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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Is my husband cheating on me?

44 replies

Kissymissy21 · 19/06/2018 15:18

We have been married for 11 years. We have a 4 years old daughter. I had several health issues since childbirth and i took about 3 years to recover.

During this period, me and my husband had several issues. We had hardly been talking like we used to during these last 4 years. Our relationship became extremely formal during this time and also we had a lot of arguments all this time. Now things have come to a point where although there are no fights and arguments but the friendliness that was there between us has gone as well.

Due to work, my husband travelled a lot in the last couple of years. Recently, while he had been away on a work trip, I came across 2 packs of unopened condom packs. These packs were not bought from UK. Also it’s a different brand to what we normally use. They only sell it on amazon in UK and it’s definitely not bought from his amazon account as I checked the purchase history on his account.

The reason I am quite concerned and suspicious is due to the fact that we hardly had been sexually active (once in 2 to 3 months time and sometimes even more than that). Also, we already had a pack with 6 condoms left in it then why would he buy new ones and that also from a different country.

Recently, he had been to Romania and I have a feeling these packs were purchased from there. Am I worrying unnecessarily about all this? Also while he was in Romania i was abroad as well visiting my family. So why would he buy 2 packs especially when after he came back to UK I was going to be away for another month. It’s just making me go mad thinking about all of this. This product is of German origin (Masculan condoms)and one of the distributors that’s mentioned on the package is Romania. I am trying to find out when this was bought but the product gives info only about the expiry date (which is July 2022) but nothing about the manufacturing date. There is also a batch/ lot number on the box GV33303. But I have not been able to gather any information about the manufacturing date based on this.

These thoughts are worrying me 24/7. Can anyone please help? Am I worrying unnecessarily? Please help....

OP posts:
cabsav · 19/06/2018 15:33

I think you just need to ask him ! I don't think the where they were made , bought etc answers the real
question of why tf he has them

SuperSuperSuper · 19/06/2018 15:43

He may have bought them because they were cheap - you mention you use them. Nothing weird about using a different brand, really, if they are a good deal.

You can only know by asking him though. His behaviour is a bit concerning I must say.

Involvedwaddict · 19/06/2018 17:23

I was thinking of the price as well. Much cheaper in Romania.

MMmomDD · 19/06/2018 19:15

Or - a more obvious explanation - he needed them there.

Were they hidden or in plain sight in his bag?
If hidden - even possibly sinister.
If in plain sight - possibly cost saving.

If I were you - i’d leave them where they are and just watch what happens.

SandyY2K · 19/06/2018 19:31

Or - a more obvious explanation - he needed them there

Yep.

Original poster
Kissymissy21 · 19/06/2018 20:27

The price in london for the same is less than couple of pounds as well. 😒

OP posts:
Racecardriver · 19/06/2018 20:32

Are these condoms better than ones you can buy in Britain maybe?

Original poster
Kissymissy21 · 19/06/2018 20:54

The exact same brand is for less than couple of pounds.

One wouldn’t know whether its better than what we get in UK unless we use them. Isn’t it

OP posts:
NorthernJugni · 19/06/2018 21:03

You'll have to ask him. It's the only way you will know.

Fizzymama · 19/06/2018 21:09

Did he know you could potentially find them whilst he was away? If so, then he could have been just stocking up? If he was away and he is cheating - wouldn't he have needed them with him ?

Feckers2018 · 19/06/2018 21:12

Why are folk banging on about the price being cheaper. Talk about penny pinching projection. He obviously thinks he may need them when he's away.
Don't know what I'd do.
Lie low and snoop probably.
What does your gut say?

combatbarbie · 19/06/2018 21:13

Were they hidden or just lying around somewhere you would usually find them? You say they were unopened so it may well be a genuine purchase.

User1011 · 19/06/2018 22:10

Sorry, where did you find them?

me4u1966 · 19/06/2018 22:15

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Sarahlou63 · 19/06/2018 22:19

Jolly good.

Weezol · 19/06/2018 22:19

Me4u spamming reported

Fizzymama · 19/06/2018 22:24

Me4you, Of course that really happened Grin ..... You're hilarious !!

DavidBowiesNumber1 · 19/06/2018 22:28

me4u1966 I've reported you luv!

DavidBowiesNumber1 · 19/06/2018 22:29

OP you really need to ask your DH about the condoms but do it face to face

lynmilne65 · 20/06/2018 09:45

Why are people so desperate to report others ? Is it a 'thing '??

Trinity66 · 20/06/2018 11:04

Even if he's not, by the sounds of it your relationship is in serious trouble, I don't know about anyone else but I couldn't live that way for so long :(

HollowTalk · 20/06/2018 11:11

There's no way there's a good reason for this, OP. He's not saving money as some people so strangely suggest. He bought them because he planned to use them and I'm really sorry, but it doesn't sound as though he planned to use them with you.

I would think that he bought more packets, used the others and kept the rest. I doubt he's been going around with full packets of condoms and not using them.

I would watch and wait. I wouldn't have sex with him in the meantime. I'd check bank accounts. And then I would make up my mind to leave him. I don't think the relationship has been good for a while and if he's having sex with others the chance of it improving is very low.

Look after yourself - he's clearly looking after himself.

DavidBowiesNumber1 · 20/06/2018 12:11

Why are people so desperate to report others ? Is it a 'thing '??

Because it's quite obviously a Spam post.

nicelyneurotic · 20/06/2018 20:20

I'm sorry but it does look like he's cheated.

You should gather evidence - emails, texts, bank statements, check pockets for receipts.

Then if you need to confront him he can't fob you off

Original poster
Kissymissy21 · 20/06/2018 21:53

Thanks a lot everyone for reading my post and replying to it.

OP posts: