdonawire1 · 10/08/2018 10:34

No one can help you if they can’t understand you’re problem. Just rewrite the post without all the ambiguity and secrecy. Name change if necessary but this is an anonymous site

Original poster
mpeters82 · 10/08/2018 10:40

I had a second date the other night. We message each day. I know it's still early but feel like I like this guy a lot already.

We decided yesterday we take it slow he only wants me and I only want him. But feel like he changed.
I feel like scared and he the only guy I felt so close. Or should I say connected too.
I got scared after our first but sorted things out. It felt a bit fast.

Since we had a good chat it seems okay a bit weird today. Just hoping he not gone distant. I am weary though trying to take it easy.
I even told him we should be friends after first date did freak out. But it's obvious theirs a connection not had that in a long time with anyone.
I am just worried scared I will too involved with him and fall for him and something goes wrong. Trying to be positive.
Feels so weird to be honest.
Each day he messages and it's like my heart pounding.
I went on another date awhile before he came along never felt like this. Plus had a guy issues.
I don't know what going to happen feeling so scared.
I been hurt so much by guys and don't want to hurt again.
I feel a mess confused and worried about my son.
If we were to be serious then he be my first since 2014. My son seeing me with a guy worrying me.
I know I'm.jumping ahead but just scared.
Such a weird feeling.

OP posts:
TheQueef · 10/08/2018 10:43

Slow down!
Don't be in a rush, not with D.C..

Try and enjoy dating without the pressure of a full relationship.

IDontEatFriedTurtle · 10/08/2018 10:46

hings got a bit messy think he did wrong and so did I by not telling him my condition.

What happened here?

What is your condition?

0ccamsRazor · 10/08/2018 10:46

And ........ b r e a t h

IDontEatFriedTurtle · 10/08/2018 10:49

How long have you been talking to him? It sounds like you are quite keen already despite meeting in person only twice.

The time you spend chatting online doesn't really count, even though it might feel that way. It's the together than really matters

Mumof4under10 · 10/08/2018 10:53

Enjoy some time getting to know this man first before worrying about too far ahead. Don't introduce him to your son until your both ready to commit to a relationship. And saying today feels a bit weird in the messages. Messaging is a really hard way to get to know someone you can't see how to are reacting to messages talking to someone face to face is the best way to understand and get to know them.

Agentornika · 10/08/2018 11:03

Wowzers, too much too soon. Just enjoy spending some time getting to know him and take it slow

SparklyMagpie · 10/08/2018 11:05

You need to slow it RIGHT DOWN

Why the rush?

Although to be honest, you saying it was going too fast and it's coming across he started rushing things from the first date,? It doesn't sound good to me personally.

I've been with a guy for 3 months now and I have a son and there's no way I'm ready to even think that far ahead to him having a part in my little boys life. It goes st it's own pace and when it feels right,there's no need to try and hurry it along.

I'm sure we all know what it feels like when you've met someone and feel you've both connected and you get all those feelings, but seriously, 2 dates??

You need to take a step back

SparklyMagpie · 10/08/2018 11:08

Can I just ask after reading your second update again...

What's his situation?

Does he have his own home, have a job etc?

I'm just not understanding the rush and the pressure? Who freaked out when you mentioned you wanted to be friends first?

Original poster
mpeters82 · 10/08/2018 12:56

I know it's gone so fast already. Well I normally go first date with a guy and then I stall meeting second time. Or some guys I just have not even met at all. It don't go this fast.
I mean I'm still trying to hold back still even spending the time and yes we do it. Thought this is all he wants. I am still keeping my eyes open and listening watching vibe he giving me.
But my condition is something really personal. I am kind of thinking how understanding he is. We are I think going to take it easy a bit.
But feel close to him already. I felt I messed it up but he said he needs to tell me something about his work.
I am ofcourse going to be careful. I feel a mess. I'm not stupid just think something going to go wrong. I won't tell him the ILU because I be lying to him and myself but I do like him a lot although that night was put off by him. I told him and he apologized and so we starting again. We rushed to fast.
He knows how I feel. So I know this is crazy. Everything has changed since meet him. It's crazy no idea why this is happening but go with the flow but be careful.
Do you think I should tell him let's slow down and think about all of this. I think he is. But I still hardly know him as you all pointed out. Feel like I will be hurt again. Trying to stay strong positive.

OP posts:
cheesefield · 10/08/2018 13:05

"But feel close to him already."

You've been on 2 dates. You do not know this man. At all.

Chill out.

chemicalworld · 10/08/2018 13:17

'Do you think I should tell him let's slow down and think about all of this. I think he is. But I still hardly know him as you all pointed out. Feel like I will be hurt again. Trying to stay strong positive.'

Just stop. You've been on 2 dates, go on more. That's all there is too it, you are massively overthinking.

IncrediblySturdyPyjamas · 10/08/2018 13:26

Have you had sex yet?

If not, then don't.

bobstersmum · 10/08/2018 13:34

You seem very very intense and really invested in this. Try to chill out, you really do not know this man. Be careful

SparklyMagpie · 10/08/2018 13:35

So you have had sex on the second date? You say he did something that weirded you out, did he pressure you into it? :(

userxx · 10/08/2018 14:06

You are way over invested, this person is almost a stranger - you've had two dates!!! Take a step back.

IDontEatFriedTurtle · 10/08/2018 14:07

It's really hard to give you advice as we don't know what's actually happened.

Has he pushed you sexually against your will?

Cricrichan · 10/08/2018 14:12

Hey, What happened and what's your condition? And why are you discussing father figures for your son on a second date?