Sparkles, here is some advice I wish I had been given when I was in your position. Make an escape plan, make it practical and workable. I am divorced, and know a lot of other divorcees, one of the things we are all astonished at, to a woman, is how our exes had the whole thing planned, they had it down, just in case we left, they knew their behaviour was intolerable, and there was a risk we would leave, so they set it up financially, sometimes years in advance, sometimes decades, to screw us over, with absolutely no regard for the children. Often we had a little "gut feeling" that things were not quite right in their financial dealings with us, and how they jumped on our assets etc, but we were married, we trusted, we shared, we were fucking stupid! This is the same whether we entered the marriage as the high earner, or with assets (property, houses, etc) So, yes, by all means, look at how you can work on your marriage, but also, if you are giving it one final chance, you need to start getting your shit together to make sure that if you do leave you will not be utterly screwed. Start by getting yourself a safe deposit box, Metrobank have them, and set up a separate and SECRET bank account, put in a little bit of money, in cash, every now and again, when you can. You need to be in a position to fund your life, on a dramatically reduced scale, if he pulls the financial plug, so do some sums, how much do you need to run the car, pay the basic bills, and keep the children feeling OK, how much would you need to pay the mortgage if or when you do separate and he stops paying that.... He may begin by saying he will be reasonable, it's very unlikely that he will stay that way, particularly given his current behaviour, and make sure any valuables, passports etc are easily accessible, to you, not him, and that you could shove everything in a bag and dump it in the safe deposit box. Next start going through the family finances, and see where things are, check if the mortgage is up to date, and in joint names, or solely in his. If it is in his alone, then you need to gather together evidence that you have contributed. After 7 years of marriage all pre-marital assets are joint, however it makes things easier if they are in joint names. Take copies of pensions, investments, shares, bank statements, and check money in and money out. Are there unusual expenses? I bet there are.... Keep a log of how much time he is spending with the children, if you do separate he will be after 50/50 because that's the way to get at least 50% of the assets, and as a SAHM you have taken a huge earnings hit, and career hit, the gender pay gap is even worse for mothers, but with a whopping £4billion of unpaid Child Maintenance Arrears in this country, you can bet you will be supporting the children on your own, which is why you need to have some sort of financial cushion. Do work at your marriage, and try and make it work, but don't doubt for a second that he will have an escape plan, and he will have arranged things to screw you (and the children) over if you do leave. By the way, his behaviour is abusive, and is likely to get worse - you have to protect your children, and yourself. Take some practical steps, now, please! I hope it works out for you, and your children, Good luck!