Is the guy I'm chatting with a racist?

[joan04]

Long time lurker but new poster here. Long story short I am currently going through a divorce but the marriage ended last year so I have kind of been on the dating scene. I also have a couple of kids and my ex and I are doing everything possible to make it easier on them.

I got chatting to a guy from a dating app last year and we went on a few dates which were nice and he was very charming but it wasn't the right timing for me so it kind of fizzled out. Recently got back in touch with him and we have been chatting a lot on texts, like a lot! I think it's getting to the point whereby we'll meet up again. We just seem to get on well and he is also divorced with kids himself so it seems a good match.

However I'm now wondering if he's a racist, I don't claim to know much about politics and aside from the odd post on FB there was nothing that really concerned me. But I recently stumbled upon his twitter account and it just seems a bit off. Lots of posts and retweets about free Tommy Robinson, anti-Islam posts, pro Trump stuff and that kind of thing which just seem a bit nasty in all honesty.

Just a bit worried and don't know whether I should mention it to him or even walk away. Some of my best friends aren't British.

It does sound like he's a casual racist at the least.

You are worth better, don't settle.

He’s a disgusting bigot.

Maybe you should put him to the test. Bait him with something like some advice on how to deal with a neighbour or colleague etc just mentioning their ethnicity in the convo or to describe them and see what his response is.

Look, people show the best side of themselves while chatting on online dating. He's not going to start spouting his unpalatable views to you. He's not stupid. He's going to realise that this will put people off. If you don't share these views and don't want your kids around someone who does, sack him off. You're not compatible and it's good you've found this out sooner lather than later.

Yeah... he's a massive twat. Better to find out now before you waste any more time

It is ok to just be chatting to someone . You don't have meet again.

Why do you even have to ask? Its obvious he is. Unless you too think like that why are you even wondering?!

I'd have fucked him off over the free Tommy stuff alone tbh.

Fuck all that involved shit youre not married. You dont owe him fuck all.

Anti-Islam posts are racist, so yes, he is a racist.

Trump and Tommy have a huge following of racists, and it's little wonder why. In all honesty, I would never entertain the thought of going out with someone who supported Trump due to his calling Nazi's fine people, I couldn't stand anyone with those shared values.

But, you did say apart from a few FB posts, so I'm guessing there were some posts you already thought were a bit off from him on there before you saw his Twitter?

He may seem fine, those people who marched in Charlottesville all have jobs and families and people thought they were normal, everyday people. He's just presented his best self to you as you barely know him.

He does sound like he’s a bigot unfortunately and people always try to present their best side when dating. If you’re not sure when your next out why not weave something into the conversation around politics, race or Grenfell etc and see what comes out?! Not necessarily all going to come splurging out from him but then you can gauge if he’s open or trying to hide some of his views ...

You think he's nice to you so he's worth it?

I have to inform you that the people who are racist have hate in their heart, to hate people due to the colour of their skin means you do not value other people at all and most often , at it's core, is a hatred of themselves.

He's going to be a lot to deal with and if you truly don't share his values, then I would walk away before you have any true commitment with each other.

Please swerve him. Let him find someone with similar views so they can be happy spouting their bile together

Don't date racists op
It's simple really

I think what you can say for sure is where his political affiliations lie. Whether or not they are a deal breaker, is up to you.

Unfortunately social media has been used as a propaganda tool to influence many people in a racist/Islamaphobic way, usually ones that are intellectually challenged. That's why i permanently deleted Facebook around the time of the Brexit vote.

Sounds like you're spending too much time building up a 'relationship' via text.

You can't know 100% but it seems likely.

Total bigot. He doesn't sound like someone you want around your children.

Even if he's not a racist he's at the very least a gulliable idiot that believes the rubbish that people like Tommy Robinson spout out surely that's still not someone you want in your DC's life I'm sure you want them to have better critical thinking skills then being taken in by that level of bigotry.

The posts on his facebook weren't actually his own, they were usually those reposts of something overly patriotic or those anti-PC quotes or pictures you see every now and then so I didn't think too much of it. He had a union jack as part of his profile picture but again I didn't think much of it until I saw his twitter.

Does it matter if he wrote it himself or if he shared it OP?

I wouldn't be able to date someone who likes/retweets homophobic and pro-trump things. At all.

I kind of feel a bit gutted. My confidence is quite low after my divorce as I am in my late 40s and do have kids. Even though I feel I look ok for my age I haven't really hit it off with anyone else and his messaging was nice and comforting. He hasn't told me why his last marriage ended and I do wonder if this has anything to do with it. I do remember the short time I spent with him last year he came across as quite a dominant man which I did find attractive but perhaps this combined with bigoted views is not the best mix.