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Original poster

am I wrong for feeling upset that dh ...

29 replies

hugMeDo · 23/05/2007 21:15

didn't want to hug me during my period because that would turn him on and he knows he can't have me?

I know his intentions are good, that he doesn't want to pester me while I'm on my period, but it still made me that in his mind physical contact should lead to something more.

OP posts:
LoveMyGirls · 23/05/2007 21:16

There are more than 1 way to skin a cat so if he wants you he can still have you just not in that way. Hes being silly, i need more hugs when i'm on my period. Do men think we like feeling hormonal and we should just crakc on with it with no support? He's being an arse.

themildmanneredjanitor · 23/05/2007 21:18

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Monkeytrousers · 23/05/2007 21:19

Think you're just on your period and a bit over sensitive. I wouldn't make anything of it, we can't make them women and we wouldn;t want them to be anyway.

skidaddle · 23/05/2007 21:19

I think he's being ridiculous - as if his desires are so uncontrolable he can't even give you a hug. Well on the plus side I bet you don't even want him anywhere near you now so you won't miss that hug

No you are not wrong to be upset, he is wrong to be such an arse

Scootergrrrl · 23/05/2007 21:20

Eeejit. You must be one foxy chick though Be proud!

ShinyHappyPeopleHoldingHands · 23/05/2007 21:21

I thought you were going to say he didn't want to hug you because the thought of you being on your period disgusted him. At least he is showing he fancies the pants off you! But he is being a bit naff about suggesting that hugs have to leave to anything sex related. And he doesn't have to have it all the time.. perhaps you should reassure him that his scrotum won't explode if he doesn't empty it for a few days! As LMG suggests there ARE several ways to skin a cat, but sometimes we just need a hug! He is a man; he will need this exlaining to him. But he should be able to understand it if he is half decent bloke.

Chloe55 · 23/05/2007 21:21

Dh tries to turn every cuddle into sex - can be a bit annoying but think I would be a bit upset that he couldn't hug me because it would frustrate him. On the other hand, even whilst your feeling shitty, probably spotty and bloated he still finds you ravishing

Dior · 23/05/2007 21:21

Message withdrawn

Monkeytrousers · 23/05/2007 21:22

I really don;t think this is worth making an issue of.

If you really want to talk about it, write it down and look at it next week when you are not so hormonal. Then decide if you want to talk about it.

Dottydot · 23/05/2007 21:22

So the only time he hugs you is when he's going to get sex?! I haven't got a male partner but that's just bizarre... Sound like he needs hug training - hold out on the sex front until he can manage to try hugging without sex!

Original poster
hugMeDo · 23/05/2007 21:23

im not on my period now. he didn't come near me for a week while I was, then as soon as I'd finished all the physical contact returned, and he asked if I'd noticed that he hadn't pestered me for any intimacy to which I replied that yes I had noticed but he also hadn't wanted to hug me etc to which he replied that he hadn't because of getting turned on if I gave him hugs etc.

OP posts:
Monkeytrousers · 23/05/2007 21:23

he might just be a very horny man - half decent still - you married him you should know

Dottydot · 23/05/2007 21:25

good grief! Sounds like you need to talk to him about hugs being nice on their own sometimes - especially when you're on your period and maybe feeling tired/hormonal/not at your best.

ShinyHappyPeopleHoldingHands · 23/05/2007 21:25

(God you must have some hormonal strops in your house Dotty when you're both premenstrual! Or does it make you more understanding of each other? I've often quite wistfully thought it might be much simpler to be gay in this respect. Men are so bloody impossible sometimes! )

Sorry HMD for sidelining...

Monkeytrousers · 23/05/2007 21:25

why don;t you want to have sex on your period?

If you have a good sex life, enjoy it that's all I can say

Nobody is perfect

Original poster
hugMeDo · 23/05/2007 21:25

he is. And I'm flattered that he still finds me that attractive. It's just that when he says things like that it makes me feel just like an object of desire and nothing more. I want to be seen as more than that.

OP posts:
ShinyHappyPeopleHoldingHands · 23/05/2007 21:26

How old is he HMD? He sounds a little.. immature in this respect

Original poster
hugMeDo · 23/05/2007 21:27
OP posts:
Dottydot · 23/05/2007 21:27

Shiny - it's a flipping nightmare 'cos our periods have never aligned, so PMT and periods cover at least 3 weeks of each month!

ShinyHappyPeopleHoldingHands · 23/05/2007 21:28

Hmm. How long have you been togther?

Original poster
hugMeDo · 23/05/2007 21:28

lol. I thought that women living in the same house were supposed to have periods at the same time. .

OP posts:
Original poster
hugMeDo · 23/05/2007 21:29

10 years.

OP posts:
Dottydot · 23/05/2007 21:30

I know - 15 years and they remain stubbornly separate!!!

Could you have a sex amnesty for a month or so - just hugging, kissing and all that, but no actual sex - tell your dh you love him and having sex but would like to try physical contact without the sex for a few weeks? Obviously, huge amounts of sex as a reward if he can manage it!!

ShinyHappyPeopleHoldingHands · 23/05/2007 21:30

Dotty.. I thought women in close vicinity usually automatically ended up with similar mentrual cycles? Scientifically proven. Bit of a bummer for you two! Maybe evening primrose in bulk?

ShinyHappyPeopleHoldingHands · 23/05/2007 21:31

x posts/great minds HMD

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