Why can't I just tell him to F off?

[dilly123]

Very long story so I'll try to be brief..
Known him 5 years.. initially it was a fwb casual thing he called it off ..(well, stopped texting like a coward).. remained on ok terms would say hello if bumped into one another.. for me he was the one, my feelings for him stopped me getting involved with anyone else. Fast forward a couple of years & he asked if we could try again, properly & we dated for a few months until once again the contact stopped.. hurt & humiliated once again people's "I told you so's" ringing in my ears I picked myself up & carried on. Stayed on ok terms as were in same social circles.. I have dated 1 person since but it didn't work out, he apparently has not dated since.. I was still drawn to him in the last couple of years but less so of late.. his personality is not attractive & in my heart I know we are not suited for various reasons (I don't think he'll ever think I'm good enough for him)..

Today out of the blue he gets in touch indicated interest again.. I said it was nice to hear from him when I know I should of said thanks but no thanks... I'm not sure I even want to go there again.. he makes me feel inadequate & needy (although I'm really not, in fact I'm quite emotionally unattached except for my children).. I don't even feel flattered my 1st thought was he & his mate were winding me up..

I need to move on once & for all don't I?

Easiest post ever on MN.

Yes. Fuck him off.

Have some respect for yourself and block him!

It sounds like He uses you are his 'fuck buddy' when he's bored lonely and needs to boost his ego without any commitment....

he sounds like a Dick OP...

you deserve so so so much better

Block. Delete. Have a cry. Drink wine. Go to bed. Get up tomorrow and never contact him again. He'd drop you if he felt he got a better offer immediately. HTH.

The guy is clearly a total Wankmaggot.

Tell him in no uncertain terms to fuck right off. He had his chance, he blew it. That's not your problem, it's his.

Much love x

The best thing you can do to deflate an ego like that is ignore, ignore, ignore. Not a single word of reply.Then block. Don’t block straight away, as he’ll see that as getting a reaction, but eventually.

Yeah this guy doesn't have your best interests at heart, he's just using you when he's having a dry spell or bored as he knows you have/had feelings for him. Sorry, I'm not trying to insult you, the fault is with him for being an absolute wank badger. Google Baggage Reclaim, Natalie Lue will answer why he calls out of the blue etc. She'll advise no contact, it's the only way to get rid of these chancers. Good luck!

You are his reliable booty call. Save yourself the drama and block the twat.

Ignore.

Block.

Sanity and dignity preserved.

Confession time... I didn't listen to these words of wisdom.. I let him back in my life.. convinced myself it will be fine, just fwb no feelings.. went into it cool as a cucumber 🥒 it was him who talked of holidays & future plus one events.. all was ok, he seemed different, we got on better then bam ghosted again!! He hasn't even got the bollocks to say I'm sorry this is not for me.. just nothing.. I last saw him on Monday & nothing since would usually see each other Saturday night.. no message.. I WhatsApp him a casual "you up to much later"? & left on read..

How fucking rude.. I promise you & myself I've deleted & will never respond again!!! That's the last time he will hurt & humiliate me again!!! 🤬🤬🤬

Give us his details, we'll ALL tell him to fuck off and never contact you again!

He doesn’t respect you. Hell im not even sure he likes you! He knows you like him and that sex is readily available so every now and then he’ll pick you up and then toss you away again. The only person who can show some respect to yourself is you. Block him on all platforms and put your energy into finding someone else

You’d always be wondering what if... at least this way you will (hopefully) have reached your limit for being fucked around and when he (inevitably) contacts you again, that’s the time for “who is this?” or just read and delete. Sorry you’ve had to go through this, some people are just spineless heartless twats.

Oh no OP. Did you do the deed on Monday? You need to block him and move on he's wasting your time x

He's using you to fill the gap when someone better isn't available, no wonder you feel hurt and humiliated.

Take back control. You've deleted him which is good. No more nodding and smiling if you see him out and about. Be talking on your phone as he passes and don't make eye contact.

Do something nice for yourself and the DC today. Look forward to the future when you are with a man who will cherish you and treat you with respect.

The best revenge is living well.

He's just one Penis.....in a world awash with Penises. Just find one that isn't attached to such an ignorant man, next time.

To be honest I'm more pissed off because I was close to knocking it on the head myself.. the physical attraction wasn't really there this time.. he's very overweight & unfit so the sex was rubbish & lazy on his part.. he once took pride in his appearance & home that is now lacking.. basically in my eyes he had fallen off the pedestal I used to put him on.. I guess I would have got great satisfaction being the dumper this time!

Thank you for your kindness & sympathy!

So what’s your plan? What have you done and what will you do to make sure this doesn’t happen for a fourth/fifth/sixth etc time?

@TheStoic

Hmmm, not sure I know the answer to that one..

Any suggestions gratefully received though 😐

Blocking his number, email address, FB etc would be a good start, have you done those things? If not, you might find that quite liberating!

You can also write a list of the things you will NOT miss.

1. Rubbish sex!

@TheStoic

He's not on any social media so that makes it easier
Thank you the list is a great idea 😄

1. Rubbish sex

Stop doing this to yourself. He is a prick!

Ooof, ouch. You walked straight into that one.

Look, the man's a disrespectful, selfish, emotionally underdeveloped bastard. Who doesn't care. And the dynamic between you will never change.

The mistake you (and I, and many other women) have made is to think that this time you will be able to steer and control the situation. The key to making changes is to understand that we can't. Because they don't care and we do.

With time and wisdom I have got much better at spotting these dynamics and bailing before I have to deal with the inevitable hurt and humiliation. He'll be back in touch. He won't have changed. But hopefully you will.

@LeavingLasVegasForGood

You are so right!

He will end up a very lonely old man!!