Revenge

[Ta77Blonde]

I want revenge on a Narcissist Sociopath no matter how long it takes. Revenge is a dessert best served cold and Im standing by the fridge. Any ideas?

Live your life well, be happy and don't look back. Best revenge ever!

No, I will do that anyway but Im talking real revenge.
No fish in the curtain lining, no ripping shirts etc. Im talking real revenge.

Im talking "Sleeping with the Enemy" movie.

You realise he was a stalker who would have gone to prison if he hadn’t died, right?

[I was concerned I was posting spoilers, then realised that film is now 27 years old, now going to go away and weep for my lost youth...]

For what reason are you seeking this revenge? Were you in an abusive relationship with this person?

You need to elaborate really.

Yes, hes an narcissistic sociopath by the book. If any one knows what this is they fully understand.

Abusive emotionally, verbally and occasionally I had bruising on my body from things thrown and hands gripping me.

I've 'read the book and got the t shirt' with regards to being in a relationship with one of these.

Trust me, if you try and get revenge you will be giving him what he craves from you, narcisstic supply.
Any attention makes twats like this feel powerful (even negative attention).
The best thing I did was completely cut all contact and ignore my ex. This is what narcissists absolutely hate, being ignored, and this is all the revenge you need.

I want indirect revenge, something that doesn't directly come from me. Something to happen that would seem as if I had no involvement.

Just walk away and lead a happy life, you trying to get revenge will lead to him trying to get one over on you. Where will it end?

Is he still living with you? Has he moved out? Do you know where he lives? (and works)? Hobbies? Tell us a bit about him.

The best revenge would be to completely cut him from your life and show him how unimportant he is to you.

It's really REALLY not worth it OP

There is never no feeling of winning with these people

Apart from cutting off and ignoring...that's the ticket

You're currently letting this person live in your head and control your emotions (anger, frustration, regret). That's the OPPOSITE of getting revenge on them!

If he was abusive then go to the police? Revenge by giving him a justified criminal record?

Hi

It seems as though he has a strong grip on you still.
you may have an odd feeling of being discarded by him, even though he was the one massively deserving of the one discarded?

my best advice is to understand he has a mental illness and that it was all fake. He leeched off of you and in turn made you feel worthless.
Revenge will more than likely give him a kick and narcissists are intelligent people more often than not, so he could swing it around and make you look bad.

Be active and move on - one last point. You may have taken on some of his traits....meaning you may have a temp narcissistic mode. Please remain self ware :)

Hope you start to feel better soon

I understand your anger, I went through the same. I also went through a period of wanting revenge because of everything he did to me. But, what I always remind myself of is the fact that I don't have to live with him or deal with him anymore, but he has to live with the person he is forever. These types of people can never be happy. They don't have the capacity. He will bring enough misery on himself without me needing to lift a finger.

There really is no point letting it bother you like this. Walk away, as others have pointed out, it's for the best. You sound as though you may need some help with learning to leave well alone, perhaps look at the Power to Change course, or something similar.

He still has you in his grip if you are thinking like this

The best revenge with these types is to simply withdraw your attention

Don't even unfriend/block him

Just ignore. Totally. He will hate that.

I’ve been there and know how you feel. Ultimately it will get you nowhere. Understand that this is an emotionally, spiritually unwell person and that the best thing you can do is to turn your back and walk away. You will have the moral high ground and will feel better doing this in the long run.

I've been where you are and I remember that anger well. Feeling destroyed by a narc while he seemed to swan off into the sunset with a new girlfriend.

But some years on I have my indirect revenge. The home life I have now is one he has craved and never had as a child, nor is he capable of creating that with a partner and children without damaging them in the process. I have genuine love respect and happiness in my life with someone wonderful and am utterly indifferent to ex. And I know that would piss him off more than anything to know that.

And that makes me smile every time I think about it.

Live your life well and free. You could channel all your surplus energy and new found knowledge into actively helping other folks get free of people of his ilk. Much better use of resources.

Its hard to accept but the only way to get fleeting revenge is to behave just like thry did. Then they truly have won because they didn't only hurt you, they corrupted you, your ethics and integrity.

Free yourself. Thats the only way.

Get on with your life, as everyone else has said.

However, and I doubt this will give you the satisfaction you are looking for after the event, if you must do something, do something to protect others from him.

Dig two graves...