Social services being involved

[786Unknown]

I was pregnant and was dealt with an assault with my ex partner was i was 3 months pregnant wasnt anything big but he pushed my with intent. I seperated and moved away. When my child was born i was ok for him to see her under supervision. Everything was well up until he lost it one day and pushed me again i called the police once again and put a statement through. Next day he was at my door step crying and begging to come in he got suicidal and told me he would hurt himself outside my door step. I got scared and let him my daughter was sound asleep when this had happened and hour later the police arrived i didnt inform them they came and searched the house and found him i lied to them by panicking and said he wasnt here and then they found him. Before going the police told me it wouldnt look good with the social services i admit to breaking the rules and letting him in but i was all done in fear i couldve called the police but i didnt want to take my phone put infront of him and ring incase he got violent i was plannjng on reporting as soon as he left. I showed the police evidence to where he was getting suicidal over text and they took pictures of the text. I am now scared the social servies ate going to come and take my baby away because i let him in and lied.

I guess it will look like your failing to protect your child.

He's emotionally blackmailing you. Trust me, he would not have done anything to hurt himself. And if he did that's not your responsibility. Your responsibility is protecting your child at all costs, not some drama llama bloke.

If SS get involved then they get involved. You need to stop seeing this man and stop letting him emotionally blackmail you. Don't let him into your home.

Why did the police arrive while he was there?
You shouldn't have let him in, but you know that. SS will be concerned you are not protecting your daughter from him. Have you had any further contact with him since this?

Have you spoken to Women's Aid? They can help.

Have you thought of engaging them yourself? SS are not keen on removing children but do offer a lot of family support including helping you engage with other services to support you and your child - and even your ex partner to get mental health support etc.

I think you absolutely have to keep this man away from your child unless it is supervised - in future you need to report it to police or someone if he says he's suicidal and leave him to it.

How on earth did the police know he was there? Absolutely no way you should have let him in, no matter what he was threatening to do to himself. Why wpuld you care if he hurt himself? You definitely shouldn't have lied to the police when they turned up.

I don't know what to say other than, you should not have let him in. And if you didn't want him there, why would you lie to police?

Why not be relieved and tell them where he was immediately, so they could remove him.

Protecting your child has to come in front of worrying about him hurting himself.

If he turns up again, you need to call police asap.

How did the police know to turn up if you didnt call them? Did he make so much of a disturbance that one of your neighbours called?

Look, lying to the police is never a good idea. Lying to the police when oyu are continually relying on them for help is an even more stupid idea. Lying to the police when a small child's welfare is at stake is so stupid that it baffles me how anyone could think it was a good idea.

Get onto Social Services yourself. Ask for their help. Block your moron boyfriend on your phone, and DO NOT LET HIM IN. People like him use threats of suicide and self-harm to manipulate people like you. Stop engaging with him, and you take away his power.

Social care will be concerned that you lied and that you let him on. You need to be completely honest with the social worker, hold your hands up, admit where you went wrong (due to the manipulation) but be clear that you want to protect your child and would benefit from help to do so. If you co-operate with them, are honest, stay separated and also seek legal advice to keep him away (ie an injunction, restraining order or non molestation order) then they will see you are protecting your child and won't remove him/ her. Social services don't want to remove your child but probably will lay it on the line that if you lie to professionals and don't protect your child then this is what it could come to.

I know it looks like im failing to protect my daughter and i done what i did because i panicked. Hes never hurt our daughter hes always loved her to bits. It between us both whatevers happened. I am seeking legal adbice and will go on to do what ever it takes i lied becauee i panicked honestly i was very scared.

His car was parked on my street thats how they knew. I have done everything to keep away from him now. The police said the same thjng that i couldve whispered or pointed and said he was thefe instead of lying and theyre right but it was on the spot and i lied cause i got scared. I really dont want my daughter to be taken off me and ill do whatever i can shes the best thing thats ever happened to me my heart was in the right place id never put her in danger even though it looks like i did. Im scared of tomorrow that there wpuld be a knock at my door and they would take her away from my arms. I have provided everything for her theres nothing my daughter is lacking on she has people who adore her i care for her if iv done anything its this one thing and honest to god i regret it i havent slept a blink at night dreading it

I havent contacted him since then neither do i intent to im staying at my mums for a while incase he comes back.

You let an emotionally unstable man Into the house where your child was sleeping. Sorry but I do hope SS get involved

It was stupid to let him in, but you already know that. The important thing now is how you move forward. Social services will most likely want to work with you to ensure that you are able to protect your DD in the future, so listen and follow through on any advice they give. Staying at your mums seems like a good idea short term, but you need to look into getting a restraining order in place to keep him away from you and if he does turn up again ring the police straight away.

When you talk to SS just be honest with them, tell them you know what you did was wrong and that you will never let it happen again. Don’t make it sound like an excuse but try to explain that he was manipulating you and that you need (and will accept) any help to stop this happening again. You could ask for them to arrange for you to complete the freedom program, to help you see through his manipulation in future.

I have no experience in this but one thing is clear - your main concern is that they don’t take your daughter away. And he’s not a danger because he’s not hurt her. (YET!?)

Your main concern should be “I need to protect my daughter from danger. He is dangerous.”

That is what social services are trying to do. Show them you have the same goal.

He is that much of a danger to you, that the police routinely patrol near your house looking for signs of him?

They spotted a random car, parked up, and decides to investigate it?

Really?

No they knew his reg plate number and he was wanted for the statement i done agaisnt him. Thats why.

The SS are involved and thats not my concern as i do not care about being involved i want to better my future for my child and if they can follow through with me and help me then thats more than enough for me. What i am worried and concern about is them removing my child off me completely.

So why did they look for him at your home? This is pure nonsense.

And they had a good idea he was going to outside yours.

So either they feel he is a very real danger to you (and think he may stalk you) or they had a very good idea you would let him back.

Also sounds like there wasn't much time between you speaking to the police and you letting him in the house.

If you let this man near you or your child they will eventually remove the child.

But if next time he threatens to commit suicide or WHATEVER, and you panic again then you will let him in again, won't you? Why are you not 'worried and concerned' about that? You are full of excuses for yourself. Thank goodness SS are worried and concerned about your child.

SS are completely correct that you cannot protect your child. You are even claiming that he would never hurt her, so you are even excusing him and minimising his behaviour. You are a risk to your child.

It’s really hard to remove a child from a family. You would immediately know if they were trying to pursue that. If you have no further contact and he doesn’t stay with you I can’t see they would want to take your child away.

They will support you further, so that your child stays safe, but by supporting you to make better choices.

Iv not lied in this thread about anything why you saying this is nonsense if i wanted to lie i didnt have ro go online to make a thread. As i said they looked for him in my house as his car was on top of the street where else do you think theyll check not my next doors now are they. Sorry but if you arent going to talk to me in a cilivised mannar please keep you opinions to your self as im upset so much these are the things i do not want to hear i want to hear facts im not saying i did something good. Yes there wasnt much time at all thats why he came and was being how he was being i didnt want him doing anything stupid im a woman as a human who is scared to see somebody dead outside her doorstep i was worried yes i should have rang the police immediately but my mistake that is costing me so much at this rate i didnt call the police i do not mind the social services being involved at all as i am not a bad mother i can stay away from him im not deluded enough to go back again when i know so much is at stake and how he is i wouldnt jepodise my daughter over a man i love her more as i have before iv moved towns and stayed away for the rest of my pregnancy from 4 months onwards till she was 1 month old iv not neglected my child shes a happy baby she was fed nappy changed and fast asleep safe and sound im not scared of the SS being involved at all i want them to understand me and help me instead of making a fast decision and taking her away from me. Im on this thread today asking for what do you think will happen and what i should do not for opinions on what you think of me as a mother.

There seems to a lot of information deliberately omitted from your OP. If you want to come on here to ask for help/advice, at least provide the readers with a truthful version of events.

Thanks trinity. Thats all i want to know. Hope you all understand i will be getting a non molestation order on him and do whatever i can to make the whole situation beter