*WARNING* COHABITING PARENTS

[Orla122]

I never realised how easy it was to be made homeless. As I know many people do I was cohabiting with my partner and my name was not on any rental agreement or bills so there was no proof I made any financial contribution to the home which in turn lead me to have no legal rights to my only home. Also because my ex partner is on the birth certificates of the children and his sole name on everything connected to the house because of this the law has made me homeless and taken all my parental rights from me. I have to find a house (minimum 2 beds) so I can have any custody of my children. social housing wont provide a two bed without the custody of the children and I cant get custody without a 2bed property. This is the law and the government putting me in a cycle of nothingness. I cant even get private rental because the landlords wont except housing benefits. If you are cohabiting or no someone who is either get out or get legal agreements. I didn't believe it would happen to me but here we are I have no money no where to live no access to my children and the only way to get my children back is to raise enough money to get myself somewhere to live. I need at least £3000 to secure a two bed private rental. That's a deposit first moths rent and 3 extra months rent to give me the time to sort all my benefits. Anyone with any idea or suggestion of any women's organisations that can help me?

You called the police because your partner was violent towards you and the police removed you and left the children in his care? What?!

Where are you staying? Contact Women's Aid and the council. You can be placed in a hostel or refuge with your children. There must now be a police report as evidence of domestic abuse which can be used as proof.

Do you have crime reference numbers and evidence of domestic abuse?
That needs followed up.get a solicitor
At present you’re presenting to LA as lone adult, they’ll need evidence of children residency with you.

Your wider point,yes women need to make informed choices regard finances & cohabitation

Confused. Was your partner the permetrator of the abuse?

If so the police where wrong to leave them in his care.
I would not usually suggest contacting social services but if they are at risk that might be your best option to have them taken from his care.

This does not happen to all co-habiting mothers. My house is rented from the HA in my sole name.

Sorry this has happened to you though OP, I really hope things improve for you quickly. I wouldn't normally be in a rush to contact SS but in this case, they might actually help in some way.

The Police attendance would automatically trigger a referral to SS.

It’s the same for anyone, male or female.

If you’re female and both names are on the legal stuff, it will likely be the male who is removed due to children being left with the mother.

If your name isn’t on the contract, you’ll be removed.

You need to rent a cheap room, sofa surf or live with your parents whil you save for a deposit.

How old are your kids? If they are same sex or under 8 you could get away with a one bed until you get on your feet. Get a sofa bed for the lounge.

Please ring Women's Aid and see a solicitor.

If so the police where wrong to leave them in his care.

If they don’t affect an arrest, they usually prevent further conflict by removing one party. If one party has no legal right to remain, that’s the one they remove.

Children are considered separately and they won’t assume children are at risk just because one parent has alleged inter-adult violence. If they see no immediate risk to the D.C. and both parents have PR, they’ll leave them in the family home with the remaining parent.

Unfortunately for cases like this, that’s how it’s done.

Similarly courts don’t accept that violent men are automatically bad fathers. So contact is sometimes ordered in some very dubious situations.

I have legal aid thankfully and I will be pursuing this but it is so very hard to get through it all.

Police send contact report to MASH in local authority when children are involved

there have been many threads here warning people of the dangers of not being married, and living together and (normally) the mother staying at home and not going to work and having a way to earn a living

Some people still think there are 'common law' rights

OP says the violence is going to court so ex must have been charged and bailed.

If so the police where wrong to leave them in his care

Safeguarding checks will have been carries out. In many dv cases the abuser is NOT a risk to the children. If this is so, the children will be left with that parent. Especially if there is a bigger risk with the other parent being homeless - where would they go to keep the kids safe?

If the o/p does not legally live in the house, as in not on the rental contract, they have no right to remain. The police cannot remove the legal tenant and leave the o/p there.

The police have removed me until it is all through court

Criminal charges against him? Or family court?

But social services and housing would help OP to leave with her children.

Are you now on a list for social housing? It is possible to be in a one bed flat for example and convert it to two bedroom by making the living room your bedroom. That would be regarded as acceptable accommodation for a mother and 2 small children. Accept anything that is offered.

Do you not have any family that can help or any real life support?

Violent men may not be considered a direct physical risk to their children but they have already caused harm by exposing their children to violence or at least creating a climate of fear in the household.

SS frequently remove children from DV households regardless of whether the children are being physically harmed. Exposing children to DV IS abuse.

Women's Aid - 0808 2000 247 - can find you a place in a refuge where the workers should help you access your legal rights around getting your children back and, subsequently, securing accommodation. If refuge doesn't work for you, your local council housing department should have a list of landlords that accept HB and they may also be able to help with the deposit for a private let. (Under the Homelessness Reduction Act 2017 Local Authorities have a duty to provide everyone who is homeless or at risk of homelessness with meaningful help irrespective of their priority need status.)

Did the police conduct a DASH risk assessment and, if so, are you deemed to be high risk? Are your circumstances due to be heard at a MARAC and have the police put you in touch with an IDVA? These are all things that can help.

I agree with PP - seek legal advice. Information is power and not knowing what rights you have in law is allowing your ex partner to maintain control of everything.

if you were removed - did the police deem you to be the violent person?

Although I agree partners should legally formalise their living arrangements, you're explanation of the law is incorrect.

It's not always the case that you would be removed or have no rights. There are so many factors that impact eg if he owned the house before you moved in; which part of the UK you live in (different legal situation in Scotland than Englan): whether its HA or LA.

Speak to Shelter about the housing situation. You may have occupancy rights.

As for leaving your DCs with someone who has been violent, as PPs have suggested, contact Woman's Aid.

I am so sorry for you OP.

But sorry also to say that those advocating Legal Advice maybe do not understand that such advice is not FREE, it costs a lot, apart from the first consultation if you are lucky.

Women's Aid is the place to go for now. Take their advice and see where it leads.

Best of luck to you. Horrible situation, but you are not getting the right advice yet for your circumstances yet I think.

if you were removed - did the police deem you to be the violent person?

No. They “deem” her to be the person with no legal right to live in the house. Aren’t you RingTFT?

Betty is right OP; A room in a refuge is your best route out of the catch 22.

To diffuse situation, police will remove 1 adult. Op has no legal tenants rights, her ex does
So in that case it was op who was removed from the property
The ex has PR he will be deemed suitable to be with the children

The police would not leave the children with him if she called to report domestic violence,

Oh God this is awful OP. I'm so sorry.

Will the 'just a piece of paper', 'don't need to prove our love', 'patriarchal oppression', 'what's the point when divorce exists' brigade please now shut the fuck up?