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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Fell pregnant from someone abroad, any advice?

53 replies

EveAlice · 05/07/2018 17:50

Hi, I've obviously changed my username. I spoke to someone online for 6 months and then decided I'd meet them when volunteering in their country. We got on well and slept together a few times during my time there (6 weeks) and it was all going well. Cutting it quite short, I later found out I'm pregnant. I did tell him as soon as I found out and was greeted with hysteria about how he can't be a dad and obviously I explained how I also never planned to be a mother at this stage in my life. I have all intentions of keeping the baby, I have great family support and will do my absolute best for him/her. I'm currently 12 weeks. He's still messaged and asked how everything is going, but it definitely doesn't feel how it did. I'm really unsure on how this works for parental rights and things like that. Any advice would be super helpful. Thanks.

OP posts:
thejeangenie36 · 06/07/2018 16:57

OP, congratulations on your pregnancy. Just wanted to pick up on something you said earlier in your thread that you weren't sure if you would be able to carry on with your university studies.

Universities should support this as it's an obligation under equality legislation. Most universities will have a maternity / pregnancy policy: e.g. they'll let you take a leave of absence for a period of time and resume your studies after maternity leave. They may adjust assessments etc. Many universities have a nursery on-site (but you'd probably have to pay for this). You should be able to talk to your supervisor / advisor (they should treat your pregnancy in confidence) and access support or at least find out what support is available.

Mix56 · 06/07/2018 17:59

As you say you seem to have "gone off" this man, You cannot encourage him to be a "future good Dad", you may well have replaced that role with a future partner.
The real problem is him getting to know the baby & wanting to take him/her home to meet the family etc.
Do not let him take the child out of the country

HarryLovesDraco · 06/07/2018 18:28

He can't 'take the child out of the country' since he can't come in to this country in the first place.

The only way he's going to see this baby is if the OP takes the baby to visit him.

As they aren't married (and please OP don't be so daft as to give the child his surname or a name he chooses) the guy will have no legal rights even in Morocco. He will have no proof that the kid is his so he can't abduct him (at least the law won't support him doing so)

Realistically how likely are you to travel abroad to take your baby to visit someone you barely know regularly??

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