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Seriously how do you meet someone decent?

27 replies

newfunahead · 23/07/2018 20:48

I've been single for about a year and a half and I would love to meet someone new.

I tried a dating evening but it was full of older People. I have done abit of online dating but I often feel the guys are after one thing or too full on. And when I go out I do meet people but they often don't seem right. Any ideas?

OP posts:
HolyPieter · 23/07/2018 20:55

The very few decent men are always taken, unfortunately.

Only the worst of the dregs seem to be single, and even then they demand far, far more than they are worth.

newfunahead · 23/07/2018 20:57

Oh nooooo are we doomed then Shock

OP posts:
Mrsfluff · 23/07/2018 21:17

I met my partner OLD, luckily I didn't have to kiss too may frogs! I was shocked by how many men 20/30years old than me messaged Shock Hmm

scolotti · 23/07/2018 21:20

I feel the same! I don't want to try online dating, so just wondering where I'll ever meet someone. I have a few guys I'm talking too and things but no one thats worth being serious about.

AWomanIsAnAdultHumanFemale · 23/07/2018 21:22

Only the worst of the dregs seem to be single

Well thanks!

DragonScales · 23/07/2018 21:29

Join a club where there are loads of men but not too many women, I found going to salsa dancing there were about 15 females and only 5 men 4 of whom had been dragged there by their wives but joining a cycling club the ratios are reversed.....or go watch a cricket match (they have pimms, lots of male spectators, it's slow moving so plenty of time to chat with people)

bakingdemon · 23/07/2018 21:30

I told all my friends that I wanted to be set up with their eligible friends (and gave them a shortlist of non negotiable things). A friend set me up on a blind date with the man who's now my DH. I'd recommend letting people know you're available.

elQuintoConyo · 23/07/2018 21:32

Emigrate. I moved to Italy and met a Basque guy with a Dublin accent on my first day Grin still here 20 years later.

I'd recommend joining clubs - because you want to join them, not as a heat-seeking missile in slingbacks Grin many people meet their future partners when they least expect it

IsTheRainEverComingBack · 23/07/2018 21:32

newfunahead how old are you?

sillyswimmer · 23/07/2018 21:32

I met my DP on POF. On paper he didn't seem much of a catch but something about his profile and his messages intrigued me. It turned out that he's got a heart of gold and is the perfect match for me, despite being complete opposites. He's the exact type of man I rejected when I first started online dating because it wasn't what I thought I wanted.

I found online dating easier and met much better men once I stopped taking it seriously and used it as a bit of fun to meet different types of people. Two months later I met DP.

Mrspig86 · 23/07/2018 21:34

I worked part time in a golf club alongside my day job, and met lots of decent single men aswell as a couple of great female friends

scolotti · 23/07/2018 21:35

Joining a club is a good idea, but which one Confused I seem like all I do is work, and spend time with my workmates or my son!

Maria1982 · 23/07/2018 21:37

elQuintoConyo That made me laugh! Also I love your username (I’m half Spanish )

TheFaerieQueene · 23/07/2018 21:37

I met my DH at work. 😍 a long time ago.

MarthaArthur · 23/07/2018 21:48

I'm on OLD and all I meet are either social weirdos/ serial killer types and men with over inflated egos.

scolotti · 23/07/2018 21:56

Martha 😂

madcatladyforever · 23/07/2018 21:57

I have no idea I've not managed it in 60 years.
I think I'd have to agree with elquinto - emigrate.

NotTheFordType · 23/07/2018 22:02

Up your screening. Don't talk to just any idiot who messages you.

Decide what you want from a partner, and take up a hobby that will bring you into contact with those men. (Or women.)

Have a straight male single friend look over your dating profile and give you a searingly honest appraisal.

MarthaArthur · 23/07/2018 22:11

Personally the serial killers are the most charmingHmm

newfunahead · 24/07/2018 08:02

Istherain - I'm in my early 30's Smile

OP posts:
newfunahead · 24/07/2018 08:04

Scolotti - I'm with you I'm not sure what kind of club to join. I don't think cricket or golf would be my kind of thing and I'm very busy with work and my daughter! It would have to be something I enjoy which may also have a lot of men there

I'm thinking maybe a martial art or kickboxing class. There has to be lots of men at those and it can also help me improve my fitness

OP posts:
swingofthings · 24/07/2018 08:34

Unfortunately, find that perfect partner is not a case of improving your skills to find him, it is very much a case of having to be patient, whilst focusing on being happy for yourself.

I think many relationship fails because ultimately, people are -understandably-to desperate to find this other person and become too dependent too quickly on them to affect their happiness. As such, most are prepared to put a lot of efforts to start with, which is assumed by the other to be how they normally are, to fall down from the tree when they start to relax and show that their true self is not as perfect.

So my advice is, be yourself, try to enjoy your life as it is, and consider that finding someone to share all this with is just a bonus to life. If you are happy and active in life, people will come to you like magnet wherever you are.

If you do decide to try dating site, treat it as a fun experiment that was worth the laugh even if it amounts to nothing rather than an end to a mean. And as sillyswimmer said, don't go for the obvious ones (as the majority of women will go for), give those who might not have the best picture, or the amazing exciting profile, but who takes time and shows an interest in getting to to know you.

mogratpineapple · 24/07/2018 08:35

Go see live bands. I'm married so not looking out for anyone, but meet loads of men (as well as others but mostly men). You start off talking about the music and it goes from there. There have been some really decent men, too, but as I said, I'm married so didn't take them up on it (the offer to meet up again).

ShatnersWig · 24/07/2018 08:37

The very few decent men are always taken, unfortunately

Thanks a lot.

sexnotgender · 24/07/2018 08:37

I met my truly wonderful husband OLD. You have to weed out the crazies though. I was also pretty ruthless!

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