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Original poster

Double barrelling a child’s name

27 replies

Snowangel123 · 02/07/2018 11:39

I’m divorcing my husband and would like to ideally change the children’s names to my maiden name - via my solicitor he has refused that request so where would I stand with adding my maiden name on to their current surname - ie double barrelling?
Do I need the fathers consent for this? Is it legally accepted as their name if I am able to double barrel it and does anyone have any advice or experience of a similar situation please? Children are 1 and 4...
Thank you so much

OP posts:
MrsBertBibby · 02/07/2018 11:40

You need his permission or a court order to change their names.

bunnyrabbit93 · 02/07/2018 11:41

I've done a deep poll for a minor for my DD you need to have parental consent from any persons with parental responsibility.

waterSpider · 02/07/2018 12:53

Above is true for England and Wales. Would be easier if the child is resident in Scotland?
If England, your best chance is probably to get the ex- to agree; court process long and not favourable.

Northernparent68 · 02/07/2018 13:05

It’s infair on the children and your ex to change their names, it’s part of their identity, and will make your ex feel pushed out of his children’s life.

chilly32045 · 02/07/2018 13:16

I know someone who tried to do this and the courts denied it. It was the name they are born with and IMO it should be for a positive reason not such a horrible negative reason.

Aprilshouldhavebeenmyname · 02/07/2018 13:20

Were you married when they were registered?

Original poster
Snowangel123 · 02/07/2018 15:40

Yes we were married when they were born....I’m not taking away their current surname just adding my maiden name to it by way of double barrelling - they don’t see their father (his choice) so I don’t see why they Should just have his name and not mine too....my family name is incredibly important to me especially since my father passed away...

OP posts:
ArnoldBee · 02/07/2018 15:46

You'll need the permission of the other parent with parental responsibility and it will also create a lifetime of form filling problems especially in the current climate of right to work, right to rent etc that has been implemented. I understand your reasons but it's not that simple.

Nellia · 02/07/2018 22:17

Sorry but if it was important why change it now as opposed to giving it to them at the start.

DarklyDreamingDexter · 02/07/2018 22:24

As others have said, you do need the other patent's permission for under 18s. Can you explain it is for practical reasons when travelling by plane etc, so you have a name in common with yours on passports etc.

SandyY2K · 03/07/2018 07:56

Agree with Nellia. If it was so important, you would have double barelled when registering their birth.

You can let the school know that from X date, the DC are using
X-X surname.....but it won't be an official document change.

crayoladreamz · 03/07/2018 08:01

Your family name obviously ISN'T incredibly important to you because you opted to give them his surname when they were born.

You can register them at school with the double barrel name and at the dr and stuff I believe. You just might not be able to change their passports but it's not like they get used often. When they're old enough they can do a deed poll.

So just use the double barrel in day to day life

MrsBertBibby · 03/07/2018 08:28

You can let the school know that from X date, the DC are using X-X surname.....but it won't be an official document change.

For the millionth time, schools should not do this. Ditto doctors.

Their name is what you and their dad gave them, until you and their dad give them another name, or they reach 18 and pick something else.

Why in hell do people think they can piss about with this unilaterally?

Pickleypickles · 03/07/2018 08:34

Someone i know had this so she unofficially changed there name so everyone knew them as john Smith but official documents were still john Jones, could you do that?

Dadsussex · 03/07/2018 17:26

Without sounding totally out of order

Are you looking to do this for you or for your children?

My parents divorced and I hated my mother for even considering doing this and totally refussed to ever go by anything other than my birth name. I actually lost respect for her over this and to this day it still gets to me, she wanted to change my name as a way of controlling me and my dad. As a way of saying the divorce meant she could revert back to her maiden name and the children would follow suit.....

The way I saw it my mother was trying to erase my father and them splitting up had naff all to do with me........ I had my name and it was mine. Their divorce was between them and the change of going back to her maiden name really had nothing to do with me

Sorry if this sounds direct at you OP but at the end of the day IMO it’s the children’s names and not something that should be changed to fit in with you and your grown up choices

Mum4Fergus · 03/07/2018 17:35

I added my surname to DS's name...I'd read about mothers having problems travelling with the DCs when names are different. So now he has my surname on his birth certificate and replacement passport too. I had X's permission and signature on the form but without that would have needed it court ordered...I'm in Scotland x

Ellisandra · 03/07/2018 18:26

Another one who thinks your surname wasn’t that important to you. Did you keep your name when you married?

I have sympathy that they have his name when he won’t see them - but it’s their name now. My child has my XH’s name - I never changed mine, and thought his was nicer. A name is just a name.

Ellisandra · 03/07/2018 18:27

Posted too soon - wanted to add, I travel frequently with my differently named child. I carry a letter, she loves the attention of a few questions at the border. It’s really a total non event, not a problem.

MistressDeeCee · 03/07/2018 18:33

I didn't use my DCs full surnames on school documents. It's way too long (Brasil & French Caribbean mix)

Likewise for my stuff, I did the same. Missed out 1st part eg before the hyphen

Never, ever been challenged on it. Full names are on my marriage certificate & the DCs birth cert but in real life we don't use the full version. So it's interesting to see comments here.

Although I'd have thought it better you post in the Legal Section here OP for a definitive, accurate answer to your question

Teabay · 03/07/2018 20:01

I didn't want my abusive ExH name after I divorced him, but it is the only name my DDs have known, and it's their name! I wouldn't consider taking it away from them.

Like you, I added my name to theirs as an extra name. So, they had Christian name, their original middle, Teabay, Dad's Surname. It meant they have four names, but when they are older they can choose to double barrel or change it.

Yes, he had to sign to say they were having an extra middle name but he didn't mind too much as I wasn't taking any of his name away.

And it is actually their name, anyway!

wibblywobblyfish · 03/07/2018 20:15

I amended my sons surname when I left his abusive father. It was double-barrelled previously. I didn't need permission due to him being born before 2001 and we weren't married. It was done via statutory deed. All of his documents, passport, NI number, driving licence are in his 'new' surname. The only evidence of his previous surname is his birth certificate. EX-p was an awful parent and has never had anything to do with DS.

I would just go ahead and use your maiden surname as their 'known as' name, reverting to their legal names for official stuff only. Lots of people do this, it's more common than I ever realised.

SusanDelfino · 03/07/2018 21:57

I'm in Scotland and have just done this with DCs name. Double barrelled. You need the other parent's permission 100%!

SpringerLink · 03/07/2018 22:45

I strongly think you also need your child’s consent. As they aren’t old enough, you should wait. After all, it is your children’s name, not yours.

I have a different name from my DH and DC. My DD (now 7) has said for over a year that she wants my maiden name added to her name. As it’s a total faff, I’m holding off for now. But I definitely need her father to consent to the change, should we ever do it.

ImanaveragepersonAMA · 03/07/2018 22:58

You should've done it when they were born.

If it meant that much to you, you would've.

It sounds like you're trying to get one up on your ex now you're divorced

Rebecca36 · 03/07/2018 23:16

It's quite legal to just tell people and your children, when they are older, that from now on they will be known as, "....". It doesn't have to be on their birth certificates. Anyone can call themselves anything.