Tell me if you had children later on/after 37? I'm scared it is too late

[lizzedays]

I'm 32 and I want a family. I focused on my career all my life and relationships took a back seat. They don't these days, but in the last couple of years i've not been so lucky with men!

I'm scared it is too late and it is all my focus now. If I knew i could have children in say, 4 years, I would totally relax (i know that's always an unknown for everyone). I'm just scared.

Has anyone got any happy stories to share?

I only got started about 37...honestly...I have a whole bunch of them now

My mother was 37 when I was born. Labour was difficult but only because I was massive. Perfectly healthy baby. You just can't tell with these things. My advice would be to remember that it is better to have no children than to have children with the wrong person. No decent parent would ever regret having their child but don't put yourself in a position where parenthood painful to you put of desperation. Better to be ignorant of what you have missed out on but at peace than fulfilled by a child who you spend every waking moment absolutely terrified for.

I was 37 and 39. I chose to let my body do it’s thing. Brain didn’t get to make the decision lol.

44 when I got pregnant for the third time, easiest pregnancy of all to be honest.

Had all mine after 37. No garuantees for anyone else, but very easy for me to conceive

Married at 32, first baby at 37 and second at 42. Go for it!!

39, two weeks after I turned 41 and 42 here.
You’ve got a bit of time yet 😉

My mum had me at 41 and I'm awesome, just saying

I had my second at 36. I thought I was old but I've known plenty have them older since. A friend had her first at 36 and several have had one between 35 and 40. My aunt had one at 46.

Yes but... you've asked an extremely leading question that invites responses only from those with positive experiences.

Were you to ask 'did you try but fail to have dcs after age 35 or 40?' you'd get the other side of the same coin.

Either way, anecdotes are not evidence. You must have looked at the stats.

Yes, lots of people can and do have dcs after age 35, though on average, fertility is dropping, rates of miscarriage and complications increasing. That all means that getting and staying pregnant can take longer - just when you don't have time to waste.

After 40, people do have dcs but they're lucky, no-one should expect this to happen for them.

I met DP in my early 30s, had dc late 30s - so all hopeful. Not so positive past 40. So, if I had my time again, I'd have started earlier, aiming to get 2 in comfortably within my 30s. If that wasn't going to plan, I now think that freezing some eggs while I still had them would have been a good idea.

I had my third at 40. Totally unplanned and only had unprotected sex TWICE. So no, we are not dead after 35... lol.. Not boasting just trying to give you hope 😍😍😍 Good luck!
(Yes I know it might be a little bit harder or riskier in some cases but I know of even older mums than me with happy, healthy babies. You will be fine! X)

I had my first 1 month before my 35th birthday. 40 ½ when dc2 was born. It did take me a while to conceive though - 1 year with dc1 and 3 years with dc2. Because of this I feel you don't have to panic yet but if the situation is right don't hang around, just go for it. We would have liked a DC3 but basically ran out of time.

First child 37 and hope to have my second 39 or 40. No issues conceiving last time

I met my DH at 33, had dc1 at 39 (conceived after 5 months of trying) and dc2 at 42 (a happy surprise!). All was well and pretty straight forward for a 'geriatric' mother

37 and 40 here.

I am so pleased to have found this thread. I thought I’d found the one and after 8 years together, two years engaged a mortgage and about to try for a baby he fucked off with someone 8 years younger. To say I felt old and shelved would be an understatement. Given that my ability to attract absolute fuck boys is quite remarkable and the end of yet another relationship I am starting to really feel the pressure. I burst in to tears on Friday seeing a dad with his little girl - fairly unstable at the moment (if not obvious ). I’ve just convinced myself I don’t have the strength or patience to go through the weeding out of wankers stage.....again

I know you’re asking for happy stories but there are no guarantees in life. Had 2 before the age of 20, no problems. After 35 had 3 MC and an ectopic. If you know you know you definitely want kids then you can’t rely on a few happy stories on the net. Sorry, I don’t want to burst your bubble so to speak but you can’t rely on what other people have experienced.

I met my partner at 36, we’ve been ttc for 18 months with no success, I’m pushing 39 now and we’re under the fertility clinic. I’d have started earlier had things been different, but they weren’t and we are where we are. One of my best friends had her two children at 37 and 39, another at 40 and 43, both had two happy healthy babies and no major complications.

Friend of mine had her last kid at 47. Did you know there’s now more abortions in the over 40 age group than the teen age group because people think “oh I won’t get pregnant I’m too old” but they’re not.

I had my first baby at 34 and plan to have another in a couple of years. 32 is fine, try not to worry you are still at perfect child bearing age!

Plus, the chances of having a child don't just nosedive after 35 like you are led to believe by the NHS. I know plenty of people who have had children over that age, some into their forties.

Of course it's best not to leave it too long, that goes without saying, but try not to get caught up in the panic OP x

Storm why not?
How is an unhappy story any more relevant than the 'happy endings?'
They are all anecdotes. Neither is more valid than the other.

I read SO much negative stuff on line that I told my OH 'we might as well try for another one. It will never happen. I am 43, I don't stand a chance of getting pregnant'
I am not thick or gullible but everything was telling me that 43 year old women have a teeny chance of getting pregnant and an even smaller chance of keeping the baby or it being born healthy.

Statistics are for fundraisers and scientists. To the rest of us they are pretty meaningless. The OP is 37, not a 20 year old planning when to ttc.

Met my DH at 31, married at 33, DC1 at 34, MMC at 36, DC2 at 37.

Wishing you all the best, hope it all works out for you

cross post with Die

I wonder if that is why? Too much information, not too little. Its got loads of us assuming that 'old' women can't get pregnant. All those dire warnings about fertility dropping off a cliff after 30. All the teeth sucking about 'abnormalities' if you don't have a child at the optimum time.
We need to be educated about fertility but it seems as if that has turned into being scared witless or totally confused.

38 and 40. Got pg first time with each. No issues. I know it's not like that for everyone and I was lucky.

Well that was my point, there are all just anecdotes. People shared their experiences. I shared mine. I was 40 when I had my ectopic, asked to be sterilised and was told I was too young! But have never used contraception since (i’m Intolerant to basically all of them!) and never fell pregnant again, and I was having sex literally every night (sorry for the tmi, just contextualising). People telling OP they had a baby at 40 doesn’t necessarily mean she has “plenty” of time. I just think that’s an exaggeration. I do think its harder after 35.