OLD - Childrens disclosure UPDATE

[tabularasa35]

I felt a bit stupid after asking if it was a date - "wasnt it the first time?" he asked.

So... second date was good. He paid for dinner and walked me to the subway. We were a bit touchy this time and I felt there was a moment when he was going to kiss but got a bit nervous and chickened out (or I shyly turned a bit, dont know).

Then I asked him to stay a bit and asked if he knew I had kids and what he thought about it. His response was a bit odd - others personal lifes are not his business... he then checked my profile and admitted he didn't read it before.

He also brought up the exclusivity. Told me he only dates one person at a time and asked about me.

All was good and normal that night - texted a bit when we got home. But for the following two days he has been writing less and I feel a kind of disconexion. Yesterday was the first time he didn't send me a good night message. The deadline for his big project is in two days and he has been working really late so I assumed it was a good reason for less contact.

This morning I checked and he was online in OLD. Now I am confused. And honestly sad. I really like him but I feel the kids put him off and he hasn't told me.

He had invited me to a hike this weekend (before kids conversation) and now I wonder if I should check I'd we are still on (no time was discussed) and/or write to him at all today or wait.

After a cheating XH I spent three years single (voluntarily). I am very picky and he is the one in 500 profiles I wrote to. I know it has been only 2 dates, but I have

🤣😂 agreed!

Op, my dear, I’m a smidge annoyed with you.

Your instincts told you he’d cooled, you knew not to chase him but your insecurities overrode the bang on instincts and then you gift wrapped the chance for him to hurt/disappoint you.

He is officially a waste of time, he is rude and doesn’t have decent intentions.

Drop him like a rock, block him, no response, just go, get him erased and move on.

You only met him twice so he deserves no wake, no wallowing, nothing

Chalk it up as a lesson to remain grounded and carry on.

I know how it feels, it’s crap, people not being decent normal people when we hope that that are, but that’s life.

It does all make sense in the end, but by god you have to have some faith in god knows what, but the end of this book is a happy one, you just have to keep turning the pages.

I’ve been through exactly the same kind of disappointment when online dating, and now I’m with a man who is literally a dream come true, sure he’s not perfect, but he adores me and is absolutely the man I need by my side, and I am absolutely the woman he needs at his.

Wow his reply to you was pretty blunt
Yeah, he's obviously not interested. Don't take it personally (hard not to I know).

I watched a documentary on Netflix about guys like this ..."hot girls wanted turned on" ( a 6 episode series, one of the episodes was about OLD). There was a guy on there, nothing special at all. He would ghost a girl for barely any reason. He just wanted to move on to the next one. I think he honestly represented 80-90% of the guys OLD. It usually takes lots of dates before meeting someone worth having a relationship with.

I would also make it clear you have kids from the get go. As soon as they start arranging the first meet tell them you have to check the time/day with your babysitter.

I think i would be blunt and to the point

"do you have a problem with me having children"

No cos that sounds like you're bovvered.
Just ignore.

Tell him you’ve thought about it and you’re not interested.

Don't reply ffs. Block him.

He isn't who you want him to be. Giving him space to respond, apologise or manipulate you will only end in you giving him the benefit of the doubt and having to relearn all over again - he isn't who you want him to be.

When he's bored or next rejected... without blocking him, you'll be his back up plan. Shut that off right now!

I have to ask... have women become so desperate for a man that they would accept this kind of treatment from a man they hardly know?

I mean WTAF! Where is your self respect. IF you are that desperate for a man with so many other issues you need to concentrate on and trust me a man will not make it any better. You can always put on your profile that you have children.

Beaver pop by the dating thread, then you’ll see for yourself

You can always put on your profile that you have children

She had, he never bothered to read it.

@BoxsetsAndPopcorn "Can't you just enjoy some time alone whilst everything settles from the break up etc and you have some actual stability"

I broke up three years ago I am divorced and all matters were settled. But XH wants to modify it now and taking me to court to change DS school because he moved to a new neighborhood and in the lot he added custody and I pay for cost...

@Vivasummer Well If you think your having children would put him off, the last thing he would want is a video of your son.

Well, obviously. But my DC are here and are not going anywhere so if it puts him off, good to know.

About my son's video, it was from his karate grading (he was telling me he enrolled in karate). It is an event with public so I didn't see it as private but given several comments about it, I take note.

After a night sleep... no, I am most definitely not replying. Honesty is the best policy, but a "Not interested" would have sufficed. Instead he has cowardly withdrawn and put the cherry on twattop with the last message. That was not rejection. That was pure arrogance and disrespect.

I would obviously like a relationship, that's why I signed up for old. But I am not desperate. I could have settled and didn't. I have said no to a date when not interested. And I liked this guy but I am also saying no to be second choice and disrespected.

Unfortunately this wasn’t a needle, it was just a little prick.

😂😂😂 The kind of humor that has me laughing for the rest of the day.

I think I'd have to reply, purely cos his behaviour is poor. I'd have to end it rather than letting him think it's ok to ghost people.

He is not exactly ghosting... more like keeping me on the back burner. He tried this morning.
Sent me a message saying he just woke up early this morning. I am letting him think whatever he needed to think about.

I will only reply if he tries to arrange a date (to tell him adios). Otherwise not going to waste my time.

And if he doesn't? Do t give him the satisfaction of binning you off. Get in there first with a good old block and delete. You're still letting him be in control here. You need to take that control off him.

He's been busy on WhatsApp and the OLD site lining up other women. As soon, as a guy says about only dating one woman at a time, you know he's a duplicitous prick. At this stage, there is nout wrong with contacting and meeting several people but it’s shitty to pretend you’re exclusively going on dates with you.