How often does your partner “treat” you?

[Sailinghappy]

Or do you treat them? By treat, I mean paying for a meal out or buying a gift for example. My friend thinks it’s odd that my husband doesn’t really treat me, we actually have a lovely lifestyle and eat out often/ nice holidays etc but we pay for everything 50-50 or sometimes he lays and I buy the next one. Her husband pays for all meals out and also “treats” her to expensive gifts. I have largely the same expensive items (similar perfumes/ makeup/ bags/ jewellery) as her but I buy them for myself (I earn considerably more than my friend - is that a factor?) . Also, on birthdays / Christmas me and husband buy gifts of the same value for each other whereas she buys a token gift for husband and he splashes on her. What do other people do? Is it just linked to who earns the most in the relationship? Me and husband are happy as it is in any case, just wondering if we are indeed odd 😂😂😂

I take care of the household finances so most things come out of that. DH has his own account as pocket money, but generally he doesn't buy me presents unless for birthdays and Christmas. If we're eating out or going to cinema we take turns paying.

I don’t work so dh pays for everything- I wouldn’t call going for a meal out treating me though.

DP is very generous, we both work, he is the higher earner. We have separate bank accounts, pay half each on bills etc he pays for weekends away, theatre trips, meals out (these are all blue jobs according to DP) and often brings flowers home.

My DH is very generous. His parents are too (to each other and to everyone else!) so I think it's a learned behaviour! It was a surprise at first because I'd never had that before. Actually made me a bit suspicious until I realised he was just sweet and thoughtful - he genuinely enjoys making me happy. Bizarre but wonderful. Flowers, little gifts, etc. 'I saw this and thought you'd like it'.
I'm a SAHM so returning the favour is different - picking out his favourite treat when food shopping, making his favourite meal, etc. I wish I could do more sometimes!

Bloody never. It doesn't work like that in this house. To me that's the kind of thing twenty-something's do, like frigging 'date nights'.

Bought us a dominos last night because I was a bit grumpy and stressed and was my waiter for the evening.... immediately felt much better ha ha, he’s a good egg.

I wish I could do more sometimes

Why can't you? Don't you have equal access to money? If you're a stay at home mum it's family money, so how is it generosity?

My shift gave me a bottle of wine earlier this week.

He'd won it in a raffle.

I don't drink wine.

Does that count as a 'treat'?

Surely it's all the same really? I don't see it as a "treat" it's all family money at the end of the day anyway. I hope she actually has access t money without waiting to be "treated" though.

Bluntness100

I guess that's true! It is family money but I suppose I am aware that HE earns it and I feel like buying a treat with his own money isn't a treat. But then it's the thought and intention behind it that counts... And it goes both ways since I could just buy myself stuff too..... huh. Yeah. You're right.
This is a weirdly exciting and yet simple realisation.

he earns because you provide child care. Mentally pay yourself that money.

But it's your money too, as such he's buying you a treat with your money,,,,so why shouldn't you buy him one with yours? It works both ways in this scenario,,,😁

Bluntness100
Yes you're right, I honestly just didn't think of it that way. I now feel like I must balance the treat scales. I'm going shopping in a bit. And I'm gonna get something good

Our money is family money so it goes into a pot. But my dh will often come home with my favourite sweets, a bottle or wine chocolate he knows I like. It’s paid for out of our pot, but it feels like a treat for me as it’s him being thoughtful.
He also does things like get in bed in the winter and lie on my side whilst I clean my teeth, then get up to clean his teeth when I get in. So my side is warmed up for me

I treat myself regularly.
As does my husband.
We both work and earn similar salaries.
We don't treat each other.

We are adults ….independent adults who happen to be married.

I earn 3x times my partners salary and pay 3x more into our joint account which pays for our home, car, food, kids clothes, holidays, meals out etc. Anything we want to spend on ourselves comes out of our own money. Means there are no arguments. Rarely treat each other though, just birthdays etc. Sounds boring really!

We treat each other. The treat may be a bar of chocolate or something bigger like tickets to a concert. I also treat family and friends sometimes. I'd rather have a day out enjoying time together, than lots of money in the bank.