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Original poster

How to reply to next text

51 replies

toobusytothink · 05/08/2018 07:41

Help me come up with great response. Ok so I work in a school and there’s one guy I get on really well with and we are really good friends. Been lots of sexual tension and at end of term we had a couple of drunken snogs. Since breaking up for hols lots and lots of texting every day then met up and ended up in bed although not much happened. Morning was fine we were laughing and carried on texting loads for next couple of days. Then nothing for the past few days. I have sent a couple of random texts since which he has answered but they have been very short conversations.

He will get back in touch because we are meeting up next week as friends. So when he does, say he says sorry for not replying sooner, how should I reply

a) no probs see you ...
b) don’t worry, I know what you’re trying to do
c) and here I was worried you were lying in a ditch somewhere

Or something else??

OP posts:
Original poster
toobusytothink · 05/08/2018 08:41

Ok so my next (and last) text will just be to confirm the meet up on Wed. Sorted. (But agree there’s an 80% chance he will cancel)

OP posts:
Huskylover1 · 05/08/2018 09:22

lots of texting every day then met up and ended up in bed although not much happened

Uugh, so he's shit in bed.

I've no idea why you'd even bother seeing him again. My interest would have fallen off a cliff after that.

HollyGibney · 05/08/2018 09:25

You've obviously got a massive crush on him and sound very invested. He doesn't sound like he cares at all. I'd pull right back but it's easy to advise that and very hard to actually do it.

Original poster
toobusytothink · 05/08/2018 09:39

Huskylover that’s hilarious. You’re so right!!!

And yes - huge crush. But I can and will conquer it. Spend about 2 hours every day with him at work so v hard to get over

OP posts:
Original poster
toobusytothink · 05/08/2018 11:18

So he’s just replied asking if I’m buying them for him. Hard to just ignore ...

OP posts:
Cambionome · 05/08/2018 11:22

Honestly, op you sound massively over-invested in this. Confused

jaffacakeany1 · 05/08/2018 11:58

Whatever you do, don't reply too quickly, it'll look like you've been sat waiting for him to text. Give it a good few hours at least, he needs to know you have more important things to do than sit around waiting for messages. I wonder if he thinks you want more than you actually do?? Be cool 😎

sayhelloto · 05/08/2018 12:00

Buying what? I am behind!

scrabbled01 · 05/08/2018 12:07

You're too invested for something that won't ever work out. I think this will only end badly. I would get out now before you get hurt. Don't even bother meeting next week would be my advice.

Smidge001 · 05/08/2018 12:13

I agree.
It's all sounding too much like hard work for no end result to me and I'm merely a spectator. I'd be bored already and not bother meeting him at all!

pisces7268 · 05/08/2018 12:27

You say you don't want anything serious but posting on here asking what to say to him, I think li like him a lot more than you're willing to let on as you don't think he feels the same but he probably knows how much you like him from you instigating conversations with him and replying a lot faster than he is. I'd say ease off the messaging

MotsDHeureGoussesRames · 05/08/2018 12:32

You are kidding yourself if you think you don't want anything serious with this man. You wouldn't be analysing texts and responses before they've even arrived, if that were the case. Here's how it sounds to me:

1 You are infatuated with him.
2 You know he has commitment issues.
3 You are secretly hoping that you can be the one to resolve his commitment issues.
4 He fancies you but definitely isn't as invested as you are.
5 This is a workplace liaison = bad news.
6 If this all goes tits up (and given all the above, it's fairly likely) you are then in a REALLY awkward position, given you work closely with this man.

I'd cut your losses here, OP. You're not onto a winner imo and if you want some no-strings fun, look for it elsewhere - not with a guy with issues, whom you work with and for whom you obviously have feelings.

lifebegins50 · 05/08/2018 12:39

He is enjoying you being infatuated with him and toying with you..seeing how far you might go, even to buy him stuff.

If you went to bed but he couldn't perform I would take that as a bad sign as this man will destroy your self esteem.

Every relationship has a cost, but usually has higher benefits...others have outlined the cost to you but the benefits seem to be a drunken snog and a few flirty texts.
Is he the only man on the scene or have you been single a while so any attention feels good?

Huskylover1 · 05/08/2018 12:46

How about this:

"Hi XX. Thanks for your text. In answer to your question, No, I will not be buying them for you, as you are a grown man with an income, and you are not even my boyfriend. Your long gaps between messaging, have given me pause for thought, about the attributes that I find attractive in a man. And, alas, Committent Phobic with Limp Penis was actually not among my desires. I do hope that this does not disappoint you too much. I will soften the blow, by saying, that I very much enjoyed the flirting. However, I do feel that I was undersold somewhat, when said flirting led to a severe lack of bedroom prowess on your part. Please continue to search for your Mrs Right : I am sure that there are plenty of young ladies available, that would like to play scrabble all evening, without forming any emotional attachment. Please find detailed below, my address, as I think you may find that your response to this message might reach me quicker, if you avail yourself of the Royal Mail Service. Kind regards, toobusytothink
PS. I have attached a photo of a flacid penis to your name in my contacts list, so that if I feel my resolve weakening, I am reminded of my reasons for discontinuing our flirtation"

MotsDHeureGoussesRames · 05/08/2018 13:06

Husky GrinGrin

Original poster
toobusytothink · 05/08/2018 13:07

Your replies are all bloody class! I never said he couldn’t get it up though - just that not a lot happened ie no sex or oral.

You are all corrct🙄. It is an infatuation which can’t go anywhere and I should def hold back.

However I am absolutely shit. When I didn’t reply he sent a lot of flirty suggestive texts which I have completely reacted to positively ...

I know I came here for advice and have completely ignored you all

OP posts:
Paddingtonthebear · 05/08/2018 13:11

You sound very young Confused

Original poster
toobusytothink · 05/08/2018 13:13

Husky that is quite simply the best text ever! If only I didn’t have to see him every day!

OP posts:
sayhelloto · 05/08/2018 13:20

How old are you OP?

Also I am confused as to what he wants out of this... Why has he been ignoring you but then as soon as you ignore him once he starts sending suggestive texts?

You said no one at work could find out - is this because one of you has a partner?

He is not behaving professionally or nicely in my opinion - worried he is going to fuck you over tbh!

jaffacakeany1 · 05/08/2018 13:25

Life's too short to be sensible all of the time, there's nothing better than some hot flirting with someone you have a major crush on, providing you have no high hopes of anything more. Have fun with it, but try to remain tough with yourself and don't let yourself get hurt. Make him do the work if he wants more drunken snogging!

MadeForThis · 05/08/2018 13:38

Friend zone him. He's either playing games or doesn't really want you. Either way you will get hurt.

Send a message about the next meet up. Tell him that X and Y are coming too. Should be a good night.

Stay friends if you want. The rest is just messy.

Original poster
toobusytothink · 05/08/2018 14:17

Jaffacake you have hit the nail absolutely on the head!

So the reason why it will never work out is because there is a huge age gap (I am older) but it is incredibly flattering and I have had a shit year and need some fun!

OP posts:
FlorencesHunger · 05/08/2018 14:19

I'd just revert back to friendship tbh if it's not going anywhere, fwb doesn't seem like it's going to work in this case.

It's already not fun.

jaffacakeany1 · 05/08/2018 14:48

Age gap is what I'd guessed. Nothing wrong with that, like I said, as long as you both understand it's just for fun. Enjoy!!

BifsWif · 05/08/2018 18:47

You’re going to get really hurt if you’re not careful. You are so clearly over invested in this, he must be able to tell which means he can drop you and pick you up again when he pleases.

The friendship excuse is just that. An excuse. Friends don’t treat other friends like shit.

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