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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

DS Injured by new GF dog while with ex am I over reacting

46 replies

ponyprincess · 05/08/2018 02:31

I am just trying to put this in perspective and don't want to over react

Ds is 10 and he spent the last week with dad (acrimonious divorce emotional/physical abuse..dd 14 refuses ro see dad just as a bit of context) separated 2 years

So ds went to spend week with dad-in spite of all dad has never been off with them and ds wanted to go so fine. When he came back he had a big bruise on his face so obviously i asked him. He said Dad's nee gf's dog was there and lunged at him and his teeth hit him before dad pulled him away

I am feeling upset as. Dad sad nothing about this and also of this dog is around worried. I am not anti dog as we have one at home too. This is a "big' rescue dog from his description. I just want to make sure kids are safe but don't want to over et react so interested in opinions

OP posts:
ScrubTheDecks · 05/08/2018 02:37

Well, my child would not be going there again while there is any chance the dog is there.

What happened afterwards? Did the dog and gf stay there with your Ds?

Original poster
ponyprincess · 05/08/2018 02:39

They did. I was wondering if refusing contact if the dog.was there was too extreme

OP posts:
Glitterandunicorns · 05/08/2018 02:41

I'm sorry OP. This must be worrying.

I think the first thing I'd want to know is do you think the bruise on your son's face is consistent with his account of how he got it?

Without wanting to cast aspersions, you've said that your ex was previously abusive, and I wouldn't think you would get a bruise from a dog's teeth hitting you in the face.

I don't mean to insinuate that your son is a liar, but sometimes children who've been assaulted aren't always truthful as they don't want to get people they love into trouble.

Anyway, I don't mean to scaremonger or anything like that. I just think it's important to ascertain what has happened, and I think it's odd that your ex hasn't mentioned it.

I think under the circumstances, I might contact the ex and ask what happened to son's face and not make any reference to your son's account.

Even if it was the dog as your son said, surely your ex would be concerned about your son's welfare and should be making appropriate provisions where your son is concerned, the least of which would hopefully be no dog in the house while your son is there.

I hope he has a quick recovery, OP.

Original poster
ponyprincess · 05/08/2018 02:41

Thank you confirming my feeeling

OP posts:
timeisnotaline · 05/08/2018 02:45

Nope nope nope.i agree completely with first asking ex without mentioning dog or the story you have been given, but I would never let a child go if it’s the dog, or the ex.

Original poster
ponyprincess · 05/08/2018 02:47

glitterandunicorns
I feel more worried now tbh but I think his story was believable the dog lunged at him and I guess he was meaning to bite but ex pulled him back so dog just hit tooth on his head rather than get the bite

OP posts:
Original poster
ponyprincess · 05/08/2018 02:48

Yes this my worry especially ex said nothing and I text to ask... Radio silence

OP posts:
ScrubTheDecks · 05/08/2018 03:16

Unexplained bruise, or bruise caused by dig that is still present and my child would but step there again.

Monty27 · 05/08/2018 03:20

Get it documented OP. Even a GP appointment to ask whether he needs a tetanus shot. Just get it documented. Flowers

Sally2791 · 05/08/2018 05:02

This is not ok on several levels. Ex should have told you. In future insist that the dog is not there
Make sure your DS isn't being pressurised into not telling you other events. GP appt and perhaps have the police to have a word with ex so that this incident is logged

brizzledrizzle · 05/08/2018 05:05

What monty27 said, it's a good idea to have it documented. My child so Kent be going there until it was resolved to my satisfaction,

brizzledrizzle · 05/08/2018 05:06

Also, consider logging it with the non emergency number in case it is the dog and it happens again. The more this is documented the better in case you do have to insist contact only happens without the dog there.

dragonflyflew · 05/08/2018 06:02

From personal experience: abusers are very good at coaching victims with cover up stories. Not saying that happened in this situation but sounds like ex has form. Be very careful.

Cawfee · 05/08/2018 06:21

Firstly, photograph it from different angles. Get in to see GP ASAP. Ring local police number to get their advice. See solicitor. I would NOT be allowing my kid to set foot anywhere near until an explanation was made. I would text to say “our son has a bruise which he says he got because your GFs dog attacked him, please provide a full explanation immediately or I will be contacting the police and a solicitor. This is not acceptable”

PintOfMineralWater · 05/08/2018 06:29

However he got the bruise it doesn’t sound very safe for him there.

It only takes a moment for a dog to cause irreparable damage. I was badly bitten in an attack lasting only a few seconds and have awful scars, it would only take a few seconds lapse on its owners part for the dog to really harm your ds

Spanglyprincess1 · 05/08/2018 06:35

I have always had dogs and this seems strange, I've never had bruises from.agression with dogs but from.overexcjted jumpy dogs then yes. Either the dog wasn't going to bite and jumped as excited knocking the child ( child misunderstood as agression) or this isn't how he got the bruise. If the dog made contact and it was agressive contact it would have been a bite. It's unclear how the bruise was caused from your original post so I may have misunderstood.
You need to ask the ex what happened and speak to your child again about how the injury occured as it really dosnt sound right.
If it was from an overkeen dog then tbh you are being unreasonable as the dog was clearly being controlled as it was restrained and told, although I'd want reassurances for future visits - however I'm not sure that's what happened

PitchBlackNight · 05/08/2018 06:44

What does your DS think?

TheGoldenWolfFleece · 05/08/2018 06:48

Log it with the police? What the fuck? Don't the police have better things to do than record a 10 year old not quite being bitten by a dog?

You havent got a clue whats actually happened so why don't you speak to the ex and find out what's actually happened? Considering he pulled the dog back it sounds like he was supervising.

If your dog went to bite your son would you be happy with your ex suggesting that your son stays with him all the while your dog is there?

SavvySaver24 · 05/08/2018 06:56

Why on eaeth don't you speak to your ex to get the full story. Firstly you don't even know this is true and IF it is true it may be because your son was pissing the dog off/winding it up.

Coyoacan · 05/08/2018 06:57

Well in my young day, dogs that tried to bite humans were put down. But it does sound very unusual that he should have a bruise from a dog attack.

PatheticNurse · 05/08/2018 06:57

Completely unacceptable. Accidents happen but your ex should have contacted you immediately, afterall this isn't a minor injury.

I would get the injury looked at incase it becomes infected. Also l would phone the police for advise.

mineisarossini · 05/08/2018 07:00

I don't think it was the dog op. I have dogs and I don't know how it would be even possible to cause this kind of accident?

Book an app with the doctor, and get some advice about this injury. You need to have it recorded in case it is an assault.

If this has been an innocent incident then your ex I am sure would have told you what had happened, and the steps he has taken to help aid his child. Cold peas on bruise, doctor has had a look at it etc. The radio silence speaks absolute volumes to me.

I would get a medical opinion and stop all contact for now and consider (dog or dad has badly hurt your ds and that is a good enough reason to stop your child going there)

You are no longer able to guarantee your child's safety anymore in your ex's care either way.

UrsulaPandress · 05/08/2018 07:01

What Spangly said. An open mouthed bang from a tooth is one thing and is excitement.

Rescues are not normally rehomed with children from my experience.

mineisarossini · 05/08/2018 07:03

If it was an open mouthed bang then you would have the bruise in a shape of a tooth or a few teeth, not one large bruise.

Yes and you are right, we tried to rehome a recuse and couldn't because we have children.

Theresnodisneyending · 05/08/2018 07:04

The dog leaped up and the teeth bruised your son"s face?? That sounds really unlikely to me.

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