*WARNING* COHABITING PARENTS

[Orla122]

I never realised how easy it was to be made homeless. As I know many people do I was cohabiting with my partner and my name was not on any rental agreement or bills so there was no proof I made any financial contribution to the home which in turn lead me to have no legal rights to my only home. Also because my ex partner is on the birth certificates of the children and his sole name on everything connected to the house because of this the law has made me homeless and taken all my parental rights from me. I have to find a house (minimum 2 beds) so I can have any custody of my children. social housing wont provide a two bed without the custody of the children and I cant get custody without a 2bed property. This is the law and the government putting me in a cycle of nothingness. I cant even get private rental because the landlords wont except housing benefits. If you are cohabiting or no someone who is either get out or get legal agreements. I didn't believe it would happen to me but here we are I have no money no where to live no access to my children and the only way to get my children back is to raise enough money to get myself somewhere to live. I need at least £3000 to secure a two bed private rental. That's a deposit first moths rent and 3 extra months rent to give me the time to sort all my benefits. Anyone with any idea or suggestion of any women's organisations that can help me?

AynRandTheObjectivist

The OP didn't need to be married. She needed to be on the tenancy of the place that they rented.

Has anyone mentioned an Occupation Order, OP?

You may qualify if -

The person you cohabit or cohabited with is the owner or tenant, and the home is or was intended to be your shared home.

That should apply to you.

Talk to Women’s Aid about it.

Will the 'just a piece of paper', 'don't need to prove our love', 'patriarchal oppression', 'what's the point when divorce exists' brigade please now shut the fuck up?

Wow.

People don’t need to get married to avoid this. Joint ownership/tenancy would work too. As would maintaining your own savings and income.

Yes could go to court for Section 35 Occupation order, it’s free to apply for.Get a solicitor
The occupation order will apply 2 tests the “balance of harm” (considers welfare needs of the children) and the “core criteria” tests (considers housing & finances needs of the adults & children)

Ayn,what a bizarre and unnecessary outburst.being joint tenants would have addressed this

If you don't have custody of your children, then maybe get a job and save up for a deposit like everyone else.

What are you spending your days doing?

I can well believe the police asked her to leave. It happened to me when I called the police on my exh. I was distraught but they put so much pressure on me and I didn’t want to stay in the house with ex so I left. They said, next time we will ask him to leave

(I did sort out legally btw to get the children back.)

you had an empathy bypass ShineyShooney?

Yes - a good plan would be for the OP to try and get her life on track to get the DC back, but thats not the nicest way to share the message

Evening OP is talking about needing 3 months to sort out benefits- odd she's not mentioned job hunting instead.

I believe the OP said that Legal Aid has been granted and I assume that's around applying for contact/residency. I would still advocate getting in touch with Women's Aid though for a) emotional support at a really difficult time and b) their expert knowledge of Family Law (it's more than some Family Law solicitors have sometimes!) They'll be able to translate the legal jargon into plain english and also suggest pitfalls/other options that a solicitor wouldn't necessarily think of first.

I'm afraid the police often do leave the children with a violent abuser. Unless they have serious safeguarding concerns - i.e. the child(ren) are at immediate risk of significant harm - they have no powers to remove them. Even so, it doesn't sound to me as though the OP was well served by her local force.

Women do know this though, it is low self-esteem that makes them accept it I think

A chat at the weekend revealed amongst one group of people I know don't know this..

One highly intelligent woman who works for a top government agency was quite adamant that she had common law rights living in her bf's house. Her mother got quite shirty with me saying I didn't know what I was talking about.

In the end I agreed to disagree.

As you correctly say there’s no common law rights,but it appears a pervasive notion
Wonder why friend and her mum got so shirty at this being raised?
I’d advise any cohabitating women to familiarise self with legislation

- i.e. the child(ren) are at immediate risk of significant harm - they have no powers to remove them. Even so, it doesn't sound to me as though the OP was well served by her local force

What could her local force have done then? If, as you say, they have no powers to remove the children, and the o/p had no right to stay in the property, what were they supposed to do? When you say they didn’t serve her well, when there was nothing legally they could have done.

If i recall correctly, unless there is immediate threat to life and limb, the police have no power to remove children unless court ordered to do so.

So unless there was a real risk of your ex significantly physically harming or killing the children, the police cannot remove the children.

Even if that were the case, the police can only remove to approved foster care until the next working day when ss can get a court order.

Legal Aid should be able to advise about an occupation order. You can also ring the National Centre for Domestic Violence, which is run in partnership with Women’s Aid. They can organise emergency orders for free if you meet the right conditions.

Tel 0808 2000 247

What could her local force have done then?

Found the OP space in a refuge.

Found the OP a space in a refuge Really Doesn’t work like that I’m afraid.

Found the OP space in a refuge

To be fair, we don’t know whether they did or not. Or if they offered. The o/p just says she is homeless- that could be living on the streets or in a refuge, or temporary emergency housing.

The police still wouldn’t have had the power to remove the children to a refuge. They’d have had to obtain a PPO which means emergency foster care.

In cases of domestic violence or threatening behaviour the woman can request to speak to a woman officer and the police should always offer support, help them access other agencies such as Women's Aid and arrange transport to a safe place.

I just found that on Google. That doesn't seem to have happened here unfortunately.

I just found that on Google. That doesn't seem to have happened here unfortunately

You have no evidence that it didn’t. The o/p hasn’t said what happened after she was removed from the house. She hasn’t said anything about her currennt living arrangements and what she was or wasn’t offered.

No Micah that's true it's not clear.
I was just pointing out that police should help with accessing refuges or support in these situations. It was stated that police don't help with that/ that's not how it works by a previous poster.

Am I missing something here?

Where does the op say he was violent to her and she was not violent to him?

Um yes Sunshine, you're missing empathy and tact.

Op called the police herself and her ex partner is due in court for domestic abuse. She's said she is concerned for her children's safety.

Sorry, I think you're being a bit obtuse. She sounds pretty desperate and frightened to me.

her ex partner is due in court for domestic abuse.

I see no mention of this?? Just that they due in court assuming over the children ??

It is not clear by the OP the whole situation.
Just because the OP phoned the police doe s not mean they were not violent.

My ex was forever calling the police on me when in fact I was the victim but he knew to phone them and make up lies before I could report.

Seeing how the OP has been removed without the children makes me think their is something missing.

I'm sorry you went through that with your ex Sunshine. What a bastard.

I doubt OP has been lying by omission for the whole thread though? It's quite a wild claim.
The sad fact is, a man who has been violent to his partner is allowed parental responsibility unless it's proven the children are at risk.

OP wasn't on the tenancy agreement so legally she has no claim to stay there and had to be removed. With no home to go to, she cannot get custody of the children.
He's done her up like a kipper.

Something very wrong with this thread.