Apparently sleeping with a prostitute on your stag do is ok

[Somekindoflove]

DP of over a decade told me tonight that sleeping with a stripper on your stage do is totally ok as long as they are attractive. He’s drunk. I am absolutely fuming and he can’t ujdrrsrand why. We aren’t married and have three children together. I am full time carer for our last child who is disabled. Therefore I have no means financially to leave. I am raging. Can anyone give me some advice? Pls tell me I’m not over reacting.

Your title says prostitute, your OP says stripper - they are not the same.

As for what he said, of course it's not ok to have sex with someone else regardless of who or what they are on your stag do.

A stripper who also has sex with clients is by definition a prostitute, welcomething.

Well actually, that was kind of my point. Strippers strip for money. Prostitutes have sex for money.

xbeex Im sure your "D" H wont mind if you partake in a little orgasmic meditation then.

www.womenshealthmag.com/sex-and-love/a19906110/orgasmic-meditation/

Being totally financially dependent is crazy. Sorry to bring it up but you are in an unbelievably vulnerable position. Why aren't you married? You would be financially covered if you were married.

If you get married, don't let him have a stag do!

@HelenaDove THAT is exactly what I need!!

Yes And he cant object.

Oh yes, when you call men on their bullshit and they say they were only joking. Twats is what they are

He wasn’t joking and he’s a twat.

Does his sister know? Poor woman.

Are any of your children girls if so would he be happy for his daughter’s partner to behave in that way?

How does a stripper shag someone 'on your stage'?If you mean on a stage in a strip club, that's illegal and makes the place a brothel. If It's in a brothel, that makes the woman not a stripper.

In answer to your question, I believe a decent man wouldn't have said this unless he was BLATENTLY joking. And he obviously wasn't, or you'd have known he wasn't.

There's a big difference between a stripper and a prostitute.

Known he WAS, I mean! It's very early!

Rantymare, Op meant "stag do" not stage. "Sleeping with a stripper on your stag do is totally OK"...

Do you have friends or family that can help you? He's a twat and you should make a plan to leave him

Dump his arse and talk to his sister. Joking my arse! He is nothing but a twat.

@ FreeMantle
LovingLola to be fair, being financially independent with 3 children is a tough ask.
You would need to be on over 45k at least I'd imagine. Which you could probably only get if you trained a bit and therefore had a bit of support with the 3 kids.
I've been "independent" for years and marriage will clip my wings as I lose tax credits.

Ehmmm I think you may have got the marriage and tax credit bit wrong. Marriage will not make you 'lose' tax credits if you already have a partner. It's not the 'marriage' that changes your entitlement it's your joint income married or not. Have you perhaps 'forgotten' to declare your partners income when doing your tax credit claim ?

The question about wether he is winding you up because he is drunk or speaking the truth from deep felt misogynistic feelings towards women - is quite frankly irrelevant. It's the fact that regardless of the above, You feel like your opinion counts for nothing because You have put yourself in a position where your options are very difficult.

He could, quite frankly come out with the most outrageous sexists, racist rants imaginable - and you feel forced to remain there because of the lack of marriage and financial dependence. That is your problem, not some theoretical debate about stag dos.

Marriage does make all the difference. For starters it would give this poster some options about leaving as she would be entitled to a share of marital assets . One child and no agreement for marriage is pretty daft OP, three is bonkers and completely screws your financial options if you no longer have your own income.
You have a few options.

1. Your disabled child is both yours and his. He can reduce his hours (and income) so you can work and earn your own money. You have taken the financial hit to deal with a joint problem of childcare . That is not fair.

1. He agrees to marry so your assets become joint. (Particularly good if he owns the property) and the only fair set up for a woman who has agreed to take on the childcare while the child's father earns money for the family.

1. You see a Solicitor about your position if you leave , to discuss possibilities of making a claim for him to house the children under schedule 1 of the housing act from the current property. (Not at all easy or straightforward - or even relevant in some cases).

Thanks category (half asleep me shouldn't post). Well the rest of my post still applies ! :)

Yuck!

Apparently, I ruined last night because I got so upset about his comments. He wanted to have sex and I ruined the moment. Can you believe it. We haven’t spoken since that conversation.

We aren’t married and he owns this house. At the moment I have no way of supporting me and the kids on my own. I will have to wait until my youngest is in school. Then I can make an escape plan. Only two years to go. I may be ranting on this thread for quite a while.

DP is on a six figure salary. There’s no way he could reduce his hours, it’s not that kind of job. I just need to work smart.

As for the stripper/prostitute, it was at a house party. The strippers arrived and then after they performed to the friends, took him upstairs to a room. Came as strippers, left as prostitutes. Apparently this is all normal on a stag do.

OP, you might find youre better off financially in this situation if you do leave (rightly or wrongly)

That is not normal.