I called boyfriend a ba****d during argument and now i feel awful :(

[EmmaJenkins1]

I'm 24, he's 26. I was practicing driving to a city about 2 hours away and he was kind enough to sit with me straight after work which i was so grateful for since i need to learn for work. He even checked my car was okay for me.
Of course we've had our arguments like any other couples but i've never ever called him names apart from tonight. The only time name calling has happened is when he's said "you're being a bitch", but that's the most severe it's gone.
Anyways, i get anxious and tense driving to new places. We had a few nitpicks at each other driving there, just about direction and normal couple driving snaps.
When we arrived in the city, i was completely lost, didnt have a clue where i was going, and i was panicking scared i was going to break any speed limits since the speed was changing constantly (not used to city driving being a country girl).
Anyways, I started to feel my eyes get teary. He told me to stop being a baby. And i said "i cant help it. You do realise girls are more emotional than boys", and he said "dont use that excuse. I know plenty of girls that wouldnt cry over this!" So i said "good for them but i'm stressed and this is how i deal with it" (i'm a big believer in not being ashamed to show emotions). Anyway with him calling me a baby and the stress, i was a blubbering mess so i pulled over. He told me to get out of the car for fresh air and i said "no i just need to sit in silence" and he started having a go at me for not getting fresh air but i deal with stress differently. Anyways we managed to get back on the motorway and I said how i hated the drive there and he started listing options I have for the future. I said I feel there's only 2 options - drive here or dont take the job. And he started saying how i dont listen to him, and that he was about to list more options. I said "i might just go straight back to my house after this", he said "okay".
When we got home, i thought we'd have at least a 5 minute chat in the car about how it went because i was a sobby mess and i thought we might have a hug at least. But on the way home he said "drop me off here", i said "why?" He said "going to see my mate" so i said "oh i thought we could talk for a bit?" And he said "you said youre going straight home?" So i said "yeah but i thought we'd at least have a little chat about the events" and he said "i tried to talk to you but you wouldnt listen to me" so i said "i did listen" and he said "where would we talk? My room? You said you were going home so you clearly lied?" So i said "i didnt lie, wherever, i always speak to you when youre upset" and he said "what can i do? It's your life. I've got a mate to see" so i said "you're such a b***rd, get out of my car" and he did,
But i shouldnt have said that, i was just an emotional mess and felt so claustrophobic :( i feel really awkward with him now :(

I think some posters are underestimating what it's like driving with anxiety into a different place. I used to suffer hugely with it and it was awful and life-limiting.

The good news is that it can get much better.

Things that helped were hypnotherapy, a good sat nav and never driving with my ex partner in the car. Antidepressants still help in situations where my anxiety is particularly high.

But now I can happily hop in the car and drive somewhere new, although certain cities are still a pain in my bum.

I remember my 1st and only city driving/motorway lesson. Shit scared doesnt cut it. But i also remember getting used to it the second time i did it. Drive round a slightly busier town then work up to motorway/city if you're not confident or anxious. And do small trips to start with. Not 2 hour ones

He sounds like a wondeful man who got a little pissed off and had had enough of your behaviour. If you paint yourself out to be a little girl then sadly you'll get treated like one (im not saying you are but judging by your post ans blaming emotion on being a girl, thats how itll come across). And people dont have patience for that when tension is already high. I certainly wouldnt. Id want to get away from the situation.

Listen, crying isnt bad. Neither is handling this emotionally like you did. Its fine. Shit happens. We deal with it in different ways. Nothing wrong with tears. But dont blame it on being a girl...you shouldnt have to defend your reaction when under stress.

I cry over everything. No need to make a big deal of it or blame it on being female. Honestly you should see the way some people deal with their emotions. Makes crying feel perfectly normal lol. And it is. It's not done on purpose. Just how some people react.

Accepting its ok to cry and not justifying or caring if others see it as a bad thing will automatically lessen the pressure you feel when you do get into these situations on its own. I literally just sit in silence breathing calmly until the tears stop now.

Well done for taking everyone's comments on board, op. Can I just say, though that some women on here have spent their adult lives trying to get away from the idea that "girls" are more emotional than "boys", especially at certain times of the month!