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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Not that into me - proud that I dumped him!

59 replies

Namila · 03/08/2018 19:54

So following up from another thread about a guy whom I had been seeing for nearly 2 months was still on Tinder. Seeing him was making me feel very stressed but I talked myself into giving him the benefit of the doubt and see how things went.

Today was the first time in 3 weeks we were both in town. He had asked me out for dinner tonight 3 days ago. This morning he said he could not wait to see me.

Today at 4pm he texted me saying that actually, he had forgot he had a dinner with friends, but he would text me after dinner and what were my plans for tonight anyway? Confused

He wasn't even apologetic. I told him things aren't working for me so we should leave it here.

I feel proud of myself for being able to see the signs of a half-interested man early on, and having the spine to act on those signs even though I really like him. Only a couple of years ago I would not have been able to see and do that.

"If it does not feel right, it isn't right."

OP posts:
kalinkafoxtrot45 · 03/08/2018 22:34

Stay strong! A man who’s really into you makes you a priority. You did right and he’s a twonk.

springydaff · 03/08/2018 22:38

Bravo!

Stay strong girl 💪

marsbarsandtwix · 03/08/2018 22:41

Well done OP
The response is typical of that kind of a guy arrogant twat trying to make you doubt yourself. Delete his number if you feel you might be ever tempted to text him again.
Onwards and upwards!
Brew

eddielizzard · 03/08/2018 23:36

Don't respond! He wants you to say oh I like you too! It's ok, come over!

Don't. Don't give him the satisfaction.

Whackytaco · 03/08/2018 23:44

What a knobber.
If he does text you later (for the booty call), ignore it and text something like "ah look, I don't think this is really working out for me. All the best" tomorrow mid morning.

whatwouldkeithRichardsdo2 · 03/08/2018 23:52

Well done OP! Strong work.

ColdNeverBotheredMeAnyway · 03/08/2018 23:55

Well done - how dare he think he could go out for dinner with someone else but then come to you for a booty call?

Arrogant twunt. You did the right thing.

YaLoVeras · 04/08/2018 00:01

👍👏
I look forward to having that first behind me. I have been dumped the last 4 times ive tried to date somebody and i was never bothered and felt relief 72 hours after being dumped

Original poster
Namila · 04/08/2018 07:43

YaLoVera I am sure this will be the case with this man, who was clearly not that bothered.

It is so empowering though not to put up with shit that makes you feel devalued and just walk away when it appears clear that things are not moving towards the direction you want. In the past I used to put up with stuff I was not happy with for far longer, hoping that these men would suddenly come around and fall for me/ change their behavior.

I am really happy I learned not to waste my time, and Mumsnet has been crucial in opening my eyes. Thank you wise Mumsnetters!

OP posts:
ConfusedWife1234 · 04/08/2018 07:49

Flowers Well done for learning not to put up with that kind of things anymore.

WasFatNowThin · 04/08/2018 08:09

Well done.

yetmorecrap · 04/08/2018 12:48

I am sure he does like you, just not enough to be reliable or prioritise you or he isn’t at that stage mentally with anyone, even if you were miss world and mother Theresa combined

yetmorecrap · 04/08/2018 12:50

I once went out with someone on a first date, who seemed really into me many moons ago, the minute it cropped up that sex wouldn’t be on the cards, mysteriously he suddenly wasn’t as into me.

blitzen · 04/08/2018 13:05

You are so better off without this guy who sounds, texts and acts like a total loser. Well done, OP. He had his chance. Now onwards and upwards for you and please don't contact him again xx

FuckingHateRain · 04/08/2018 13:11

He's a knobhead
You're fantastic ....

mogratpineapple · 04/08/2018 13:22

Yay!

Seriousquestion09 · 04/08/2018 15:06

Honestly... too many of these arrogant men around

Ryder63 · 04/08/2018 15:31

Haha he replied just as MN expected! these men really do think they're the shit, don't they? Grin

ErrmWTAF · 04/08/2018 15:47

... forgot he had a dinner with friends,... friends date

... but he would text me after dinner and what were my plans for tonight anyway? and what were my plans for tonight anyway? are you still up for a free shag if I don't get lucky with the girl I'm buying dinner? "

Munster really should team to with ChumpLady's Universal Bullshit Translator. Grin

ErrmWTAF · 04/08/2018 15:48

Mumsnet, not Munster. #hatemyphone

Original poster
Namila · 04/08/2018 18:25

Ahahaah brilliant Errm Grin

OP posts:
pisces7268 · 04/08/2018 18:34

Sorry to hear that he was a waste of time, but well done getting rid of him sooner rather than later! The quicker you get rid of the guys wasting your time, the quicker you'll meet the right one!

xxconfusedxx · 04/08/2018 20:11

Well done OP, this must have been so hard to do but now you are free to find someone who respects you!

LellyMcKelly · 05/08/2018 06:55

Well done! Nobody needs a knobber like that!

Urbanbeetler · 05/08/2018 06:59

There is something subtly manipulative about his answer- well done for standing strong on your decision which I agree is the right one.

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