1st date in 15 minutes help!

[futurestar]

I've come over all dizzy
I'm ready to go and I'm scared lol

I've been single 5 months but it feels new because we only stopped talking a month or so ago as he got nasty I had to block
He was an abusive ass

I went on old for a laugh and started talking to a really nice guy anyway, we are off for a drink and first meet tonight! In 15 mins arrgh

Any tips? Feel so out of practise lol

Relax, be yourself and have a nice time.

Don’t get drunk by mistake!

Smile. Don't get drunk. Tell someone where you're going and check in when home.

Take deep breaths and watch carefully for red flags but believe it's possible men can be nice. If not this one.. another soon and this is practice. Hopefully this one x

Just be yourself and don’t put too much pressure on it. If you have a nice time then anything else is a bonus. And remember, he’s just a normal man that’s looking for someone to be with. Good luck!

Oh god I've had a glass of wine already and I haven't eaten

He seems so nice but I suddenly have this feeling of sadness of my ex, is this normal ?
He was a big part of my life but also hurt me very much

I think coz he was trying to get me back at the end and I said no

Play the game, not the occasion.

You’re going for a friendly drink, enjoy it

Sadness of abusive ex is completely normal. I get it myself. Wouldn't want him back but I am sad it went the way it did and not how I hoped.

Don't worry. Hope you're having a fab night

Hi everyone

The drink was really nice. He's lovely. He has asked for a second date this weekend to which I said yeah

He's texted me today saying how about getting a hotel?! Because where we are going is quite far from our houses and would cost more in taxis - what's everyone's advice as I haven't replied yet ?!

X

Do you want to get a hotel. I mean it probably implies he would like sex. Maybe not though

Um, bit quick, isn't he?

If you're not ready to have sex, then no, you'll stick to taxis this time round.

Ooo that would ring alarm bells for me - a hotel on a second date?!

If you want sex crack on with hotel, provided you ensure you tell someone where you are and check in with them regularly. If you’re not after sex yet then stick to taxis-and if he’s not happy with that ditch him immediately.

I wouldn't feel comfortable with that. It does suggest he wants sex. Could you have a date nearer or is it some kind of event you're going to? I might be tempted to suggest somewhere closer for the date.

No I wouldn't say I do want sex, I think it's a bit soon although I wouldn't put a time on it I guess
When we met initially online as we spoke loads before meeting I said about taking it slow and funnily enough we've spoke lots about sex, we've spoke lots about everything and we both said about not being ready as in I wasnt and he said he would go as slow as I want so when he mentioned the hotel I didn't think about sex side of things
I don't think I would and would like to stick to it
Just think what's wrong with taking it slow or am I just being silly

We kissed and he texted me saying how nice it was and I said me too but he was really nervous too
And even said to me sorry he was nervous etc

It's a comedy club they have on and he said about going to which I said yeah at the time and then he's texted today saying about making it a weekend (hotel) as we had also planned Sunday lunch on the Sunday on the date too x

I wouldn't go to a hotel on a second date ... even if you want to.

To me I think it tells him you're easy and for little effort he can get sex.

Obviously some women are okay with casual sex and that's fine but I think that's the message agreeing to a hotel on a second date sends when planned in advance

Yeah spot on, I have friends that do and have causal sex, me I don't want to but I do really like this guy
He seems nice, he says he wants a friend and doesn't want to be single anymore he says he is sick of old and casual meet ups!
But I was thinking go and not have sex ? Because we have spoken about the subject prior and he knows how i feel about it
As in what's wrong with a cuddle and a kiss?! I'm absolutely fine with that x

A weekend away is a bit full-on for a 2nd date, isn't it?

I've tried that OP... did end in sex and it was way too soon and ruined the relationship imo from what it may have been without it.

It won't hurt to wait a few weeks and not risk it especially if you really like him

If you want to do it, then book two rooms. I wouldn't want him to book them and there be a "mistake" at the hotel and no second room booked.

Yeah it does sound so

I mean at the pub, we hit it off he asked if wanna do this comedy club and then we got talking about Sunday lunches so I said let's do one this weekend and then he said about the hotel

I know if I said no to the hotel he would be cool, he's already said we can take it slow I just feel I wish he didn't say about the hotel as I think it will be fun x in 2 minds x

Oh really? Interesting
That's what I'm thinking what's the rush ?!

Mistake at check in that cracked me up
Yeah could you imagine!!!

X

You don't have to jump because he wants too.

It sounds like you're already changing what you say you want to be like.

No I know I don't, not saying that at all just all new to me and he's my 1at date I've met on old as everyone else was odd lol! X

He's said "of course we can take it slow".
He also says "let's go to a hotel!"

Bit of a discrepancy.