Why isn't he texting back?

[yellowbedsheet]

Went out on Friday with my friend. Ended up meeting a guy and honestly felt this amazing spark from the get go. Like nothing that's ever happened to me before. We spoke all night, had so much in common, he ended up coming back to mine and we dtd. He stayed a little while in the morning then left. I text him later that day (I know -too eager) and he replied. Replied to a couple more texts (slow response but good texts - didn't seem like he doesn't like me) but it's now been over 24 hours since he replied 😕

Shall I just give up now and admit it was probably just one of them one night things and I should grow up a little and forget about him? Just really liked him and he said on the night he'd be asking me out again etc. Ugh I feel like a teenage girl

Shaming? 🙄.

If you genuinely believe that sleeping with, say, ten men the first time you meet them will result in exactly the same ten outcomes as sleeping with said men after you've got to know them, then you can replace 'naive' in my previous post with straight up stupid.

When did I say another about sleeping with multiple men on the first night?! I meant I have friends who have dtd on a first encounter, with someone that they felt a real connection with.

I'm out. I honestly despair reading some of the comments on here.

I hope you hear from him op and if you don't, then you will undoubtedly feel sad and disappointed but please please don't feel shame, you've done nothing wrong!

@strawberryalarmclock thank you so much for your responses

It's also probably worth noting he hasn't actually read the message yet 🙄

I don't think anyone's shaming you on here.. I think it's just more likely that if you sleep together on the first meeting it's likely you won't hear from him again (from a lot of people's personal experiences)
If you do hear from him again play it cool and don't sleep with anyone you want a relationship with until they are somewhat committed to you would be my advice x

Maybe he is just ignoring you then? If he basnt read it in 24 hours. Is it whatsapp? has he been on since or has it been taken off so you dont know when hes been on? sounds like he wanted a ONS.

I wouldn’t right him off, give him until the middle of the week and if he hasn’t replied then you know it was a one off.

Every one of my relationships started as ONS including my husband. (Who after our first awesome night didn’t get in touch for 4 days as he had a lot on with work and is rubbish with his phone)

I know it’s almost impossible but try to put it to the back of your mind, if he gets back in touch great, and if he doesn’t then it should his loss.

I’ve never understood people on here shaming women for ONS. I’ve had loads and had a great time and I have never encountered a man who looked down of me for doing so. If he did then he’s certainly not the man for me!

He doesn't want to text you back, no.matter the circumstances. Sorry.

If you had this great connection with someone, then had great sex together then you would be sending texts first thing in the morning saying hi, surely? I know this is men we're talking about here but even they like a chase when they've had a taste of something sweet.

Shame on you indeed for those who are making another woman feel bad for having a one night stand!

I can't see anyone shaming the OP on here? Just giving advice based ion experience. It's clearly not what the OP wants to hear but I don't see anyone has replied to be unkind or critical.

It's also probably worth noting he hasn't actually read the message yet

So either:

He lost his phone
You've been blocked (which is why your message has not been read)
He's really busy

He just wanted to get his end away.

Bombarding him with texts is unlikely to change that.

Sadly, I don’t think he’ll read the texts.

You were a one & done.

Having sex on a first date has no bearing on a relationship whatsoever. You'll either be good together or you wont. However men are not stupid. If he wanted to pursue it now he'd have been in touch to reassure you/get reassurance. So I don't think this is a goer.

Either he was just after a shag or he's judging you for behaving as he did, in which case you've had a lucky escape.

Me and my dp had sex the first date been together 3 years now and getting married next year didnt put him off me .

Maybe hes just busy op. It's only been a day.

On the other hand, i don't get why he said he was going to ask you out again, instead of, well,actually asking you out again.

Just wait it out but don't contact him again,,,

Move on.

I slept with my significant ex and my fiancé on the first date and both went on to be long term relationships. So I don’t think sleeping with someone early means it always goes nowhere. However how old are you OP? I really think the younger you are the more likely the guy won’t be interested in settling down and will be much more interested in racking up his numbers.

It wasn't a date.

Do you find it a bit strange that your so obsessed after literally a few hours of knowing him? Maybe your coming off too strong.

Nothing wrong with a one night stand. But until he shows otherwise, please act like this is all it was.

I guess I am Making myself sound like a weirdo haha please don't read into it so much I just had such a fantastic time like we just spent the whole night laughing and it felt great and I just would of really loved to see him again.

(Will absolutely not be bombarding him with texts don't worry. I deleted the chat so I don't feel the need to keep checking if he's read my message yet- I'm not angry at him for not being interested I just would of myself liked to see him again! No biggie!)

Thanks for all the advice though I think the general consensus is he's absolutely not interested and i should stop being such a creepy weirdo

He's not that into you.

I slept with ExH on our 1st date. But by the next night we'd arranged another date, and so on. We were together 16 years and split re issues as to which country we wanted to live in.

It's not the sleeping with a guy on 1st that's necessarily a problem. It's that if he's really interested, you will know. There's no point trying to analyse texts/when he texts/why he hasnt. He's not got in touch -that's it.

He could get in touch again if he liked the sex. If that's enough for you then go ahead. If it isn't then best leave him alone as you'll only get hurt.

With current OH 5 years, didn't take me long to sleep with him either. I knew we'd be ok because he phoned me next evening. IME men who text as opposed to phone aren't that interested. Equally, I don't find them interesting.

Put this one down to experience and move on.

Neither of you is in the wrong here really.

It was a ONS. From his pov he probably enjoyed the sex and the company and at least he didn’t just walk out the next morning saying he would text and never getting back in touch, he just let it cool off.

From your pov you had a good time and were hoping for more and hoped he would text back and now he didn’t you’re feeling a little disappointed.

These things happen, and the truth is that if sex on a first meeting is something you’re comfortable with then you need to grow a thick skin wrt the fact that sometimes that’s all the other party is going to be interested in and isn’t going to pursue things further. That doesn’t mean that a ONS couldn’t lead to something more, but if something more is what you hope for after you’ve slept with someone then you just need to curb your expectations slightly and be more open to the fact that for some people the ONS is enough, iyswim.

Yeah I don’t think there is shame in dtd or one night stands if both people want that, but it’s possible he wasn’t exactly 100% honest about it. And sometimes you can weed out those ones looking for ONS by holding back. Both goes for men and women! I have had a ONS and then realised they liked me a lot more/expecting/assumed more but to be fair I did not promise them anything and it’s a shame you feel like you got played. It wasn’t nice of him to say those things then blow you off like he has by the cowardly ignoring!

You know, it’s so easy to know exactly what to do when it isn’t you. But gosh most of us have been there, and back in the day, I’d have been done for stalking and witchcraft, not in that order!

It’s rotten op, and notwithstanding a good love spell, there’s not much to be done. I feel for you.