Day out with ex and our child

[Crowndale]

Hi,

I have been spilt up with my wife for 18 months, I am now in a new relationship which is just over 6 months and has become serious.

My ex-wife wants to go on a family day out for our 4 year old child's birthday, just the three of us. My new partner thinks this is unusual and would prefer if I didn't. She also has children and would never consider going out as a family with her ex. I know we are all different.

I believe my ex-wife still has strong feelings for me and wants me back home.

Whilst I would love to spend the day with our child, I am scared this will give my ex-wife false hope and also maybe confuse our child.

It's also going to upset my new partner if I do go as she is aware my ex-wife still wants me back.

I have suggested to my ex-wife of having our child a half day each, but she says they wouldn't be able to do much in half a day.

So I also suggested alternate each year, but she said that wouldn't be fair on the parent who doesn't have child.

Just seeking some advice, would this be considered unusual?

Kind regards

I agree with what other PP, he THINKS she wants him back, he’s said why, and it may well just be the the new GFs insecurities talking.

I’m all for having a lovely day out with your DD, she is old enough to understand the situation if explained to her properly.

posters are missing the point his ex wants him back she may have a hidden agenda in all this
What’s her hidden agenda? Pounce on him over the birthday cake and he won’t be able to refuse.

Me and my ex have joint days out (probably once every couple of months) with dd and we plan to do joint birthdays and Christmas while she’s young. My new boyfriend is fine with it, he knows dd comes first and me and my ex are just friends. His girlfriend isn’t ok with it, I think because she in competition somewhat with me and possibly even dd.

If you want to spend the day with your dd and get on ok with your ex, do it! Be clear you’re there for dd and if your ex makes any mention of your relationship just say “I’m here for dd”.
Maybe she does miss you and hope you’ll see what you’re missing. But if that’s not the case it’s her who’ll struggle and she may eventually need to put more space between the two of you. Or she could just want what’s best for her dd and she knows she’s love to spend the day with the two of you.

In regards to your gf, what’s her worry?