Name changed
I exploded this morning.
DP of 15 years and I have been having problems for months. We have a DS 4.
DP suffers from depression, is on ADs but self medicates by drinking. He drinks and stays out all night at least once a week, leaving me to have to do the school run or cancelling plans (such as anniversary meals, family days out)
I have tried to block his behaviour out, hoping it will get better. I have stopped wanting sex and we have not been intimate for 6 months.
He had an affair 2 years ago for 8 months
He doent answer the phone when he stays out all night. He lies about where he is
We had a talk on Sunday to try to sort it out. He promised to stop staying out, I said that if he treated me (our family) better I would want to be intimate but at the moment I am so angry all the time.
He stayed out all night last night, he thought it was ok as he wasnt drunk when he came in at 5.30. I ignored him as I wanted to try to get back to sleep for an hour. He put his arm over me and apparently I huffed.
He started getting angry, saying Im boring. That the woman he had the affair was fun and sexy, that our relationship was over. All I do is nag, blah blah blah. I told him I agree that its over, he is a terrible partner and setting a terrible example to DS. I pointed out DS asked where he was on Sunday morning when he wasnt there (again).
He responded that DS wil soon be asking where I am 50% of the time so he better get used to it. I exploded. I slapped him and scratched his arm. I saw red at his smug face and comment of how DS will be missing me.
I know it was wrong. I got straight up and left the house at 6.15. I’m so ashamed at myself. I don’t know what to do.