Ins and outs of Whatsapp

[Idontknowenough]

Good morning everyone. NC because I'm somewhat embarrassed to ask this question. I'm just wondering if anyone knows the full scope of WhatsApp and sex? I suspect my DP is masturbating using Whatsapp. What worries me is that as far as I'm aware, it's a messaging platform. Is there more to it? I have no issue with masturbation and I know he watches porn but if he is messaging someone with regard to sex, then we have a problem.

Any information would be greatly appreciated.

Hi, WhatsApp is a messaging app. You can send texts, videos, pictures, and make video and voice calls.

Arevyoy worried he is receiving images or videos from someone?

It’s just like texting someone

Thanks for your reply Booboo. Yeah I'm worried because I know he was on WhatsApp whilst wanking yesterday and the same happened a few months back. When it was a few months back it suddenly stopped after about two weeks of it and now it seems to have started up again as of this weekend.

I tried Googling to see if webcams girls use WhatsApp to talk to their customers but I couldn't find much information. Perhaps it's old videos or photos he has pre-me but I'm feeling a bit anxious about things at the moment, hence me feeling the need to look.

Thanks again for answering and clarifying it's a messaging app.

It's a messaging app but you can do video calls (in the same way you can use Skype or Facetime).

Also, Whatsapp won't show specifically on a mobile bill - it shows as 'internet usage' rather than number of texts sent, so there are no identifiable mobile numbers shown.

Unfortunately it's great for hiding stuff unless you have access to the phone itself and can look under the relevant tabs, although the app does log actual whatsapp phone calls and message volumes. Someone else may know more...

I tried Googling to see if webcams girls use WhatsApp to talk to their customers but I couldn't find much information

I can only speak for myself but yes I offer private shows via WhatsApp for £25/10 mins.

It's equally possible that a friend sent him a link to a free porn vid and he was wanking to that.

How do you know he was on WhatsApp though? Unless you could see physically see him on the phone or have it installed yourself, you wouldn't know.

Just a quick question, how do you know he was on whatsapp at the time?
Is that because you know he was masturbating and it said he was 'online' on whatsapp on your phone? Sometimes it takes a while for the 'online' to turn off.
Not sure if webcam girls operate online it is possible I assume. Wouldn't he need their mobile number in his phone to connect?

Thanks for the your help Wallis and Ineednewshoes.

I'll have to watch and wait and see what happens. It doesn't seem good though.

What is it with men and masturbation and messaging at the same time?

Friend recently found out her husband had been chatting to random stranger met on Online dating, via Kik

So he goes into the bathroom, isn't it grim holding phone with one hand

Why not just watch porn

Tattycat - thanks for your help. His phone is stuck to him most of the time so I could never see his usage. I use WhatsApp myself for communicating with my family so I can see when he is online. He's turned his "last seen" date stamp off so it will only show when he is currently online. Apparently it's more accurate than the date stamp.

Notthefordtype - thank you for the information, it's really helpful to know. Also, do guys send each other porn?? I had no idea.

Iputthescrewintuna - thanks for answering. Yes I knew he was wanking whilst it was showing he was online on WhatsApp. I watched it saying online for about 20 minutes long. Can the delay be that long? In the past when I've watched his online frequency I have purposely walked in our bedroom to see if he would hide the fact he was on WhatsApp, he did and when I left the room it wasn't showing as online anymore, not until I was downstairs again.

I will add that I regularly get random messages on WhatsApp and friend requests on Facebook asking me to hookup etc

The Facebook ones are phishing scams and the WhatsApp ones are a combination of phishing and people selling cam shows etc.

If he’s using it over WiFi it won’t show up on any bill. Lots of people don’t realise that Whatsapp generates a new photo folder on the iPhone (can’t say for android devices but I would assume it does) and any images recieved get stored there. Loads of people don’t notice it because it gets added at the end of all the other folders. You can look there if you feel the need.

I don't get how you have Whatsapp but didn't know it was a messaging app?

Thanks Cambshusband that's really useful to know, thanks for the feedback.

Chocolateandcoffeeaddict - I wrote in my original post that "as far as I'm aware, it is a messaging platform." but I was wondering if there was anything more to it, such as access to porn or webcam use.

No, 20 mins is quite a long time, even if it is running in the background it would still go offline after 5ish minutes... I think.

Iputthescrewintuna - thanks for getting back to me. I think if he was messaging someone he might be on and offline (?) but 20 mins solid might mean porn vid, cam girl or like the Skype thing.

I'm not really sure where to go from here but knowing WhatsApp's full capabilities is really helpful. Thanks to everyone's input and shedding light on this for me.

He could’ve been watching porn but not fully closed whatsapp which would explain why it said he was still ‘online’

tbh though I find this post weird.

You use WhatsApp but aren’t aware of what it is?

You don’t trust him clearly. That’s a bigger issue rather than you wondering what whatsapp is

I don’t know why you’re spending your energy and time checking on his status and whether he’s online or not? I couldn’t give a toss if my partner is online... in fact I honestly have never checked?

In my experience people only turn off their “last seen” when they are either avoiding someone or trying to hide their WhatsApp activity. There’s only one person in my list that doesn’t have the last seen as active and she recently gave birth to twins! So she probably did that as she’s pretty busy! There’s always a reason people specifically turn that off.

It sounds like you already had grounds for suspicion so while there “may” be some innocent explanations there are also non innocent ones. You probably know which it is.

Have an explore on your own app to get familiar with it. Look under the network storage and usage section in settings. It shows you how many messages and calls have been sent and the phone numbers. Also, if you go into chats and swipe down it will show you any archived messages he may be hiding.
If you do manage to get your hand on his phone for 5 mins then you will know what you are looking for. And if you do then take photos of everything with your own phone.
I know a lot of people don't agree with snooping, and I hope your situation doesn't turn out to be anything horrible but My husband was using WhatsApp to contact prostitutes.

Chippyway - Thanks, that's a great point; the possibility that he was watching porn whilst having other apps open. I hadn't considered that.

I do know that WhatsApp is a messenger service (said in OP) but wanted to know if it had other facets I was unaware of. In a nutshell, why would my DP be tossing off to WhatsApp if it's just messages? Does that he mean he is sexting or is there a possibility of porn? I was hoping for the latter answer.

You're right, I don't trust him because of past dodgy behaviour which he denies (updated dating profile, odd use of phone and disappearing acts all weekend leaving me holding the babies - his WhatsApp use was through the roof at that time and secretive). I'm try by to make things work but he's acting differently at the moment and as a result I'm feeling skittish. I only check his usage when I feel something is off. I'd much rather not check and feel at peace but I'm trying to protect myself. Thanks for your help and feedback.

Storm4star- yeah he only turned the "last seen" off when he first started acting dodgy. Thanks for your help.

MrsGaslighted - yeah I've had a little look at my WhatsApp but don't know it's full capabilities yet. I'll explore more this afternoon. His phone is pretty much glued to him, he's always been like that with it. I leave mine around all the time but he takes his everywhere. Thanks for your help.

Whatever he is doing, I think you need to ask yourself if this is how you want your life to be. I was with someone who would take his phone to the toilet and be gone for 20 minutes at a time. In my heart I knew he was talking to other women (he had form) and I can still remember the sick, anxious feelings I used to get. His phone was always locked, he didn’t go anywhere without it and, if we were sitting together on the sofa or something, he’d put it screen face down on the table. It took me a while to really understand that “normal” people don’t act that way with their phones. And that the level of anxiety I felt every time he disappeared with it or it buzzed with a message, wasn’t how I should be feeling all the time. It’s so much nicer to have a life without that stress.

Storm4star - That is precisely how I'm feeling. My anxiety is through the roof and I'm tired of reading into everything he says and does but we have a family and I don't know what action to take. He puts his phone upside down too and when I asked him about it, he defensively answered "don't you trust me?!" This was before he started disappearing which incidentally he isn't currently doing but wondering if it's the start of something. Also when I questioned him about the dating profile and he denied etc and got me to back down, he said if I ask him again, the relationship will be over. I guess I'm looking for concrete evidence and trying to prepare and protect myself. I just know he's acting odd again and I feel horrendous. Thanks for sharing your experience too, it really helps

And before anyone has a go at this lady, I would say the vast majority of people only snoop when they have good reason to do so and it’s self preservation and they can’t all just up and ltb that easily

Thanks yetmorecrap, you're right I don't want to be oblivious if he is being duplicitous (and I'm currently getting a bad feeling about things), I'd rather know and then take action. It's not weird that he had a wank, it's weird that it might have been to WhatsApp if it's messaging someone and he forfeit dinner with the kids and I to do it.