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Original poster

I'm too boring for him

29 replies

iamapixiebutnotaniceone · 26/07/2018 00:46

Partner of 17 years this week has told me that I am just too dull and boring for him. I probably am but I am heavily pregnant and already have HIS four children to take care of! I already know that he's only still here because of our children, I knew he was bored of me but to hear it from him hurts. I spend my spare time at home attempting to rest when I can, peace and quiet is rare in our house and it is exhausting for me right now. I don't even have the energy for my hobbies, let alone entertaining him! His spare time is spent at the gym. I don't begrudge him that but I feel like while I've spent the best part of the last decade having baby after baby for him, getting less attractive and more tired and worn out all of the time, he's out bettering himself and obviously feeling like he can do better than me now. It really feels like one great big smack in the face! I'm not bloody boring, I'm just exhausted and there is not a thing I can do about it!

OP posts:
madcatladyforever · 26/07/2018 01:07

I can't tell you what a mouthful he would get if he was my husband and probably a spade round the back of the head - how dare he?
You deserve better than this arse Flowers

Fairytalefaye · 26/07/2018 01:21

Instead of beating yourself up, ask yourself what he can do for you, he should be more involved with the children, he should take them off your hands whenever he can and you will start to feel like you again which will improve the relationship because your happier, you need to stand up for yourself and tell him that your tired and what you need from him to help. If he truly cares about you he will listen, your supposed to be a couple and work as one, both stop being selfish (I'm not calling you selfish, I just mean that people tend to get selfish in arguments or disagreements) and work a way forward together. Sit down on your own and write a list of things that could help you and get him to do the same then compare lists and start off by doing one at time consistently

Zommum · 26/07/2018 01:30

Next time he says something like that, laugh, laugh so much you need to wipe tears from your eyes. Then just waddle to the toilet saying that's funny coming from you, I'm sorry I have to pee.
Don't explain yourself, if he questions you just giggle and say oh you are a crack up (or an English saying for funny person).
Let him start to worry about if he is boring, this should knock his confidence.

Graphista · 26/07/2018 01:35

You (plural) have 4 DC and another on the way - he does NOT have time for the gym! Because he should be bloody well at home parenting!

He'd get a mouthful from me too! Selfish twat!

Cawfee · 26/07/2018 03:40

You should begrudge him the gym! You are heavily pregnant with 4 kids and he’s swanning around, acting like he’s single and disrespecting you. It’s not good enough. It’s crap and he’s crap. How many evenings is he going to the gym? How many hours per week is having all of the kids so that you get a break?

387I2 · 26/07/2018 03:57

You're perfectly good enough as you are, it's not your job to "entertain" your husband by becoming or pretending to be someone else. See what the others have said already.

MrsTerryPratchett · 26/07/2018 04:37

I wonder where his idea of an interesting women is coming from... I'd be very suspicious.

Cawfee · 26/07/2018 05:11

I think he’s mucking around at the gym. Time to get angry and rip his disrespectful arse a new one. Tell him if he’s so bored to sling his arse and you’ll be dropping all the kids off at his new place for his regular Friday through till Monday weekends. See how “boring” his life is when he’s sorting out the kids on his own 50% of the time. Then when he’s got them, you get your “me time” back. If I was you, I’d be pissing all over his parade

BitOutOfPractice · 26/07/2018 05:40

Did you have any say in the number and timing of children? Because the way you write sounds like you didn't.

He sounds like an arse. A lazy one st that.

Is there someone else catching his eye?

Mary1935 · 26/07/2018 05:49

Hi OP you are so boring he wants you kept to the kitchen sink. Do you do everything at home?
What are his redeeming features?
How often is he at the gym - if I were you on Saturday I’d go out and leave him to it all day. No contact and make yourself unavailable to him. Do you go out at all or do things as a family.
Another selfish arse!!!
Are you married and do you own your own property.
His head may have been turned. How often does he go.
You are not there to entertain him. What exactly does he bring to the party?
I hope you have some real life support.

Ryder63 · 26/07/2018 06:26

So you have a fifth child on the way and he now decides you're boring? Not too boring to breed with though.....get him to do his share of parenting instead of prancing off to the gym!

user1493413286 · 26/07/2018 06:30

How dare he! I’m probably quite boring since just having one child as with work, the house, life admin I have no time to think about myself but I don’t see that as my fault and if I did have some time I’d do something for me

OhThereItIs · 26/07/2018 06:39

Could you tell him you've thought about it and he is right. You've therefore decided to take two evenings off per week to do things that are interesting to you.

TeacupTattoo · 26/07/2018 06:40

This is so disrespectful. I'm sorry you experienced it. I have six children, four still at home, sometimes my husband or I go out alone - usually he fishing or I for a cuppa with friends - but most of the time we are both of us parenting and enjoying our exhausting family! He would not dream of being so rude to the mother of his children and he knows I would split if he did! You deserve to be respected for all that you do and you do not want your children thinking it is ok to demean you. Try saying this baldly, calmly but very plainly, and it might shock him into better behaviour. Personally though, I think he is looking at gym women if not more than looking. You would be more peaceful without a childish adult draining your energy you know, I discovered that when I was a single parent. I wish you all the best, please don't put yourself down like him.

SomethingCleverandWitty · 26/07/2018 07:48

You're not too boring for him. You're too good for him!

What makes him such a bloody circus? Is he fun, entertaining & adventurous all the time? I bet not. But of course he has a penis so it's not his job to keep life exciting, it's yours as his wife like everything else I imagine.

What a prize twat. Flowers

strawberrisc · 26/07/2018 07:55

Oooh. Tnis gives you a fabulous opportunity to act out of character and be as fa from boring as possible. I’m thinking tuna in his suit pockets, sewing cress on the back footwells of his car. Getting someone to look after the kids, go out and don’t tell him where...

Shoxfordian · 26/07/2018 07:59

He's unkind to you op
Don't put up with his shit. He's boring. He's an idiot.

Biologifemini · 26/07/2018 08:01

If he wants some excitement then tell him that if he wants, you can leave him with the x5 kids for a few days.
And also mention the divorce and child maintenance bill he will be getting when he gets caught with the girl down the gym.

Katgurl · 26/07/2018 08:30

How dare he? You've carried five children for him and he's at the gym most nights. He is not bettering himself, he's being a rubbish dad.

What do you want from life? Surely not to be a slave to him and your children?

Tell him things are going to change. You need him home. You are going to focus on yourself for a bit and hobbies that make you feel good. He is going to spend more time with you and the children.

If he won't agree to some changes then tell him that his opinion of you is irrelevant as you will be leaving him.

Nobody deserves to be treated like that. The utter cheek of him.

Colabottle10 · 26/07/2018 09:31

Not so boring he managed to fuck you 5 times though eh?

Twat.

Why exactly are you putting up with this?

hellsbellsmelons · 26/07/2018 12:46

Can you get away for the weekend?
Just leave him to deal with the kids on his own and see how he gets on with it all.
Maybe then he can see what you have to deal with!

SoyDora · 26/07/2018 12:53

What makes him so interesting?

Bluntness100 · 26/07/2018 12:59

Did you both want the children? I'd agree your op is written as if you did it for him and you had no real choice.

It seems you're both in a bad position. Four kids with a fifth on the way and neither of you happy.

Telling you you're dull and boring is horrible behaviour. As Much as causing world war three may be tempting, I'd probably sit down and chat, realign responsibilities, ensure you both have me time.

Do you wish to stay with him? If so why?

IsaidMrDarcynotArsey · 26/07/2018 13:17

Pay a visit to the gym in your current condition, with all the kids in tow ... that’ll put a hitch in his giddy up ! If someone interesting is at the gym they’ll see him in a whole new light.

AgentJohnson · 26/07/2018 16:10

He’s an obvious knob but you’re also a martyr. I don’t get the “I feel like while I've spent the best part of the last decade having baby after baby for him, getting less attractive and more tired and worn out all of the time”, like somehow you had no say in the matter? Weren’t your children a joint decision. It sounds like neither of you really thought through the realities of having such a large family and what impact that would have on your time and the dynamics of your relationship. I’m not knocking having a large family, if that’s what you want but I do object to you making it sound like a selfless act on your part.

Where to go from here, obviously there’s been a complete lack of communication on both sides and and as tactless and ignorant as your H comment was, this could be a catalyst to more open and honest dialogue and taking joint responsibility for where your relationship is at.