Several years ago, my partner and I split up because we wanted different things, and the biggest stumbling block was that I'd always wanted children and he'd eventually decided that he didn't. To be fair, he was never sure. He'd had an unhappy childhood, and I wonder if that was a factor, (but it might not have been). We're now best friends, which I know is a bit unusual.
To cut a long story short, at 35 I went to a private fertility clinic to find out what my options were. I had a fertility MOT which suggested that my ovarian reserve wasn't great (although not terrible). The tests had their limitations, especially as they couldn't measure egg quality. But, fearing that I didn't have much time left, I decided to have treatment with donor sperm.
My family were initially opposed to the idea, but changed their minds and have been incredibly supportive. I also have the support of my best friend (yep, my ex). I personally know a lovely solo mum with a young DD, and it's great to be able to ask her questions. I found the Donor Conception Network extremely helpful as well. They sent me details of research about the outcomes for donor conceived children, which I found pretty reassuring.
I'd have preferred to have IUI, as it involves lower doses of drugs, is less invasive and is cheaper per cycle. But the cumulative success rate I was quoted sounded quite low to me, whereas my predicted chance of success with IVF was much higher. I decided to go for IVF, but it wasn't plain sailing as I didn't respond well to the drugs. However, I was very lucky to be successful on my second attempt and now have an adorable three-month-old DD.
I decided that egg-freezing wasn't for me, as from what I read online, the success rates seemed to be very low, (although that may have improved following the new vitrification technique). Also, how would I know if/when I had enough eggs? If I understand it correctly, even young women have some abnormal eggs in their ovaries, but as they get older, the percentage of abnormal eggs increases. They are also likely to produce fewer eggs during ovarian stimulation. I never produced many eggs despite being on high doses of drugs, although my egg quality may have been quite good. Egg freezing does seem to be recommended mainly for women in their twenties and very early thirties. But I never spoke to my doctor about egg-freezing, just Dr Google.
If I were you, I would ask the doctor the survival rates for eggs frozen at the clinic, the success rate for a woman your age using her own frozen eggs and whether the success rate refers to pregnancies or births (sadly, birth rates are lower than pregnancy rates). I'd also ask about the process in detail and the risks involved.
I'd get a detailed quote for treatment as well. When listing the price of a three-cycle IVF package, my clinic put some costs, such as donor sperm, as extras at the bottom of the page. I believed that I'd have to pay these extra costs once. Nope, I later found out that if if I used all three cycles, I'd have to pay these costs three times. Very sneaky. Also, I believe that if you have treatment using frozen eggs, you'll need an extra process called ICSI.
I liked my doctor, but I got the impression that the clinic might have had sales targets. But I could be wrong, as my doctor seemed genuinely caring, and he never tried to sell me unnecessary add-ons. I do think though, that fertility treatment in the UK is a bit of a rip-off, and I read that the owner of my clinic has made mega-bucks.
Apologies for the massive essay. I'm no doctor, so take my medical comnents with a pinch of salt, but I hope that sharing my experience will be helpful.