Anyone else dreading a lonely weekend?

[Tilly1313]

Feeling sorry for myself, got brutally dumped, he moved out didn’t give me any warning. Kind of got on with things for a month but now feeling very lonely, down and the weekends seem terribly long. I don’t live near family and my friends are spread round the country as I’ve relocated a lot through work.

Anyone been in this situation, how do you get out the rut? Currently it’s wine which I know isn’t helping, just feeling tearful and low tonight

Hi Tilly
Time for a chat perhaps?? I am guessing you are youngish. How long were you living with your partner??

And how long since he left??

Hi Tilly
Sorry to hear you’re feeling down. I understand how long a weekend can be.

You’ll find quite a few of us in similar situations here if that’s helpful?

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3300744-The-Claw-a-thread-about-loneliness

Ah thanks for that hopeless I’ll definitely tag along!

Jay, we were together 2 years, he showed major signs of being a shit but I turned a blind eye, I’m 35

Loneliness is at epidemic proportions in our society.

Social media exasperates it.

Can you relocate to where you already have networks?

Do you have childcare responsibilities? If not just get out the house and be out and about in your community as much as possible. Even going to smaller local shops more frequently will feel less isolating than a supermarket.

Avoid online shopping for the same reason.

Eat out

Go to parks and museums

Join clubs

Take up a new sport or hobby.

Do an evening class.

It’s hard but it’s so important to prevent you sinking into a depression.

Thanks sevendown- no childcare responsibilities. I think what’s hard is by nature I’m an extrovert and get my energy from people. We were a very active couple but mainly just the two of us.

I go for dinner on my own to get out and even went to watch the football alone which was an experience! It just take a lot to go out alone, I think being in London doesn’t help.

I’ve deleted all my social media and that’s not been a bad thing

Pop to your local parkrun tomorrow and walk or jog 5k? I often have people chatting to me during and after.
I dont live in a city but it strikes me as maybe harder as small places you tend to bump intp people, etc and there is maybe a bit more of an obvious "community" so that must be tough.

When I was single, and mostly friendless (ex isolated me from friends who understandably it took a while to win back) I did a lot of voluntary work. I am a very "busy" person so i dont mind that this means I dont "get" weekends as I would rather have commitments most weekends than be able to catch up on tv or have a lie in. I still do most of my voluntary stuff despite new DP as I found it so beneficial for my MH and self esteem.

Hi Tilly
You are the age of my daughter. Three years ago she split up with her partner of nine years ( mums's instinct - I never liked him) and now she has a lovely, kind and funny partner. You will find someone but now you need to be careful not to get involved too soon so that your judgement is sound when you do as after a breakup you can be vulnerable. My son met his partner on Tinder. She is lovely and they just bought their first property together. So, there are lots of people in London and lots of ways to meet them. You know things will get better and you have the courage to make the life you want..it takes courage to go out on your own. Good luck sweetie.

Oh and make sure your next partner is kind, intelligent and makes you laugh.

Hi I know what you mean about the loneliness at weekends. I have investigated meet up, which seems to have some good varied things going on & you can suggest things of interest that you enjoy. My problem is that I have kids, so can't get to any meet ups! With saying that I'm doing a charity swim today for a womens charity ( kids can come) it's way out of my comfort zone, but I have met some amazing people who I wouldn't have met otherwise & we're all keeping in touch afterwards. Maybe investigate these type of options? Nerve wracking at first, but worth it going forward. Good luck, things will get better x