Is he a mean guy or just tight (or both) or am I a grabby cow?

[superflyguy]

Been seeing someone for 10 months, met OLD and taking it fairly slowly. We recently met each others kids, all well and good.

He has a nice personality, we get on well but a few things are niggling at me... When I met his kids I brought them a little, gift - nothing big just a little treat to have after we'd eaten. But i deliberately thought about this and picked out something I thought they'd like. He met mine (I have one) only a few days after her birthday. He asked her if she'd had a good birthday but didn't give her a card or present. I'm not at all expecting anything big but I was a bit disappointed that he came empty handed.

We spent the afternoon doing an activity which I paid for and afterwards my little one asked for a milkshake which I also bought.

I think I just have quite a different nature in that respect, eg at xmas I gave him two token presents to pop in their stocking - we'd been together about 3 months at that point. He didn't reciprocate.

He has a good job etc., so it's not because he couldn't afford to be more generous. At the risk of sounding terrible - I'm honestly not grabby but I like a bit of romance - he hasn't bought me a single random present/treat (I've had a xmas gift and valentine flowers) since we met and we always split the bill.

If he earns more than you it does seem a bit tight that he so religiously splits the bill - especially when you often buy small thoughtful gifts.

This would annoy me. Can't stand splitting the bill each time. Would rather take turns. He really does sound tight and I couldn't be with someone like that as I am very generous. Lifes too short.

I'd bin him off, to be blunt. Not because of the presents, but splitting every bill fifty fifty. Maybe I'm old fashioned, but I expect the man to refuse offers to split the bill

I think your confusing the term 'old-fashined' with the word 'sexist'.

Well put, DerelictWreck.

Exactly DerelictWreck

I have a good friend that measures her husbands devotion by the gifts he gives. There must be flowers and dinner on Valentine’s Day and a big birthday must equal a big gift in line with the value spent on him. It works for them, but it’s very different to my own relationship and I ofte wonder if I’m doing DH out of gifts

I can actually see it a little bit OP , for me I think it's more about the thought than the gift maybe?

I am by far the higher earner in my relationship and I feel personally it is right to pay the higher bills , but I am truly awful at buying little gifts , I do all the time for my DC but I don't always think to for DP

However he often comes home with something cheap but thoughtful....the other night we have just moved and managed to lose a bag of my beauty stuff and he saw some keratin shampoo in Lidl and completely out of the blue he came home with it ( he has less than no idea what keratin is but said that it looked special and like a option so he figured it would be good)

Now look reality is that I pay far more out every month than he does but honestly those little things mean the world to me and I would class him as far more romantic than me

I think I can see it's the thought that counts and the consideration...again DP will see something in a charity shop that the DC would love ( and he always gets it bang on) and will get it...its not about presents and money it's about the thought