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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Married to someone with Asperger's? Support group here!

941 replies

picklemepopcorn · 03/08/2018 10:04

This thread is for partners seeking to understand the dynamics of their relationship with someone with ASD. It is a support thread, and a safe space to have a bit of a rant. Avoid sweeping generalisations if possible, try and keep it specific to you and your partner.
(ASD partners welcome to lurk or pop in, but please don't argue with other posters and tell them they are wrong.)

OP posts:
MrsSpocksSister · 16/10/2018 16:03

Insightful, my marriage is mostly good. I'm only recently joining the dots. DH is a bit mystified but willing to work with me on it. I don't think it's hopeless.

MrsSpocksSister · 17/10/2018 13:12

Tried to talk to DH again today about his possible diagnosis- things that make me think, with hindsight, may indicate he's on the spectrum. It was very gentle and non-persecutory but he got extremely stressed immediately, to the point of feeling ill and sweaty. He couldn't say anything about what he thought except that he didn't necessarily agree. He couldn't say if or when he's prepared to talk about it. He doesn't know if he'd prefer me to email him instead of trying to talk. He acted exasperated, as though I was harassing him by mentioning it. I was suddenly furious and had that feeling of being left on my own to take all the responsibility for him. I desperately need to take a step back. Not separation but some distance to get perspective.

Insightfulusername · 17/10/2018 16:25

MrsSpocksSister - sorry to hear it went like that. Understand what you mean about feeling like you are taking responsibility. Apologies as have probably missed lots of previous posts but what sort of ‘signs’/issues have led you to have this discussion with him about diagnosis and do you know if it has ever been raised before when he was a child or anything?

MrsSpocksSister · 17/10/2018 17:07

No, I'm raising it for the first time now- since August. I've thought it about his brothers before but not him, or not seriously, because he's so high-functioning compared with them. But not compared with, for example, me. And it's come home to me how much I've been compensating more and more every year for his deficits. I've also been distracted and absorbed in child-rearing, caring for my mother, work etc. But now it's just me and him, I'm joining the dots.

MrsSpocksSister · 17/10/2018 19:10

And now I'm feeling so low and miserable I don't want to be here with him. I can go through the usual process and tell myself he loves me really; but that's part of the problem: I have to tell myself because he will never tell me. I have to supply all the love from me to him and from him to me as well. Today he's done something practical to help me, which I do appreciate. But I do practical things to help him all the time. Where's my appreciation? Sounds childish but I'm feeling childish, to be honest.

Bluebellforest1 · 17/10/2018 19:20

MrsSpocks Flowers

TimeIhadaNameChange · 17/10/2018 19:58

MrsSpocks ((((hugs))))

If he knows his brothers are on the spectrum it may scare him to think he is also, especially if he thinks you says mentioning it means you think he is as bad as they are.

My DP woulda probably be the same if I asked him to choose between email and talking: I get the same reaction if I ask whether he wants tea or coffee. Acting as though I’m harassing him is exactly how he is. I understand it as almost being sensory overload but in thought form. That, or almost laziness, but not actually laziness at all. He’d far rather I just made him a cuppa, or didn't. He wouldn’t be offended if I didn’t make him one, and thinks I shouldn’t be offended I feel I do and he’s doesn't drink it (we've actually discussed that second part!) He’s not bothered either way, it’s the being asked that stresses him out, the being forced to think about something when, in his mind, he doesn't need to.

Although more important, I honestly think the 'email or talk' qu would illicit the same. It’s not that he wouldn't think it too important to think about, but the question would upset him, because, until I asked it, it was unnecessary for him to think about it at all, and, in his opinion, nothing has changed. Am I making any sort of sense?

As for the appreciation, it may be he's (almost physically) unable to tell you. I know my DP has that problem. I'll never forget him being close to tears telling me how great a meal I’d cook had been. Thing was, he could only tell me by saying he'd told a friend about it the evening before, six months after the event. He was unable, even then, to tell me directly that he'd liked it. He'd told the friend that, at the time, he'd said it was ok and shrugged, he'd wanted to say something else but couldn’t. I could see how hard it was for him even to recount this to me. He's not stupid, he wasn't playing games, he was unable to do so.

As for him loving me, I don't know. There are other factors at play which would make him difficult to say so even with the AS. Luckily (in a way) I have my own problems which mean I’m actually quite happy even if he doesn't. Don't get me wrong, I wish he did, (possibly, though I think I’d run a mile) but the status quo suits us both. If the woman of his dreams turned up tonight, though, he’d have no problems going off with her as he doesn't think it should hurt me.

Have you read “22 Things a woman must know if she loves a man with Asperger's syndrome” by Rudy Simone? It might be worth a quick skim.

It is tough, though, and you have my sympathies. Maybe take some time for yourself and reassess things?

MrsSpocksSister · 17/10/2018 22:56

Thanks Time.

He says he's not afraid of a diagnosis and not worried about stigma. I've sent him all the self-referral papers but he will not do them.

Spare room for me again.

MrsSpocksSister · 17/10/2018 22:59

Interesting what you say about the 'email or talk' conversation. Our family life would have stalled years ago without me giving him multiple (well, three) choices at every turn.

Moffa · 21/10/2018 20:02

I hear you Mrs Spocks Sister.

I’m fed up. I want to take the children& leave but where to?! It’s so shit.

LWTW · 22/10/2018 10:18

Hi all,
Can I jump aboard this thread? I have been with my husband for 10 years now and I have long suspected he was somewhere on the ASD spectrum. I have broached the subject with him before on several occasions but he can't see past a label making him "broken" in some way. We have good and fairly strong marriage but being outwardly affectionate has always been a huge struggle for him. I don't expect it now (and I'm fine with this currently) but every so often will see other couples being affectionate with one another and wish that was us, he just doesn't know how!
These are some of the more obvious reasons why I have always thought he had ASD:

  1. Acute hearing, I can't eat in a quiet room without him snapping at my "loud" eating. Crisps are the worst offenders, I would eat them in a separate room!
  2. He avoids conflict, he will not engage if I am ranty or upset. Will sit quietly and probably send me a text message later to put his side across.
  3. He doesn't have any friends really. He had friends in primary/high school/uni but moved on from these friendships easily. He wasn't emotionally invested in them and has expressed the view that he didn't see the point of maintaining a relationship with someone as they or he might move away ect. A lot of his childhood was spent alone in the countryside. He does miss having friendships but in all honesty I don't think he knows how to make them or maintain them. He isn't a bad guy and he gets on well enough with people in social situations he just can't/won't make an effort to build and maintain relationships. I will point out that his parents are very similar in this regard.

He is a great dad and is actively involved in running the house and looking after the kids. More so since I went back full time at work and he has the lions share of the care and admin. It can just be hard work for me having to remind him to be emotionally available for the children and I, and that he needs to lead by example where the kids are concerned. This is hard as I don't believe his parents were emotionally available to him growing up and were rather disinterested in him. He can see that but it is hard to not repeat the same cycle.

I'm glad I found this thread, it's nice to have somewhere with people in similar circumstances!

MrsSpocksSister · 22/10/2018 22:38

LWTW hello.

I can see why you're wondering about your DH.

We've had a bit of a breakthrough here, because DH read the blurb that comes with the self-referral form for the Lorna Wing Centre. This is the first reading he's done about autism, despite my concerns. He realised, looking at the criteria for referral, that he definitely meets at least five out of eight. So he wants to go ahead.

But he is literally unable to fill in the form. He cannot think of answers to any of the questions. So he needs me to help. This is wildly out of keeping with his cognitive abilities. But he cannot commit a word to paper unless it's definitely right.

I do think this struggle, attending Relate, is worth the effort. Even though it's draining, it's helping me to understand some things that were a mystery. For example, we had a disaster in bed a few months ago when he disengaged and turned his back on me with no explanation. It has seriously affected me. Today, for the first time, he said 'it was nothing to do with you, it was me, I felt uncomfortable and had to stop'. I don't understand why he couldn't tell me that before. But it's a tiny bit of progress.

midcenturylegs · 23/10/2018 15:11

@Moffa

How's it going - are things getting any better?

Moffa · 24/10/2018 21:45

Hi Midcenturylegs! It’s ups & Downs to be honest. I can relate to so much written on this thread. @LWTW my husband can’t stand the sound of me eating - it’s not something anyone has ever mentioned before so I’m sure it’s him.

I wish he would agree to counselling but I don’t even know when I would broach the subject.

Any advice appreciated xx

Moffa · 24/10/2018 22:27

@midcenturylegs I just saw on the old thread you said you were 2 months out of your relationship. How are you doing? How do you feel? Do you have DC? X

MrsSpocksSister · 24/10/2018 22:48

In the end I told DH I was going to Relate & he could join me or not. He chose to come. He can barely speak but has managed a few words. But at request of therapist has also been to two sessions without me. And we've now filled in the referral form for the Lorna Wing centre and sent it off. Progress.

YelenaSabra · 25/10/2018 15:03

In the early of stages of dating someone who has 'pinged' my autism/Asperger's radar, so reading with interest...

MrsSpocksSister · 26/10/2018 22:29

@TimeIHadaNameChange, thanks for your thoughtful response to my recent post. I'm sorry I wasn't more appreciative at the time. I'm calmer now and things are looking up.

Moffa · 27/10/2018 07:33

Hi everyone, my DH is not easy to start a conversation with, his temper erupts. Should I write an email? That way I can lay out how I feel. Or will he see that as me bombarding him?

I’ve spent the last week reading all about aspergers and it’s clear to me he is on the spectrum. This also makes me realise he is not going to have an emotional response to how I feel. I think it’s the end of the toad for me because I’m not happy living with a cold, distant, unemotional man who is obsessed with his work & barely socialises. I feel like I live alone & single parent my children anyway. I read that divorcing someone with aspergers can be hard too as they will fight against it. Any advice appreciated- thanks Sad

midcenturylegs · 27/10/2018 13:11

@Moffa
Hey - sorry didn't see your post. It's funny - I do feel free-er but the effects are still lingering on. By default we were excluded from dinners with friends because ex made things awkward most of the time so it was always me just going out with my mates by myself. But I've forgotten how to relate to people and find myself being like him sometimes. Getting there though and re-building my personality and am not quite the shell I was 4 months ago..
But I'm loving the lack of tantrums, the looks of hatred on his face (when he is just concentrating on something) and to be able to be myself. Sigh...
How are you doing?

TimeIhadaNameChange · 27/10/2018 14:34

@MrsSpocksSister Absolutely no problem. I’m really glad things looking better for you and I’m relieved your DH is engaging both with the counselling and the LW assessment. I don't suppose you could list the 8 assessment criteria, could you? I’d be interested to see how close DP would get.

I mentioned to DP that I thought there was something else at play the other day. Was pretty worried about telling him as it's not a 'nice ' suggestion but he had a doctor's appointment the next day so I needed to tell him then. In his usual fashion he didn't respond at all and I have no idea if he mentioned it to the doctor, but he is seeing a psychiatrist so who knows? That's the other reason the LW criteria might be useful, if he comes close to that it might be worth mentioning to the psych.

MrsSpocksSister · 28/10/2018 20:14

I'm away from home for work at the moment but the criteria for referral to Lorna Wing Centre were broad, eg difficulties with language, social relationships & social imagination, aversion to change, problems with self-care etc. Also whether these had led to learning difficulties, employment problems, and so on.

Moffa · 28/10/2018 20:25

@midcenturylegs I’m so pleased to hear that it’s all going ok. I dream of my own life but am also terrified - so kind of stuck in limbo! I did go & see a house this weekend. I don’t think I can afford it but was nice to dream! If I decide to go I know he will hate me. Do you have children? We have two pre schoolers.

@mrsspockssister I’m also fascinated by the criteria for LW although more because I’m sure H would fit most of them although luckily doesn’t have self care/employment issues. He’s fastidious about anything he gets his claws in to.

Hope everyone had great weekends! X

midcenturylegs · 29/10/2018 16:33

@Moffa I have one DD who is not my ex-Aspie's. That was part of the problem - to be fair he did try really really hard with her but she just couldn't warm to him. His strange facial expressions freaked her and her friends out - I couldn't continue to put her through that if he wasn't her Dad, and as she approaches being a teenager his staring might mean other Mums wouldn't let their DDs come over

Moffa · 31/10/2018 07:38

@midcenturylegs - I understand that!

I’ve been back to the old thread & read through. OMG so many lightbulb moments. My DH always needs outside reassurance- once he made me take my cat to a neighbour to check his coat was ok (he isn’t a very smooth coated cat but has always been like that, I got him as a kitten) and he badgered me relentlessly about the cat! He is always late, hates socialising, can’t cope with being spontaneous, wears clothes until they drop to bits, never buys me (or anyone else) Birthday or Christmas presents (apparently that is MY JOB!)

When we met he was utterly charming, I honestly thought I had met the perfect man. Successful, loving. I can’t really remember any major red flags - except his mother once told me she believed he has Aspergers, I had no idea what aspergers was. She died 8 years ago so I can’t now ask her more.

The first red flag in hind sight was our wedding day. The photographer asked him to kiss me for a photo & he got all wooden and said ‘Im not doing this kissing thing all day’. At the time I just put it down to being awkward in front of a photographer. I guess that was the start of him withdrawing any physical affection. He barely touches me now.

For those of you who have separated/divorced, how was the process? I’ve been reading that it’s very hard to divorce someone on the spectrum. Plus I feel sad & lonely about it, but I’m sad & lonely anyway (aside from my divine DC).

Daftasabroom said in one post on the old thread ‘it was like she was taking a hug rather than giving one’ - that is exactly how it is for me! Sad