Why isn't he texting back?

[yellowbedsheet]

Went out on Friday with my friend. Ended up meeting a guy and honestly felt this amazing spark from the get go. Like nothing that's ever happened to me before. We spoke all night, had so much in common, he ended up coming back to mine and we dtd. He stayed a little while in the morning then left. I text him later that day (I know -too eager) and he replied. Replied to a couple more texts (slow response but good texts - didn't seem like he doesn't like me) but it's now been over 24 hours since he replied 😕

Shall I just give up now and admit it was probably just one of them one night things and I should grow up a little and forget about him? Just really liked him and he said on the night he'd be asking me out again etc. Ugh I feel like a teenage girl

Shall I just give up now and admit it was probably just one of them one night things and I should grow up a little and forget about him?
Yes

Just really liked him and he said on the night he'd be asking me out again etc.
Because he wasn't going to tell you he wanted a shag and run.

Sorry but youstacey is right.

It meant more to you than it did to him. If he was really keen another date would have been organised by now.

Time to move on

He was looking for a good time op and said all the right things. My ex said when he met me he was looking for a one night thing and I wasn’t having it, he chased and chased me and when he had me after a while he left. It’s a learning experience op

Enjoy the fact that you had great sex, with no strings attached, but don't expect to hear from him just because he said you would. People say things in the moment, or because it's what he thought you would want to hear... You didn't do anything wrong, so just chalk it up to experience.

He just wanted a one off. Don't text him anymore. You'll probably hear from him again when he wants round too. By cooling off with the texts he's showing you he's not up for anything serious.

Sorry I agree with other posters. He was looking for a ONS. Forget him and move on

Completely agree with previous posts

I'd move on from it

Sorry, but he's blown you out and I think you know it too

I always wrestle with threads like this.
My dh is absolutely hopeless with his phone, he's dyslexic so texting is a chore for him too.
When we first met we fell for each other hard but even after our first encounter it was literally days before he got in touch. He also disappeared after we dtd for the first time, he'd lost his phone which I know realise is just standard for him but at the time everyone's advice was 'he's clearly not interested!!'
Well 10 years on he most definitely is. He's still shite with his phone but we share a home/life so it matters less.
My point? I don't know really, I always look for the best in folk, nobody is perfect and maybe give him a chance? I'm bloody glad I didn't write off dh!!!

@strawberryalarmclock oh god I really hope this is what it is 😩

strawberry your DH is not the norm. I think to assume this man has had elaborate phone issues rather then the much more likely scenario of him having wanted sex, had sex and now no longer being interested is rather naive to say the least.

yellow what everyone else said. Move on. Don't sleep with people the first time you meet them if you're looking for a deep, meaningful and long-lasting connection.

OP doesn’t necessarily have to write him off but she does need to let it go for now - if he’s interested he’ll come back and arrange a date but if he isn’t, chasing won’t change anything, except that maybe he’ll take the bait for another chance to hook up. If he is someone who loses their phone or is geniuely unable to contact, chasing won’t make any difference anyway, so no matter what his deal is, just leaving it and getting on with your life seems like the best policy here.

Sorry if I sound harsh OP but I agree with ChateauneufDuTwat.

He might be the type of guy that really liked you but, as you were willing to sleep with a man you had just met, that put him off. Wouldn't have put him off the sex but possibly put him off you as a viable long term partner. I used to work with someone who thought like this so these men do exist unfortunately

I'm sorry op but sleeping together the same night as you met often ends up this way

You met a nice guy, you had great sex. That's a bonus.

If he wants to see you again he will get in touch. But it sounds like he was only after a ONS. Some men think they have to say all the lovey-dovey stuff to get sex - it's a shame they can't be honest about these things, but that's the way things are.

And shame on those trying to shame you for having sex with a guy you just met. You're an adult and you can have sex with anyone as long as you're both consenting and it doesn't matter if you've met for 5 seconds or 5 years.

Another who thinks one night stand for him.

Yes but surely it's best to find out straight away that he's a fuckboy who only wants sex, rather than dragging it out over a few dates before finally DTD and THEN finding out.

Maybe he’s got a girlfriend?

@caonima a fuck boy wouldn’t hang about for after three dates tbf. That’s how I manage to weed them out plus even if you use protection it doesn’t protect against everything , I think for you own sexual health be a bit more selective OP. Xx

Shame on you indeed for those who are making another woman feel bad for having a one night stand!

Naive? I say eternally optimistic. I'm a happy person who hasn't always had it easy either but looking for the best in people/life works for me.
And what a ridiculously old fashioned view about ons. At least two of my married friends dtd just hours after meeting there dh, if someone is put off you just because you enjoy sex or because you're a woman so clearly should wait to prove you're a 'good girl' then they clearly need to hop onto that time machine back to the 50s

*their

I think the general consensus is that if he’s into you, you will know. If he isn’t, you will keep trying to guess!

If he wants to see you he will call you within a reasonable amount of time. In the meantime get on with your life, maybe book up some other dates, keep busy and assume that he won’t call. You can then be pleasantly surprised if he turns out to be a decent human.

Strawberry - I don’t think people are saying that, rather that if you meet someone you really like and want to take things further with them, then having sex with them immediately runs the risk of getting hurt if they only want one nigt of sex.

If you both just want one night of unattached sex = go for it

If you are seriously interested in someone and aren’t sure if they feel the same = wait and get to know them, so you don’t feel used and rejected

@strawberryalarmclock don’t you think it’s more responsible to wait to get to know someone before inviting them into your home? They could be a maniac after all!

Also women (due to biological factors that will never change regardless of the century we live in) are more prone to catch std’s than men? As said earlier condoms don’t protect against everything!

Also there’s the risk of potential pregnancy which is ultimately then the main responsibility of the woman not the man!

All these factors make me think why wouldn’t you just wait a bit longer before putting yourself at risk!

Fgs it’s common sense

I don't think anyone's tried to shame op for sex on the first night but it's a matter of fact that if you do have sex the first time you meet someone then either that's all they were after anyway or it would put them off thinking of you as a long term partner, it's not right of them to do that but from experience that's how a lot of men think.
if a guy had sex with me the first time we met I would also think he wasn't really long term material.