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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

At my wit's end

31 replies

dellacucina · 30/07/2018 09:46

I am not sure if I am just being unreasonable.

I feel that I have reached my limit with my partner being dismissive of my feelings, critical, and controlling - however, he says that I am the same. I feel this is just deflection on his part, but how can you tell if you're being unfair?

The most recent example is that he planned a picnic with his friend over the weekend. He made the plan on Saturday for Sunday. I told him that I would want to make something nice to bring along because I am not a fan of packaged food (including all the plastic waste) and my daughter and I have some major allergies between us which makes it difficult to buy food on the fly. He insisted that it would be fine to pick something up at Sainsbury's on the way. I told him I disagreed and I would plan to make something.

Sunday morning, I told him that I had decided to make hummus and some really easy cookies. He immediately informed me it wasn't necessary and we could buy something from a pack. I told him I didn't want to eat food from a pack. This devolved into a shouting match, with him insulting me and saying I always go overboard, I had hijacked his plan for an easy picnic, etc.

This all sounds so petty when I write it out. Things have just reached a point where I can't stand it anymore. I feel that he just makes life so hard.

We also never have sex unless I force the issue. He says if I would be nice everything would be fine, but he doesn't have any interest when I am arguing with him all the time.

I am now trying a new thing where I point out when he is being unpleasant and critical (pretty much all the time). I am refusing to engage when he treats me this way.

As an example, after the picnic we went for a walk and I wanted to move on from the argument and have a nice chat. He said something about how 40 years ago we could have been able to afford a house in the posh neighbourhood where we were walking, and I said something like, but just think, then instead of being a lawyer, I would have been expected to have a more menial job, like a secretary, can you imagine. (there is nothing wrong with being a secretary, but I would find it frustrating to just deal with the admin side of things and I am proud of my abilities as a writer etc).

My point of course was that it would be upsetting to be so limited in opportunities just because I am a woman. He responded by saying, "but you say now that you just want to be a secretary." I responded that of course that isn't true and he said "but you say you want to work in a shop", which is also untrue. The background to this is that I have found it stressful to go back to work post baby and to have to balance so many things, and he constantly complains that I don't make enough money in my relatively family friendly job. I finally put my foot down and told him I will leave him if he keeps insulting my job so I guess this is his way of getting around that restriction.

Rather than allow this to escalate as usual, I just said I was going home and walked off.

The thing is that he undermines me and subtly insults me like this constantly. Is it even possible to break out of this kind of cycle?

I am aware this is quite rambling but I am just looking for perspectives since I am completely out of patience. Is it possible that I am being unreasonable??

OP posts:
SuzanneVaguer · 30/07/2018 10:08

Why are you with him? Is he DD's father?
Life is too short to be this difficult- it's time to call it a day.

Thingsdogetbetter · 30/07/2018 10:10

Do you mean is it possible for YOU to break this cycle? Then no. He could IF he wanted to. But he won't want to because all the negative impacts are on you. Belittling you, controlling you and making you feel responsible for the lack of sex etc makes him feel better. Why would he want to change that? You are in no way unreasonable. It is not unreasonable to expect a loving, respectful, supporting partner. And he is anything but! He has trained you to take all the responsibility, to feel like it's your fault that things aren't right, that your feelings and opinions are worth less than his. He will train you dc the same way. Do you want her feeling like this? Growing up to think her partner belittling and insulting her is normal?

Singlenotsingle · 30/07/2018 10:19

Both of those scenarios would have made me laugh. Why couldn't you have provided some posh food for you and DD, AND him picked up some pre-packed stuff on the way? And as for the job-related stuff, it sounds as though he's a bit on the defensive cos you're a lawyer (I used to be one, and it was quite stressful). What does he do?

dellacucina · 30/07/2018 10:22

He actually is a lawyer too and he makes a lot more money than I do. He seems to believe that I have a duty to make as much as possible.

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dellacucina · 30/07/2018 10:25

I am with him because I once believed that he would be a loving and supportive partner. He is DD's father and I now rely on him for a visa to live in this country

OP posts:
bastardkitty · 30/07/2018 10:25

You just don't sound compatible.

HundredMilesAnHour · 30/07/2018 10:27

It just sounds like you're incompatible. Both situations seem to be mountains made out of molehills but you also that you're "arguing with him all the time"? Do you actually like him? It doesn't sound like you do.

Cricrichan · 30/07/2018 10:31

It just seems like petty arguments to me. You're against packaged food but he just wants to nip in and easily get some stuff already done and not having to complicate things all the time. My sil is lovely but usually complicates stuff and it can get frustrating.

His point about work is also true for many women. Many women once they have children take on a simpler job so they have time and less stress and can look after their children. It sounds like he's frustrated that you're not making the most of your potential or earning power. He doesn't realise how having kids changes you and your priorities.

Melliegrantfirstlady · 30/07/2018 10:31

Why not compromise? Allow him to take what he wants to the picnic and you take your own stuff?

Those little rows are symptomatic of other underlying issues

Maybe you both are incompatible. Have you mentioned splitting up?

SuzanneVaguer · 30/07/2018 10:35

He is DD's father and I now rely on him for a visa to live in this country
Ah, bit tricky then.
It sounds as though neither of you likes the other much, and you're stuck in a situation that you feel you can't change (which probably makes you resent him even more).
Could you have counselling?
What are your options re citizenship/work visa?
Presumably you know some immigration lawyers through work, perhaps, for initial advice?

dellacucina · 30/07/2018 10:40

Of course he could have taken what he wanted to the picnic! The issue was that he objected to my making something I would enjoy. We would have had to supplement either way. I was excited about the idea of having some nice picnic food.

It is possible that I was going overboard. It's just that I really enjoy cooking and I saw a free hour to make good, wholesome food for the family (and to share at the picnic - I asked him to check whether the plan was for everyone to bring their own food or what, and he didn't do this).

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dellacucina · 30/07/2018 10:43

Changing visas would be grim.

We are finally going to counseling at my insistence. He refused to for a long time on the basis that he didn't think we needed it. He came away from the first session with the impression that the counselor believed I needed extra help for my emotional problems since she said she wanted to meet with us each separately (I told her this when I went for my session and she seemed annoyed that he drew this conclusion, and told me it was not true)

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MargoLovebutter · 30/07/2018 10:47

Trying to imagine that he is not just a complete arse, it sounds like you have got stuck in a rut where the communication has broken down completely. You aren't having conversations, you are parrying blows. The argument isn't about the food, it is about vying for control in the relationship. He wants one thing, you another and rather than coming to a compromise, you had a huge row.

Could he be angry about something, or there is something really festering away, but you haven't discussed it?

Babymamamama · 30/07/2018 10:49

I think you are being a bit controlling. He wanted to plan the picnic and keep it laid back and low key. You insisted on making things and it seems you were making some other point about shop bought did not being good enough. In a relationship you have to pick your battles and hold your tongue sometimes especially if it doesn't really matter. Sounds you are both incompatible.

dellacucina · 30/07/2018 11:01

Margo: yes, he is angry because he thinks I am mean to him. I have been very angry and frustrated by a lot of things he has done and I tell him when this happens. I am also very resentful after feeling that he has repeatedly invalidated my feelings and now probably blow up too easily.

Some recent examples of things that upset me are that when we went on holiday in May, he worked the whole time (annoying, but I am able to be sympathetic) and he seemed to take his frustration out on me. for example, I was really excited when one night we went out for dinner and were having a good time and I suggested getting one more drink. (I thought maybe we would finally have sex!) He agreed without complaint and then later blew up at me because now he would not get enough sleep. In the same trip, he was outaged that I would suggest he may want to sit with DD and me on the beach because he wanted to rest. He sat in another area removed from us.

I was quite hurt and angry about both these things and he said I was oversensitive and unreasonable. He said he "just" was annoyed because he needed rest etc

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dellacucina · 30/07/2018 11:04

Babymamamama: I am definitely a food snob and I usually dislike the packaged food options that are available to me - usually only one or two things. I didn't care what he ate. So you think it is controlling to want to choose what I have in this context?

I also wanted to make some non-messy and safe food for my toddler. He was really offended when I told him (not in front of friends) that I did not think he should have give her whole olives

OP posts:
dellacucina · 30/07/2018 11:15

Some of these comments are making me wonder if I am too easily set off. We seem to have gotten into a situation where we just fight all the time. I feel that he attacks and criticises me constantly. If I am able to just ignore this or stand up for myself in the moment and then drop it, could this possibly help?

Examples: walking away when he puts me down rather than yelling, telling him I am going to make some hummus if I want to, ignoring him when he wakes up (as this morning) and immediately complains at me for leaving my laptop on the floor, without even saying good morning

OP posts:
MargoLovebutter · 30/07/2018 11:34

You need to break this cycle. I bet you are probably both really nice, decent people and you've got caught in this power struggle.

Just think about the olives. Did anything bad happen from your toddler eating whole olives - presumably destoned? If nothing bad happened, why would you feel the need to say that he shouldn't have given them too her? Of course he is going to feel hacked off that you criticised him for it. Imagine he had said that to you - how would you feel?

You are not thinking about each other at all, you are point scoring. You need to somehow get back to "safe communication".

It is great that you are having counselling. Couples often need separate sessions, so that they can talk freely about themselves and then come back together again to try and work through what has gone wrong in their own dynamic.

dellacucina · 30/07/2018 11:59

Thanks, yes, I am hoping that the counseling will help. We unfortunately have been put on a fortnightly schedule, so it is very slow going.

OP posts:
Cricrichan · 30/07/2018 12:11

I wouldn't have fed whole olives to a toddler - bit of a choking hazard!

Babymamamama · 30/07/2018 12:13

OP Honestly you need to pick your battles and chill out a bit. Because if you keep going like this the relationship will fail. If your toddler has teeth of course they can eat whole olives as long as they are de-stoned.

dellacucina · 30/07/2018 12:30

Babymamamama, I am very resentful of him due to other big issues not addressed here. He has not done anything hugely, overtly terrible in a while, but I am finding it hard to move on. (Example: he glared at me and shushed me for months if I talked about my pregnancy in a public space in our house because we had lodgers at the time and he wanted to keep it a secret from them)

Any advice?

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dellacucina · 30/07/2018 12:57

Margo, do you have any advice other than counseling?

Do you agree with my approach of just shutting him down and not engaging when he is mean or unfair to me?

OP posts:
dellacucina · 30/07/2018 13:08

Or would you even propose a softer approach, like ignoring the criticism and just being as nice and noncritical as possible myself?

I have nightmares about DF choking. It's one of the things I fear most.

OP posts:
dellacucina · 30/07/2018 13:09

**DD

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