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Original poster

How much should he pay?

52 replies

ducksanddrake · 27/06/2018 14:43

I know this has been asked before, but can't find a similar thread to my particular question.

Back story Both in late 40s, my newish partner is now living with me, and all going well. We go halves on food and he gives me £175 for bills, with me paying the whole [small] mortgage. I dont want him to pay any towards the mortgage as I don't want him to 'claim' if we split, and I want my property to go to my children - he has none. He doesn't have any property either to have to pay out for. So basically he lives with me for £175 + food. He earns about 8k more than me, and my wage is OK [I have and can afford to live on my own]

So my question is, how much is reasonable for him to pay? I thought i could charge him 'rent' of £300 plus bills. WOuld this be a reasonable request? Would this be like he is paying towards my mortgage because I dontwant him too, but I do think he could pay more really as he has a good deal living with me.

Any advice? Anyone had similar??

OP posts:
Handsfull13 · 27/06/2018 14:53

I'm not sure anything but you need to get legal advice.
For what I've read before it's not paying towards the mortgage that means he can have claim to the house I thinks it's paying bills and general maintenance of the house that counts towards claiming for it. But you need to get that checked.

If you've explained to your partner your reasons for not wanting him owning any part of the house and he is ok with that you can have paperwork drawn up that states no matter what he pays into the home he has no claim over it.

Original poster
ducksanddrake · 27/06/2018 15:07

Would youthink £300 is a good amountto ask for?

OP posts:
hellsbellsmelons · 27/06/2018 15:08

If you don't want him to have a claim on your house then he should be paying towards ALL bills.
What is his situation?
Does he own a property?
If you want him to pay more then I suggest seeing a solicitor and drawing up something legal.

Original poster
ducksanddrake · 27/06/2018 15:13

All bills are £350 per month. I pay the mortgage on top of that, he does not own property. How does him paying all the bills mean he doesnt get a claim on my house?

OP posts:
Handsfull13 · 27/06/2018 15:23

I think it depends on how you see his contribution to the house.
If you are going to charge rent then you need a contract drawn up stating its rent but not a claim to ownership. Because that rent I'm guessing is going towards you paying the mortgage.
If your splitting all bills then I'd just leave it as that.
I would begrudge paying rent as a way to pay my partner's mortgage but being told I have no claim to the house.

What does your partner say about this?

Spam88 · 27/06/2018 15:30

Hmm I think charging him rent is a bit off really. You could perhaps split the bills differently, ie weighted by your earnings so he ends up paying a little bit more.

Spam88 · 27/06/2018 15:30

Hmm I think charging him rent is a bit off really. You could perhaps split the bills differently, ie weighted by your earnings so he ends up paying a little bit more.

Original poster
ducksanddrake · 27/06/2018 15:30

I havent approached my partner with anything yet. I wanted to get numbers straight before I speak to him. I want what is reasonable. If he was to rent a property, he would be spending £950 on rent alone, plus food and bills. Staying with me he is paying £300 {food & half the bills} so to ask him for £300 seems reasonable. I could save £150 a month into a savings account

OP posts:
Original poster
ducksanddrake · 27/06/2018 15:32

I mean £300 instead of just £175

OP posts:
ACatsNoHelpWithThat · 27/06/2018 15:37

You can;t really compare with him renting a property for £950, as he'd be renting the entire property, he'd have rights as a tenant and presumably he wouldn't be sleeping with the landlady.

If he's genuinely paying his way and doing his share of the chores etc I don't see why you should profit from him living with you when he gets no security in return. He's supposed to be there because you love each other!

LoveInTokyo · 27/06/2018 15:40

Why don't you split food/bills according to income (so he would pay slightly more) and keep paying the mortgage?

ShatnersWig · 27/06/2018 15:47

How old are your children? Have they flown the nest or still live with you? If they are still living at home but working do they pay rent or bills?

Singlenotsingle · 27/06/2018 15:50

£300 plus half the food bills is more than generous!

He won't ever get a claim on the house unless his name is on the deeds or you marry him. Then under the Matrimonial Causes Act he would have a claim. (Additionally, some times if a dp does physical work on the property, or pays for say, an extension, they can have a (probably small) claim.) Finally if you died first, he could claim to be a dependent, but again, unlikely... Take professional legal advice if you are unsure

Original poster
ducksanddrake · 27/06/2018 15:51

As I have said before, he earns about 8k more than me. He does his fair share around the house and I do love him, of course I do. However, he does live with me and it costs him at present, £175 per month. I wanted to know, would it be reasonable to ask him to contribute £300.

Im sure if I uploaded the question 'My DP only gives me £175 a month to live here. Is he a CF or cock lodger??' I would get a different answer!!

OP posts:
user1469032438 · 27/06/2018 15:52

I worked it out by adding up all my bills that relate to the house (so not nursery, my car etc.) And asking for half of that amount,£440 in my case so £300 sounds cheap to me. Not sure how it works WRT him not getting a claim.on the house though.

Boredboredboredboredbored · 27/06/2018 15:58

My partner will be moving in with me later this year. We are splitting all of the household outgoings in two including the mortgage. He is then giving me money for food on top. He will be giving me £700 and we earn an equal amount.

I don't think it's fair for him to be paying less when he would be paying a mortgage on his own place (he will be renting this out). I thought if he wasn't on my mortgage he would've be entitled to claim? Confused

Mari50 · 27/06/2018 16:04

I suppose it depends how small your mortgage actually is. If your mortgage is £200 a month then I’d not be overly bothered about charging ‘rent’, if your mortgage is larger then it’s up to you what you feel evens the field because I’m assuming this is what the problem is. You seem a bit annoyed that he earns more and you’re wanting to even up the income.
You need to work out what makes you feel like he isn’t sponging off you because otherwise your resentment will fester...

whereiscaroline · 27/06/2018 16:22

He won't ever get a claim on the house unless his name is on the deeds or you marry him.

^ this is absolutely not true. OP, go and get some legal advice, and possibly something drawn up. Your home is too precious to take a risk with.

NotTheFordType · 27/06/2018 16:25

How much is a double room houseshare in your area? That would include all bills but no food. I'd charge that.

Original poster
ducksanddrake · 27/06/2018 16:38

Not annoyed he earns more at all! I just wanted to put in perspective thats all! If he wasn't here, I would be renting to a student for £450. So I would be quids in! and no prospect of losing my house.

OP posts:
ACatsNoHelpWithThat · 27/06/2018 16:43

Have you ever rented your spare room out before? If not I don't see how you can use that argument now (unless your DC have only just left home).

Do you think your DP will kick off if you ask him for more than he's already been paying?

Original poster
ducksanddrake · 27/06/2018 16:46

Yes I have rented the spare room before.
No kids at home.
No he wouldn't kick off if I asked for anything. He is a diamond Smile

OP posts:
ACatsNoHelpWithThat · 27/06/2018 16:49

In that case I think you'd be reasonable to ask for more than just him covering his costs. Maybe half of what you'd rent the room out for on top of his food and £175?

swingofthings · 27/06/2018 16:52

I want what is reasonable
The problem is what is reasonable for one person won't be for another because there are two sides of it. Yours as you see it now, ie. if he wasn't moving with you, he would be paying rent, but also yours possibly, which could be that before moving with you, you had to pay the full mortgage and why should he pay towards something that he gets nothing out of.

The problem is that a property is both a roof over one's head but also an investment. This is why really, you should have had that discussion before moving in together.

I did with my OH and I made it clear that I wouldn't be paying rent, but we'd been together for 18 months by then and we were already talking about a long term commitment/marriage. I made it clear each month I transferred money that it was towards the bills AND the mortgage. I was not going to pay my partner rent.

However, your OH might have similar views to you and be very happy to pay rent. You won't know until you broach the subject.

TokenGinger · 27/06/2018 17:15

Draw up some kind of contract. If he was renting privately somewhere, he’d be paying towards their mortgage but wouldn’t have a claim if he moved. Same with a lodger in a house share.

When my DP moves in, he will pay £100 towards my mortgage bill (it’s £325 a month), then bills and food will be split 40/60 which is proportionate to our incomes.

His contribution to my mortgage is not him paying my mortgage, it’s him paying rent to live in my house.