3 awful years studying to become a Mental Health Nurse. Now question my own mental health and now my dd's :( I am not going to work in the profession, could really use some advice on what to do now?

[Bubblesandcake]

Long story short - I am a single parent and tonight was the final straw. I need some advice if anyone can offer some, I would appreciate it.
I almost left last year (2nd year) to work in a nursery but financially can't afford it. I have not enjoyed placements and struggled juggling everything. I get no support from my ex so pay the mortgage alone and juggle the childcare myself. Blamed all of the above so carried on. I can't begin to explain the hurdles I have overcome to reach this point (6 months to go). I can't give up now! However I don't want to be a mental health nurse. The more I am involved in, the more depressed I am. I have questioned this, spoke to other students who haven't like placements or tge uni experience but they want to continue. I really do not.
My one dd is struggling at school, is over weight (Im really trying to help her) and tonight my youngest told me she hears voices that aren't very nice (maybe triggered from some kind of trauma? I can't think of anything that has happened). For the last 2 weeks all I have done is sit working on my dissertation. I feel guilty. What if I have not been there emotionally for them? This degree has taken every bit of me. I'm not happy. It appears my children aren't either. The whole point of doing it was to gain a career to enable me to be financially stable for my dd's. I feel lost and helpless. I don't even want to be a nurse anymore. I just don't know which way to go.

HI! Just dropped on to give some moral support. I’ve just done a very demanding (Primary PGCE) full time and juggling with 2 kids, no money, full time placements and the 3 level 7 assignments nearly finished me off!
It’s finite though and keep your eye on that prize...you can do it!

Like others have said, it’s fifferent when you’re doing a job that you have been employed to do and you chose to apply there - not just thrust into a placement.

Good luck xx

Hi OP,

I agree with others, please speak to your uni. I did and was given a lot of encouragement and it turns out a lot of people were feeling the same.

Don't make your dd’s weight an issue. I've struggled with my weight post relationship breakup and realised I had to address why I needed the comfort. Ask her what she would like to do if she could plan a day out/activities for all of you. Then do more of the things she loves cost allowing .

Feel proud of how far you have come and remind yourself of this daily.

To cope with the dissertation I found that taking a few days off helped me. Take the next few days off then do a word plan. I planned four hundred words a day and got it done on target.

Hope that helps

Keep going with the degree but unfortunately a vast majority of newly qualified nurses (mental health and adult) don't get their dream or perfect jobs straight from qualifying. Many have to slog through the care of the elderly or dementia wards or care homes. Each shift gives you experience and a step closer to a better job. Make friends and acquaintances and these may help you. I speak from nearly 9 years experience.

I feel that's got to be the reason. She gets very anxious about being able to get to sleep. I offered alternative nights in my bed, to lie with her. I feel so guilty that I haven't addressed this properly as all along she was probably scared. I just always feel so exhausted, I thought she was just playing up (a little bit spoilt sometimes) so felt angry at her. I feel a bit rubbish actually. My eldest dd is probably reaching for food for comfort. Im going to ask my mum if she can have one dd on alternative weeks, just one day a week, maybe a bit of one to one with me. Im hoping she will.
Posting here has given me hope in getting a job in other areas. Thankyou.
NurseButtercup I remember your username. I'm so sorry you have struggled. It's so tough. How do you feel about taking a year out? I almost did too. My head is so exhausted if I was in a position to and wasn't so close, I would too.
I hope everything goes well and you can manage to get your thoughts together. It sounds like you positively are. You will do this, as you know we have worked too hard not to. I'm going to try to book to see a counsellor in uni. My uni is an hour away, so I need to do it when I'm in. I'm in next Tuesday so will book on the day.
Thankyou all so so much.

Thankyou, this is my next task. I'm actually going to look now whilst I have 5 mins. Thankyou, really helpful.
Well done queen - it's so tough!
Good plan around dissertation. I'm going to take a couple of days away from it and concentrate on moving forward with my dd's. I'm quite concerned now. I want and need to sort this.
I know I would never step in to my dream job but really can't work in those areas for many reasons. I thought I could to then find an area but I really don't enjoy it. I will find something and I do feel more positive about it now from posting.

Awakeupnorth - I have been reading. I am so overwhelmed today, do I email them. Do I deal with this myself. It's not like I don't have the experience. Bizarre really, my dissertation is on hearing voices. It's London based. I'm South Wales. The first thing my dd said was don't take me to the doctors.

By the way OP: I am working for a private health care group that provides mental health services in the UK. Quite small units up and down the country, good benefits. I mainly recruit from overseas, but if you want more information you can PM me.

pudding21 thankyou, that would be great.

pudding21 not sure how to pm you 🙈

Hi Bubbles, I think one option might be to think about what you've read overnight, and decide if you feel the site or some of the pdf files feel right to read together with DD. And then see what you both want to do next.

Interesting that your dissertation is on hearing voices - you won't have needed me to mention Romm and Escher. Have you seen Eleanor Longden's TED talk?

Click on message poster on the right hand corner of my post ;)

Awakeupnorth - yes, I have been reading lots and sat chatting lots with her today. It's so upsetting hearing it from someone you love. Her reaction to it are quite worrying but I'm determined to sort this.
I am thinking I might even get an extension on my dissertation to give me more time with my dd.
I am grateful for your link today, not heard of Romm and Escher. I haven't but will take a look. What is it?
pudding21 thankyou :)

Romme and Escher are the Dutch psychiatrists/psychologists (I can't remember which) who first started research which led to Hearing Voices Network / Movement. They have various publications which may be relevant to your dissertation and would certainly give an alternative to the medical model. There's also one on children:

Romme, Marius A.J.; Escher, Sandra D. (2010). Children hearing voices: what you need to know and what you can do. Ross-on-Wye, Herefordshire, UK:
Pccs Books. ISBN 9781906254353.

There's also a Hearing Voices Network Cymru, but I don't know if that's for adults only. I'm sure they'll be online.

Feel free to PM me.

I work in MH

I had a complete meltdown at the end of my degree. Not sleeping, anxious, eating disorder, depressed.
I was 2 days off finishing & called my parents crying to come and get me.

Thankfully with support, I passed and then got a job. My mental health was still poor & I was frightened of my own shadow - I didn’t think I’d last the week, the month, then the year!

Next year I will be celebrating 20 yrs with the NHS and I am confident & 99% like my job.

Please don’t underestimate what hard work you’ve been doing for 5 years & how burnt out you feel. Take regular breaks whilst doing your dissertation and have a really good rest when you finish.

There are lots of jobs that may suit once you’ve recovered.

Also you don’t need to know it all, you will still be learning. I don’t and I am after 20yrs!

Hello, have you considered a non-nursing job that still requires the nursing qualification? Look at NHS Jobs at NHS England, NHS Improvement Etc. They are always looking for nurses to do policy/perf/ops roles.

Just watched Eleanor Longden's TED talk. Wow!
That's amazing Gretagumbo. Just amazing. Actually it doesn't feel real. I can't see that for me. However gives me hope. I know it's going to be over in March 19. I can not explain how much I need this to be over.
I hope I find my calling. 5 years is a long time. 8 years ago my ex left and it been an upward struggle since. Thankyou. Messaging here has been comforting.

Thanks VoodooCroll :)

Please just remember that nothing is wasted whatever path you take. X

Yeah, the Eleanor Longden TED talk really makes an impact doesn't it.

What's been your favourite placement to date, or what settings have sparked your interest? I think you said women and children before, or something similar. I've started following an organisation called Maternal Mental Health Change Agents on FB

Oops, that was probably irrelevant, but somehow I keep seeing new strands of MH work.

I feel relieved, like a huge weight has lifted off my shoulders. I'm completely burnt out and just need to press pause.

I'm looking forward to only attending lectures and doing my assignment's, without worrying about being on placement and all the associated stress that brings.

I might surprise myself and actually enjoy the lectures 😂😂

Gretagumbo I am trying to think this, thanks.
Awakeupnorth I have never heard anyone speak about their voices like this. She has so much insight and appears so positive in her recovery. My favourite - I enjoyed working in early intervention. I feel that there is a need for it in schools before any signs of my have been identified. Teaching how to deal with emotions and self harm etc. I see it's being piloted in schools now, which is good. I haven't had the chance to experience children's mh services. I know this is difficult to get in to once qualified. I haven't experienced peri natal either which would be good, again really difficult to get in to. I feel I don't want the responsibility as a qualified nurse, especially in mental health, it's so much on the wards. What do you do Awakeupnorth? You seem to jave lots of interest and understanding in mental health.
NurseButtercup that's great news, I'm so glad for you. I can only imagine that feels great. So you are repeating the lectures? As you have done the placements in year 2? How will you manage financially? Sorry to be nosey. Really inspired by your motivation.

Gretagumbo your story is inspiring and gives me hope. I just can't see this happening to me but I guess I can't be 100% sure I won't.

Don’t give up the course, finish and get your qualification. I am a general nurse and a 2 week secondment to a mental health care facility was enough to give me nightmares. So not for me.

However the qualification alone will open doors even in relatively unrelated professions. I think the strain sounds enormous and you’ve done well to get so far.

birdonawire1 thankyou. Yes, some wards can feel that way. Heart breaking and it effects me quite badly. I can not work within it. The nurses that can are amazing (some) and it's what they feel best at. I want to give my all in something I enjoy.
I know I can't give up now, I'm too close. I really feel like there is hope now. A little guilty to the NHS as they paid for my training and I'm not even going to practice in it. The way I feel right now I won't be anyway.